What do Jellicles do, anyway? (Or, the time I spent as a cat)
by RvnsDsks
Summary: A Cats self-insert, but with a twist. I had always wondered just what bigger things were at play in the musical, but I never thought my answer would come in this way. "I was hallucinating. It had to be that, or else I was drugged, because I could not be a cat." Can only choose four characters, but this will include all of our favorite Jellicle Cats! Rated T just to be safe.
1. broadway and beginnings

**Ok, here we go! Another Cats self insert! Bear with me, though, guys, because like I said, this isn't a traditional self-insert. Or maybe it is, you'll have to be the judge.**

 **I tend to overanalyze things a lot, especially if it's something I love (read: am obsessed with) like movies and Broadway plays/musicals, etc. I catch things that some people overlook, and read into things a lot more than people should. So as I was watching Cats for the first time ages ago, I kept asking why? Why is the junkyard the way it is, why do the cats act that way, what deeper story is there that we don't get to see in the short time we have to watch?**

 **And I decided to make notes, and save them for a rainy day. I am pleased to say that day is today, and so without further ado, I give you: What do Jellicles do, anyway? (Subtitle: The time I spent as a cat)**

 ***Sorry, more ado. I apologize in advance for any spelling errors, and if some of the characters seem a little OOC. I did my best to portray them accurately, but I am also following my head canon, so that's the reason for that.***

 **Hope you all enjoy, and let me know what you think in the reviews!**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

I clicked the spacebar on my laptop, effectively pausing the movie, and leaned back with a sigh. I had just finished watching Cats- for the 10th time that week. It was a dream of mine to be in that show, one that would most likely go unrealized as I had no ballet training whatsoever and was sorely lacking in balance and grace. But it was great to watch the people who did have those skills, and admire the way they danced.

More than the dancing, the cats themselves were the best part of it all. And the Junkyard...oh the fun things I would do in that place. So many hidden spaces and secret lairs and junk to play with and on and under. I always wondered what I would do if I ever got the chance to be a part of Cats, but I eventually stopped because I was just torturing myself.

I packed away my laptop and grabbed my keys from the table. I was, ironically enough, going to see Cats on Broadway in a few hours; you know, before it moved to the West End. As I got into my car I contemplated, not for the first time, of how all the good shows always ended up on the West End, instead of coming to Broadway.

I made it to the theatre just as the line was starting to form outside the entrance, and I sent a text to my mom to let her know that I was there and would be back late so not to wait up, and I love you, and don't forget to leave some chicken for me. I turned my phone on silent and shoved it into my purse before climbing out and jogging across the street to take up a spot in line. I ended up a few feet from the door, sandwiched between a woman with a screaming little boy and a man who looked so much like Neil Patrick Harris it scared me. I did a few subtle side glances, but I knew better than to out rightly ask if it really was him; I had made that mistake too many times before, never ending well each time. I comforted myself with the thought that if it really was him, why would he being watching Cats when he had his own show to do, or some vacation spot to be on the chance he had a break?

The line moved surprisingly quickly, and I was in my seat with the playbill in no time. Of course, just my luck, the woman and the screaming boy were seated right behind me, and the kid had now taken to screaming profanities in my ear. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I still was, though he shut up when the lights dimmed and the show started. The familiar overture started, and the lights on stage came up and danced in strange patterns in time with the music.

The Junkyard came into focus, and I leaned forward in anticipation as the cats began to make their appearances. Everything went exactly like I knew it would, only 1,000 times better because I was seeing it in real life. The only part I didn't enjoy as much as I thought I would was the Rum Tum Tugger. One of my favorite scenes, (and with good reason) was partially ruined by the boy behind me. He took to kicking my seat in time with the music, and I cast angry glares at the boy and his mom in an attempt to get him to stop. But she didn't seem to be concerned about it; she was probably just glad he wasn't screaming in her ear anymore.

He stopped kicking as soon as Grizabella arrived and the music turned darker, and I was beyond relieved for that. I wasn't sure my back could have taken any more. The short sequence of Grizabella's rejection played out silently and intensely, and I shivered involuntarily, not for the first time glad that I wasn't in her position.

Then the scene jumped ahead to Bustopher Jones, and the audience laughed at all the talk of food and his white spats. Soon enough, it was Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, and their infamous cartwheel across the stage. It was even better in person that the movie. The boy behind me fell asleep during Old Deuteronomy, as did the man next to me, and they didn't wake again till Memory, which was chilling and beautiful at the same time, and had several people bursting into tears.

I chose to stay in my seat during intermission, and checked my phone to see if I had any new messages. There were just two from Mom, **Ok** , followed by **What time will you be back?**

The lights flashed, announcing the start of act 2, and I barely managed to send back, **Not late, probably midnight, don't wait up.** I knew she would worry, and would probably stay awake anyway, but that was just how she was. I didn't have time to worry about it as the show started again, and I was swept back into the story. And then, Macavity appeared, and the epic fight between him and Munkustrap was made so much more epic, with a slight change in choreography that made it that much more cool.

Then, Macavity made his mad dash for the wires, the ones that would turn out the lights in the Junkyard. I was on the edge of my seat at this point, as was everyone else, waiting to see what would happen. Just as he was about to plug the two cables together, Macavity paused for dramatic effect. In the movie, he looked out at all the Jellicles and grinned, maybe even laughed, before looking up at the wires and blowing the lights.

But this time, instead looking out at the Cats, he looked out, and directly at me. I froze, feeling that everything was slowing down. No, surely he wasn't looking at me, all the way up in the front mezzanine. He was looking at the audience in general. But when I turned my head to scan the crowd, I couldn't. My eyes darted around and I saw that everyone else was as frozen as I was, though they didn't seem as panicked as I was.

My eyes whipped back to Macavity's, who I knew wasn't real, was just an actor in costume and makeup. But in that moment, it felt real. Macavity's eyes flashed, and his mouth formed a wicked grin before the cables connected, and there was a blinding flash of light, a feeling like I was flying, and then darkness.

Complete and total darkness.


	2. heads, tails, and introductions

**Here's chapter two for you guys! I'm glad at the apparent interest, and I hope you will continue to enjoy my story. In this chapter I finally make it to the Junkyard and meet the cats, but it's not quite what I expected...**

 **Just a heads up, I do have the first quarter of the story written out, but the rest I am still working on, so after a certain point (which I will warn you about) updates will be a little slower. But that's a way away, so don't worry!**

 **Also, I am following my own head-canon for this story, with influences by various casts, as well as actor's own notes and choreographer notes for the movie. My image for these cats is movie-verse, but feel free to picture whoever you want. I left it vague for that purpose. :)**

 **Hope you enjoy and don't forget to review!**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

I woke up to darkness, with the fading notes of the Jellicle Ball ringing in my ears. For a moment I just lay still, gradually becoming aware of my body and making sure everything was intact. Then it occurred to me that I was lying down instead of sitting, and that I was cold, and that the surface I lay on was hard and rocky, like gravel.

I opened my eyes and saw that I was lying in a street, which on closer examination turned out to be a driveway of sorts, and a single street lamp shone a few feet away. I sat up, not sure where I was and not sure how I had gotten there. I rolled over into a kneeling position and looked up and down the street, before pushing myself onto my feet. I was unsteady for a moment, and I ran hands over my face to try and re focus. But then I stopped, my fingers freezing on my cheeks, feeling the hair that wasn't there before. No, it wasn't hair. It was fur.

"Oh no." I moaned, running my hands along my face again. "No, no. Please, no!"

I didn't dare look down at my body, but instead made my way up the driveway I had landed in front of to stare into the reflective surface of the car door, and my fears were confirmed. I was hallucinating. It had to be that, or else I was drugged, because I could not be a cat.

But even as I thought it I knew it wasn't true. I was a cat. A cat with soft, slightly fluffy, dark fur. I couldn't make out any distinct markings or colorings, but I guessed that I was some kind of tabby, or maybe a shorthair. I explored the rest of my face with my hands, well, paws, I guess, and felt my ears twitch when I touched them. Something brushed my ankle and I jumped, then relaxed as I realized it was my tail. My tail. That was something that would take some getting used to.

I slowly became aware of the smells of the place I was in. I could smell the gasoline of the car, a smell which I had loved when I was a human (weird I know, don't judge) but which now irritated my feline nose. It was a lot sharper, and I picked up a few scents of food, I think fish, and something vaguely spicy. Then I sniffed again, realizing that the other thing I was smelling, a sort of, dusty sweetness, was me.

I blinked a few times, trying to clear my head of weird thoughts, (and failing) when I smelled something new. It smelled kind of like I did, but was distinctively different, kind of smoky and something that reminded me of Christmas trees, and then I heard voices and realized what it was.

Cats!

I panicked briefly, and tried to make myself smaller beside the car as the voices came closer. I couldn't make out what was being said, but as I peeked around the bumper of the car I realized that they would see me, especially the cat on the left, whose head was turned to face the cat on the right, who was just a little taller than he was.

As the cats got closer, the taller one stopped suddenly, holding out his hand (paw) to stop his companion. They were close enough now that I could see some color, and noticed that the tall one was a dark grey and the other was white.

"What is it?" The smaller, white Tom said, looking around anxiously.

"There's someone else here." The grey cat answered in a whisper, and I silently cursed myself, it not having occurred to me that other cats could smell me too. The cat turned his head quickly, too quickly for me to avoid, and for a second we locked eyes.

"There," he said, pointing at me, and as they approached I did the only logical thing I could do; I dove under the car.

I panted for a moment, curling myself up as small as I could with just my head peeking out from behind my tail. Two feet, one white and one black (paws, I would have to get used to that) appeared in my line of vision, and I slid back even further as two more white paws followed by a head peered under the car. I think I might have hissed at him, because he retreated almost immediately, and the other cat spoke up from behind him.

"Back up a bit, Lonz, she's probably scared enough without you making it any worse."

I barely registered the words, as I was afraid, for whatever reason, and I was curious to know how he knew I was a girl, but then I realized it was probably the same way I had known they were cats; by smell. The white cat, who was apparently called Lonz, backed a few steps away from the car, and the grey cat's head replaced him. I hissed at him, too, but he didn't seem fazed by it, and instead reached a paw out towards me.

"It's alright," he said softly, and I could feel my lips pulled back, exposing my tiny, but sharp, teeth.

"No one is going to hurt you," he continue softly, though I knew he was probably just saying that.

Here I was, a human-turned-cat, lost in the middle of who knows where, hiding under a car from two strange cats. All I wanted to do was go home, to be lying in my bed as though it were all a dream. And he had the nerve to tell me that everything was alright!

"No!" I cried, the sound of my voice startling both me and him. "No, it's not alright." I glared, and he retreated slightly, looking concerned.

"Look, I know you're probably just lost and scared, but it really is alright. Or, at least, it's going to be." He tried to smile at me reassuringly, and I hissed at him again. He sighed, and his mouth formed a grim smile.

"I see I'm going about this the wrong way," he said.

"You think?" I snapped, not sure where my anger was coming from, but clinging to it desperately in the hopes that it would banish the fear.

"Let's try names." He continued, holding out his hand as though expecting me to shake it. I eyed him warily, and he nodded at me encouragingly.

I took it, and he smiled. "The name's Munkustrap," he said proudly, and I jerked back immediately.

"Munkustrap?" I stammered, then groaned inwardly. Of course it was. How stupid could I be? I mean, it's not that people randomly turn into cats every day, but really? 'Cats'?

"You know, it would be a lot easier if you came out from under the car," Lonz said, and I realized that it must be Alonzo, if this were Munkustrap. Deciding that I'd best face this head on, I crawled out from under the car and stood on all four legs, before pushing myself up onto my feet.

"Well isn't that nice," Alonzo said, grinning at me and holding out his hand/paw as well.

"I'm Alonzo," he said, and though I was a little slow to take his hand he continued smiling at me eagerly, like I was some kind of present for him to open.

"Ok, so now that we have that out of the way," Munkustrap cut in. "How did you get here?"

"That is a good question," I said, nodding my head at him. "But I don't really know where 'here' is to say."

"Here as in this street or...?" Alonzo trailed off, his tone suggesting that the other option was somewhere much larger.

"Um, both?" I answered, and he exchanged a look with Munkustrap.

"Um, well currently," Alonzo said slowly. "We are at the corner of Queens and Curzon, just outside Berkley Square…in London," He said it all as if I should know it, but I only stared at him blankly, shock coloring my voice as I choked out:

"L-london?"

"You're not from around here, are you?" Munkustrap asked, staring at me cautiously.

"You could say that," I muttered. He was still giving me that wary look, like the one he gives in the musical when he discovers someone who's never heard of a Jellicle cat.

"Maybe we should take her to the Junkyard," Alonzo suggested, though both he and Munkustrap seemed less than thrilled about the idea. I shifted nervously, unsure of what to do. I was dying to see the Junkyard, especially now that I was a cat; who knew what kinds of secret spaces and hiding spots were in that place? But I also wanted to get home, and I was afraid that if I went to the Junkyard, I would end up staying there indefinitely. Which, was arguably not a bad thing, but still, I had my family to think about.

At that moment, a low rumble sounded in the distance. I looked up, thinking it was a truck, but there were no other cars on the street, other than the ones parked in driveways or on the side of the road. Something cold hit my face, and I started violently, looking around to see what it was, but there was nothing. Munkustrap and Alonzo were talking quietly a few feet away from me, every now and then casting anxious looks in my direction. Another cold splash on my face, and I realized that it was raining.

Of course it was.

I was about to call out to the two cats, but a crash of thunder and a sudden downpour of rain alerted them rather quickly to the impending storm. Alonzo looked over at Munkustrap, a wry grin twisting his lips.

"Well, I guess that settles that, then."

Munkustrap scowled, but didn't say anything, simply nodding at me to follow him. I made to do so, but then stopped as something in my peripheral vision caught my eye. I turned to look across the street, and felt my hair stand on end as a flash of lightning illuminated the shadowy form. It was another cat, that was obvious enough, and although I couldn't make out any features, I could feel eyes on me. Another flash, and the cat was gone, though his presence still lingered, and I shivered involuntarily.

I turned and jogged a few paces, before throwing myself forward onto all four feet to run awkwardly to try and catch up to Alonzo, who trailed along behind Munkustrap, both Toms moving rather quickly in an effort to get out of the rain as fast as possible. I managed to keep pace alongside Alonzo, and after what felt like hours, but was really only minutes, Munkustrap came to a stop just outside a line of shops. He turned to Alonzo before looking past him to me, then he spoke up.

"I'll go in first," he said. "Then…" he paused a moment, his brow furrowing slightly as he looked at me. "You know," he chuckled a bit. "I don't even know your name."

I froze, the one question I was dreading answering and had yet to think of an answer to. I thought of the song, about cats having three different names and I zoned out a bit, the chant ringing in my ears and names swirling through my head. I couldn't use my name, no I think Kayla sounded too human, and it would be weird. I struggled to think of a suitable name, tried to think of something meaningful, but nothing came to me. I wasn't even aware of the rain or the other cats with me until Alonzo spoke up.

"Uh, Munk?" He said, shoving wet fur out of his face. "Maybe once we get inside?" He nodded meaningfully towards something past Munkustrap that I couldn't see. Munkustrap straightened in surprise, glancing over at me as he realized I was soaked and shivering.

"Right." He said, nodding his head. "Alright, well I'll go first, then you," he nodded at me. "Then 'Lonz, you'll come behind."

With that he turned and ducked under an arch, dropping to his feet and crawling through a small pipe that I hadn't seen until he was halfway through it. I eyed it warily, before glancing back at Alonzo for confirmation.

"Go on," he said. "Watch your head." He added as I started to crawl through.

I ducked my head as he had warned, and carefully made my way through the pipe. It smelled like I thought a pipe would; slightly coppery and metallic, but it was also full of the scents of cats, so many different cats that I couldn't distinguish one scent from the other. As I walked through, the sound of the rain began to dim, though I could still hear it if I tried hard enough.

Up ahead, I could see the end of the pipe, a small circle of light indicating I was reaching my destination. My heart sped up a bit, and I felt a thrill of excitement in my stomach. I was really here! I was really a cat, about to enter the Junkyard, about to meet all my favorite Cats and explore one of the best fantasy places of musicals.

A wave of dizziness suddenly hit me, and I stopped short as the light at the end of the tunnel flickered before disappearing completely. Images flashed in front of my eyes so fast I couldn't comprehend them, and one emotion accompanied the images. Anger. Overwhelming and intense anger. The images stopped, and the dizziness was gone, leaving me with a pair of piercing green eyes and a dark voice whispering in my ear. I tried to shake it off, focusing on reaching the end of the tunnel and trying not to think about the disturbing moment.

Voices sounded from the light as I neared it and crawled through it, and as my eyes adjusted, the first thing I saw was Munkustrap, standing a few feet away from me. He was surrounded by a fairly large group of cats, and a slightly smaller group of kittens, who were rubbing against his legs and swatting at his tail playfully. I recognized each cat almost instantly, and they noticed me as soon as I stood up, and I saw ears go back, tails twitch, a few teeth exposed. I hesitated, backing up into Alonzo who had just come through the pipe behind me.

"Sorry," I said, looking back at him, but he simply smiled and gently pushed me forward towards Munkustrap, who was reaching out a hand/paw to bring me into the group.

The kittens all surrounded me curiously, a few tentatively sniffing me, and one bold kitten with a patch over his eye, who I couldn't tell if it was Pouncival of Tumblebrutus, swiped at my tail. The cats eyed me warily, none of them seeming as eager as the kittens to welcome me. I looked into familiar faces, faces I knew but at the same time, didn't know. I was about to speak up, maybe say hi or something, but Munkustrap beat me to it.

"This is the cat I was talking about." He said to the group, bringing me even closer into the circle. "Alonzo and I found her on our way back from patrolling, on Queen Street."

"How did you find her?" One of the cats asked. I couldn't see who spoke, or recognize the voice.

"She was hiding under a car," Alonzo helpfully supplied, and I inwardly shrunk a bit, slightly embarrassed by my fight or flight reaction.

"What were you doing under a car?" One of the kittens, who I recognized as Etcetera, asked. I could tell from the expressions of some of the cats that the same question was in their heads, though some might not have asked it so nicely.

"Well you tell me that you wouldn't hide too if you were lost and ran into two strange cats." I retorted, and I saw a few of the adults relax a little at my response and at finally hearing me talk. I got a few smiles, and I smiled back, albeit a bit shyly.

"What's your name then, dear?" A kind female voice spoke from my right. I looked to see who had spoken, and recognized the orange, spotted and striped tabby as Jennyanydots.

It was the dreaded question again, and I still had no way to answer it. I thought hard, trying to think of a suitable name. I remembered the chant, '..a cat must have 3 different names. First of all, there's the name that the family use daily, such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James...' Well, my family called Kayla, which was my given name, though some friends call me Kay, but that doesn't count. Then my godmother calls me Bree, don't ask me where she got the name, I don't know, but I guess that's my second name. 'But there's still one name left over." The chant whispered in my ear. 'The one that no human research can recover, but the cat himself knows...'

I noticed some smirks and knowing looks from the group as I remained in 'rapt contemplation of the thought of my name.' But there were a few doubtful glances exchanged, and I knew I'd have to think of something soon. I thought about making it meaningful, and somehow ended up thinking of the things I liked, which included Greek mythology and then I remembered one of my favorite myths, the one about...

"Persephone." I said aloud, and I saw a pair of ears prick up when I spoke. "My name is Persephone."

Munkustrap looked rather pleased at the name, as though he had come up with it himself, but he smiled and I smiled back, then glanced around at the rest of the group, who were also looking rather pleased, a few nodding in approval, as though I had passed some kind of test. Alonzo came up beside me to lead me further into the group, about to begin introductions, but then Etcetera spoke up again.

"Persephone?" Her nose was scrunched in a funny way. "That's kinda long, how about 'Sephonie?"

"Or Seffy?" Victoria spoke up for the first time, rather shyly.

"I like Sephonie better," Etcetera declared, but Electra wrinkled her nose.

"It sounds like Stephanie," she protested, and they proceeded to argue about my name, while the rest of us looked on in amusement.

"Alright, come along," a ginger tom stepped forward from the adults, waving his hands/paws at the kittens to shoo them away. "That's quite enough now," he added firmly, pausing to cast a look towards Electra and Etcetera, who were still bickering.

He herded the kittens away, and some of the other adults had also begun to scatter, and I realized just how dark it was, the lights having gotten brighter since we arrived. The few adults who remained were all easily recognizable, but I allowed Munkustrap to introduce them to me anyway. Bombalurina and Demeter, the mystic twins, Coricopat and Tantomile, and Jellylorum.

"Is this everyone?" I asked, even though I knew full well that it wasn't.

"Uh, no," Alonzo said. "There are quite a few others, and the tribe leader, Old Deuteronomy. You'll meet him at some point," he assured me.

"And of course," he added with a smirk. "You'll have to meet the Rum Tum Tugger."

Munkustrap rolled his eyes, shaking his head in slight disgruntlement at the mention of the cat. I chuckled to myself, nodding as I pictured the infamous Maine Coon.

"Oh yeah," I said. "I know him."

"You know Tugger?" Munkustrap asked skeptically, and I realized my mistake.

"Well, I mean," I tried to cover. "I know _of_ him. He has quite the reputation."

"That is true," Alonzo agreed, nodding his head, still smirking. "We'll have to let him know about you."

I tried to protest, to think of some other excuse, but they had already moved on to continue introducing me to the other cats. After their introductions the cats began to separate towards their dens, except for Demeter and Bombalurina.

Demeter eyed me warily, looking like she was trying to decide if I was real or not. She might have come up and said hello, but as she moved to do so, Bombalurina stepped forward, cutting Demeter off and making her way towards me. She moved gracefully even when she walked, but her attitude was anything but. She frowned, her eyes cold as she stood in front of me, looking me up and down critically. She started to pace around me, so close she brushed against my shoulder as she passed. I was reminded of the way she confronted Grizabella when she had arrived, and the way I had shivered just watching it, thinking that I would hate to be on the receiving end of such a move.

And now here I was, shivering for real, actually confronted with that same cold Queen, and I was more than relieved when she finally moved back towards Demeter, glancing back at me one final time before walking away. Demeter cast me an apologetic look before running off after her. I released a shaky breath, looking over at Munkustrap, who was frowning slightly as he stared after the retreating cats.

"Ah, don't worry about her," Alonzo said dismissively, grinning at me. "Bomba's always like that."

"Really?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Well, once you get to know her she lightens up a bit," he added with a shrug.

Munkustrap sighed, and I noticed a sort of wistful look in his eyes as he turned towards us. "She's been through a lot," he explained. "They both have." His gaze shifted towards Demeter, and Alonzo cleared his throat slightly, nodding his head in my direction pointedly as he spoke.

"Maybe we should see about finding a place for her to sleep?" he said, and Munkustrap started slightly.

"Right, well, the twins said they were willing to let her stay with them in their den, at least until we find an empty den for her to use."

An empty den? I thought. I was excited about being here, I mean, how often can someone say they had a chance to become a cat and live in the Junkyard? But I still intended to find a way to get back home. For my own sanity, I tried not to think of home, but the feelings of homesickness were already beginning to creep in. Before my emotions could get too out of hand, a black streak suddenly leapt out in front of me.

"Well well," a low, silky voice said. "What do we have here?

I found myself facing none other than the Rum Tum Tugger, a light smirk playing on his lips as he started at me interestedly.

"Tugger," Munkustrap said with a groan.

"Aren't you going to introduce me?" He asked, his eyes never leaving me.

"Oh, Tugger!" Alonzo said suddenly, and his attention was briefly diverted to the other Tom. "This is Persephone, she said she knew you."

"Of you," I stammered desperately as Tugger's brows furrowed in confusion. "I know of you."

"Yes, well." Tugger chuckled, a sound somewhere like a light bellow, a pleasant, rumbling sound that stuck with me and made me never want to stop hearing it.

"I believe I would have remembered an encounter with someone like her," Tugger said as he looked back over at me, his eyes bright as he stared. I realized rather uncomfortably that his eyes had never once met mine; instead they were travelling over my body, and I shifted nervously under his gaze.

"Tugger," Munkustrap spoke up, noticing my unease. "We have to get Persephone to her den." His gaze was pointed as he glared at the Tom, and Tugger smiled broadly, his eyes finally flicking up to meet mine, and I saw they were a rich, chocolate color, with flecks of gold that perfectly highlighted the gold in his mane.

"A shame," he said softly, clicking his tongue in disappointment. "I look forward to getting to know you better, Persephone." The way he said my name caused me to shiver involuntarily, and he winked at me before swaggering away, his tail swishing lightly against his ankles.

I stood for a moment, slightly dazed, and I blinked a few times to try and get rid of the muddled feeling in my head. Alonzo was laughing at me, and I turned towards him, slightly breathless as I spoke.

"Ok, does he have some kind of magical ability to charm people?" I asked, only half joking as I pointed in the direction he had gone.

Munkustrap allowed a smile to flash across his face. "No, he doesn't. Believe me, we've checked."

I thought he was joking, but Alonzo nodded in affirmation. "Yep, the twins confirmed it, he has no magical ability whatsoever. I guess he's just naturally charming."

"I don't know if charming is the word I'd use," I said quietly.

"Neither would I," Munkustrap said, and we exchanged another smile as we once again headed towards Coricopat and Tantomile's den.

The twins' den was a large cabinet, like the kind a TV would sit in. The space where a TV would go was empty, and the glass door of the cabinet was gone as well, an open space displaying shelves full of books. The doors along the bottom of the cabinet were open, and I could see that the walls had been taken out of the separate compartments, making the den into one large room.

We went inside without knocking, and I was struck by just how clean everything was. The floor was covered in a fluffy, light blue rug, and there was a small table in the very center of the room. There were three chairs around the table, and along one wall was another shelf full of books. I stared in awe at the collection, then once again surveyed the room. There was a smaller cabinet inside the den, which I assumed contained food, and two small, plush beds laid side by side underneath a hollowed out space in the bookshelf that I hadn't noticed the first time around. Nothing was out of place, and everything was spotless, and I marveled once again at the cleanness of it all.

"Yes, it is very clean." A voice spoke up quietly, sounding right in my ear. I jumped violently, turning around to see one of the twins standing behind me. I realized after a moment of starting that it was Coricopat, and I let out my breath in a rush of relief, though I was suspicious as to how he knew that was what I was thinking, unless it was a similar reaction among other people who first entered their den.

"It needs to be clean for the use of our magic," Coricopat continued, in that same quiet voice. "Can't have things lying around, for if a spell were to misfire, it would take out everything in a hurricane."

"That, and he's just a clean freak," Tantomile said with a smile as she came up alongside Coricopat. Her entrance was just as sudden, but not as startling, since I was able to see her approach. She brushed against her brother's shoulder, shoving him off balance.

"Cori, don't be rude," she admonished lightly, and he gave her a look before turning his attention back to me.

"I don't know if we were really introduced properly," I said nervously. "I'm Persephone." I thought about holding out my hand, but was stopped short by Coricopat.

"No, that's not it," he said, his gaze searching as he stared at me. "But if you wish to keep your true name hidden, that is alright, too."

"Uh…." I was taken aback, and the nervousness increased as I felt Munkustrap's eyes on the back of my head.

"Cori!" Tantomile scolded. "You're being rude again."

He had the decency to look ashamed as she continued. "It's not polite to read people's minds without their permission."

"He, what?" I asked, flustered, yet somehow not as surprised as I should have been to know that the twins could read people's minds.

Tantomile was still glaring at Coricopat, and I figured they must have been having some kind of silent conversation that only they could hear. Finally Tantomile spoke up, her eyes not leaving her brother's, even as she spoke to me.

"Coricopat is sorry," she said firmly, narrowing her eyes at him. "And he says that…"

"That I'll be more careful whose minds I read, and ask before I do." He finished, narrowing his eyes in a way that perfectly matched his sister's. Tantomile nodded once, satisfied, before both of them turned simultaneously to face the rest of us.

"Are you sure it's alright if she stays here?" Munkustrap asked, concern etched in his features as he glanced between the two cats.

"Of course," Tantomile said, her smile widening, but not quite to the point of showing her teeth. "We'd be happy to have you Persephone." She looked at me, and her smile immediately put me at ease.

"Alright then," Munkustrap said. "If you're sure."

"We'll be heading out then," Alonzo said, nodding his head at the twins before bowing a little to me. He left the den without much more of a goodbye, and Munkustrap nodded as well before leaving, and I was alone with the mystic twins.


	3. that awkward moment when

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while since I've updated, life got in the way. Thanks to Evelyn Knight for the reviews! In answer to your question, no I have not met Mistoffolees yet, but I will soon. I don't know yet if he can or is able to help me, but I'm sure I'll find out. :)**

 **There's a bit of foreshadowing here, as well as a warning for some *mild* violence. Nothing graphic, so no worries, but it is there.**

 **Hope you all enjoy this chapter, and don't forget to let me know what you think in the reviews!**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

There was a brief moment of awkward silence as I stood in the middle of the den, both cats scrutinizing me; one thoughtfully and the other curiously. Finally, Tantomile spoke up, offering to show me a tour of the den, and I obliged, simply to escape the awkwardness. The tour was short, but she showed me to a separate room off the main den, which I hadn't noticed before and was accessed through one of the side doors of the cabinet. The room had a similar fluffy carpet in it, although this one was green, and a small pile of blankets were thrown in one corner, and another small bookshelf lined one wall.

"Sorry about the mess," Tantomile said, indicating the blankets. "We don't use this room often, but we keep it in case of guests." She smiled at me. "So you'll be sleeping here, until you find your den. You'll like it though, don't worry."

I realized that she wasn't talking about the room, but about me liking my den. I was just about to question it when she suddenly straightened, her smile fading from her face as a look of concentration crossed her features. She took a deep breath, as though smelling something, and her eyes closed for a moment before opening again, and her smile was back, though it seemed a bit forced.

"You have visitors," she said when she noticed my curious look, and she opened the door and entered the main room of the den again. I followed, a little hesitantly, and was even more so when I saw who it was.

Bombalurina stood just inside the door of the den, leaning against the wall with her arms and legs crossed over each other and frowning at me. Demeter stood next to one of the bookshelves, interestedly flipping through a bright red book. When she noticed I was there, she straightened nervously, the book falling from her hands. It didn't fall far before Coricopat made a flicking motion with one his hands and the book returned to its original spot on the shelf.

"Hi," Demeter said, a slight smile on her face.

"Hello," I said slowly, slightly wary, and a little stunned by the display of magic.

"Um, I don't think we got a chance to meet properly," she continued nervously. Her eyes shifted over to Bombalurina, who was still scowling by the door.

"No, not really," I agreed ruefully, wondering why she was here.

"Right," she said with a slight laugh, shifting her weight. "I just wanted to...I mean, I wasn't sure if..."

Bombalurina made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat. "Oh for crying out loud," she muttered to herself before uncrossing her legs to stand up and walk forward.

"Our mother's name was Persephone, and Demeter wanted to see if you had some kind of connection to her, since you share the same name." She said it in a bit of a rush, almost as though she were angry at me, and her glare seemed to indicate that somehow it was my fault.

"Oh," I said, surprised and slightly affronted by her attitude. I glanced back over at Demeter, who was looking simultaneously crushed and hopeful. "I'm sorry, no. I don't know any other cats named Persephone, or what happened to your mother."

Bomba looked away, her body tensing, and I realized we had reached a sensitive subject. Even the twins looked tense, the two of them casting anxious glances between the three of us and each other. My head was spinning again, and I fought to ignore it and focus on what was happening.

"Do you mind if I ask," I began carefully, waiting a moment for my dizziness to subside before continuing. "What happened to her?"

"She's dead." Bomba said firmly, bitterness in her voice. Demeter looked pained, and I could see a similar expression in her sister's face.

"I'm sorry," I said, hoping I sounded as sincere as I felt. "I didn't know; I never would have brought it up if..."

I fell silent at the look Bomba was sending my way, but Demeter simply shook her head, her lips pursed.

"It's not your fault," she said quietly.

"I'm the one who asked," I said, but she smiled at me.

"You were just curious," she said, and I found myself smiling back at her, though the moment was cut short by Bombalurina's next words.

"Curiosity killed the cat," she said coldly, in a detached sort of way, and it was as though someone had sucked the air out of the room.

My head seemed to explode with images again, and I could see Demeter's face before me again, only different; younger somehow, and full of horror. There was a lot of red, and I had a horrible suspicion it was blood. Demeter's face flashed before my eyes again, accompanied with feelings of possessiveness, anger, and glee. Then there was a new face, a face that was somewhat familiar, and pain, grief, unimaginable loss, then a voice that sent chills down my spine saying 'Curiosity killed the cat.' The familiar face reappeared, followed by a whispered answer.

'But satisfaction brought it back.'

'Not this time,' the cold voice said, and then there was a flash, green eyes, and a horrible scream.

I gasped, choking slightly in my panic over what I had seen. I was vaguely aware of voices, and hands on my shoulders, and a gut twisting feeling like I was going to be sick.

Immediately there was a bucket in my hands, and I barely managed to lean over before I gagged, choking again as I tried to catch my breath. The bucket disappeared as soon as I had finished, and I was grateful to whoever had brought it.

"Are you alright?" Demeter's face came into view, concern and worry wrinkling her brow. There was another brief flash, the green eyes and the cold voice echoing in the back of my mind before fading away.

"Yeah," I lied, trying and failing to smile at her. "Yeah just a little dizzy."

"You screamed." Bombalurina said bluntly, raising an eyebrow from her previous position by the door.

"That was me?" I said, thinking about the scream I had heard, although something told me it hadn't been my own. It was too awful to be something I had produced.

"Maybe we should give her some space," Demeter suggested to her, and Bomba was all too eager to oblige, slinking out the door without a backward glance. Demeter looked hesitant, but at least said goodbye to me and apologized before jogging out of the den.

It was just me and the twins again, and now I felt even more nervous than before, wondering what they were going to say. Tantomile was standing over by the bookshelf, a red book in her hands similar to the one Demeter had had earlier. She stared at me as though trying to figure out a puzzle, and Coricopat had a similar expression on his face from his place beside me.

"What did you see?" He asked me, interest coloring his tone.

"What do you mean?" I asked him, though I knew very well what he meant.

"This has happened before." He said it with certainty; a statement instead of a question. "You've had these visons before; what did you see?"

"Cori," Tantomile said, a warning in her voice as her eyes flickered briefly across the book's page before returning to meet mine.

"I…" I debated telling him the truth, but the green eyes seemed to haunt me, dangerous and foreboding, and something told me it wouldn't be a good idea to mention it.

"Nothing." I finally said. "It was nothing." I looked him in the eye, making sure he knew I was determined not to tell him anything. He looked about ready to protest, but then he caught himself, nodding his head grimly as he stood and then helped me to my feet as well.

"It's late, anyway," he said, as though the issue had been removed from his mind. "We should all be getting to sleep. Tomorrow you can meet the rest of the tribe."

"As long as I don't run into Tugger or Bomba again," I muttered, and Tantomile's eyes twinkled mischievously, and Coricopat looked slightly amused.

"Really?" I said, my tone pitching on a whine. "Who is it then? Tugger? Or…" My voice trailed off as I watched them exchange a glance, and I bit back a curse, groaning inwardly. "Both?" I said, and the twins starting laughing, though they stopped at my unamused expression.

"Come on," Tantomile said, extending a hand to me. "Let's get you ready for bed."

I nodded mutely, allowing her to lead me to my room as the lingering images of the vision played in the back of my mind. I tried to shove them away, and though I partially succeeded, the green eyes refused to go away. I went and laid down and burrowed myself in the pile of blankets that Tantomile was trying to conjure away, and she smiled at my attempts to apologize when I realized what I'd done. She told me it would be fine for the night, and they'd bring in the spare bed for the next night.

Satisfied that I was settled, Tantomile left with a soft smile and a murmured, "Sleep well." Then the door closed, and I was alone in a dark room by myself.

I think it's only fair to mention, I'm afraid of the dark. And though I panicked for a little while, I realized soon enough that as a cat, I had night vision, so it was like everything was tinted in a weird light. But it was light, and I could see, so I was ok. And apparently, I was also exhausted, for I was already half asleep.

I was about to lay my head down when I heard the door crack open, and the soft voices of Coricopat and Tantomile, softened even further by their whispers.

"What are you thinking Cori?" Tantomile asked.

He was silent for a moment before answering. "You already know what I'm thinking," he said, not unkindly.

"I know," she said. "I just wanted to hear you say it."

He made a humming noise in the back of his throat, and there was silence again until he spoke. "She confuses me," he admitted, and he sounded like he didn't like being confused. I forced myself to lie still, feigning sleep, and I even sighed a little to add to the effect.

"I couldn't see her thoughts," he said, sounding frustrated and just a little fearful.

"What do you mean?" Tantomile said, and I could tell by the sound of movement that she had turned to face him. "You saw the secret about her name, which I still think was rude of you," she continued, scolding lightly.

"Yes, but when Demeter and Bombalurina arrived and she had that vision…"

"Do you think she's a mystic?" Tantomile interrupted, a hint of eagerness in her words.

"No," Coricopat said immediately, and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of hurt at the abruptness with which he said it. "No, but there's something about her." His voice trailed off in thought before he continued. "It just doesn't feel right."

"Do you think…?" Tantomile left the question unfinished, but she put stress on the silent part of her sentence, and I knew without anything being said what she was asking.

"I don't know," Coricopat said, and his voice rose just a touch with frustration. "I can't see anything," he continued.

"The vision." Tantomile reminded him gently, and I could almost picture him nodding as he spoke again.

"Whatever Bomba said triggered it," Coricopat said. "But I couldn't see anything of what she saw, and even afterwards, I couldn't see anything."

"Should you have been able to?" Tantomile asked gently. "You know it's unpredictable, maybe it wasn't her so much as…"

"No," Coricopat said, and I could hear the frown in his tone. "It should have worked. And it did earlier, but then…" he hesitated a moment before finishing. "There was a block."

There was silence in the room, like a switch had been thrown and suddenly everything was quiet. My side was aching from staying in that one position so long, and I dared to shift my weight, rolling over carefully onto my other side so I was now facing them. I cracked an eye open, and could just make out the two dark forms of the twins standing side by side.

"A block," Tantomile finally said, and I could hear the concern in her voice. "Placed there or do you think she…?"

"No, it was placed." Coricopat said darkly. "Whoever put it up did it with the intention that there would be no way in. No secrets revealed or identities. Security of sorts."

"But who would do something like that?" Tantomile asked. "And more importantly, why?"

"I think we both know who would be capable of such a thing," Coricopat said. "As for why, well, I suppose we'll just have to wait and see."

"Should we tell the others?"

"Not yet. I think, we should let Munkustrap know, and keep an eye on her, just to be safe."

"Her safety, or ours?" Tantomile asked firmly. The door closed again, the question still hanging in the air, unanswered.


	4. and so into the abyss

**Hey guys, sorry it's been a while since I updated. I've been working on my other fics as well as preparing for college and stuff, so I apologize if I've kept any of you waiting in suspense.** **Thank you for your interest in the story, and for your reviews and favorites. It means a lot to hear from you and know you like what I'm doing.**

 **To Evelyn Knight, yes my name is the same as Demeter and Bomba's mother, and the significance of that will be revealed later on. All I can say is, if you know anything of the Greek myths surrounding the character of Persephone, you'll have some idea. ;)**

 **To HumanGuineapig, thank you so much for your interest in my story and I can't say how amazing it is for me that you are reading my story let alone reviewing on it. Total fangirl moment here, but I've been following your stories since I was still Just a Guest and didn't have my own account.**

 **Anyway, on to the story! This chapter is a bit shorter, so I will also be posting chapter 5 along with it, to help tide you guys over until I next update. A bit more foreshadowing here, also some POTO references for you.** **Mild violence but nothing graphic, so no worries.**

 **Hope you guys enjoy and don't forget to review! I should have the next chapter up shortly.**

 **\- Raven**

I lay in the dark a moment after they had left, thinking over their words. I registered the fear in Coricopat's voice, the way he acted as though I was something dangerous because he couldn't see my thoughts. I thought about just telling them what I had seen, but I was afraid that what little trust (or mistrust) there was would be ruined if I did. I sighed, rolling over and frowning at the wall. I would just have to show them that I wasn't something to be feared. But how to do that? And how to get back home?

These questions were all swirling through my head as I closed my eyes, and just before I fell asleep, I thought that maybe being a cat for a while wasn't such a bad thing after all. The next thing I knew, I was asleep.

Then the nightmare started.

When I opened my eyes, I was met with darkness. I expected it at first, at least until my eyes adjusted, but they never did. The room was completely dark, so complete that not even my cat eyes could see through it.

"Oh, but you're not a cat, my dear." A voice said suddenly out of the darkness, seeming to come from everywhere at once.

"At least, not here."

The voice was right by my ear, silky smooth and yet cold and rough all at the same time. I turned, but couldn't see anything, which only served to add to my terror.

"What do you mean, I'm not a cat?" I called out, grateful that my voice didn't shake as badly as I thought it would. "Who are you?"

"You know who I am."

I felt a thrill of fear in my stomach, a vise seeming to squeeze the air out of my chest.

"What do you want with me?" I tried a different approach, still vainly straining my eyes to try and see.

The voice clicked its tongue in disapproval.

"All in good time. Just be patient."

I turned again, the voice right behind me this time, and I reached out a hand, but my fingers grasped thin air. A low laugh echoed in the blackness, and I shivered, bringing my hands up to hold my arms.

"In answer to your first question," the voice said suddenly, and I could tell that its owner was now pacing around me, and I turned in a circle, following it in order to keep it away from my back. "In this place, all enchantments and magic is stripped away. Useless.

"And what exactly is 'this place'?" I asked, a hint of irritation coming through in my tone.

"Temper temper," the voice growled, and the anger that suddenly flared up in it seemed to lash out at me like a blow. "I would be more polite to me, if I were you."

The anger was gone in that last sentence, but something even more dangerous and undefinable replaced it, and I couldn't help the small whimper that escaped me. I sought to cover it up with a laugh, and crossed my arms fully across my chest, which I could feel was my own and not covered with fur.

"And why would I be polite to my kidnapper?" I snapped, lifting my chin defiantly.

One moment, I was standing upright, the next, I was on my knees, pain tearing through every cell of my body and iron settling in my lungs. I gasped, tears filling my eyes as I shuddered and heaved, desperately trying to take a breath of air that wasn't there. My head spun, the pain unbearable, and I knew I would have been screaming if I'd been able to. As it was, I screamed mentally, incoherent apologies and pleading racing through my thoughts. Then just as suddenly as it started, the attack stopped, and I once more found myself on my feet, though I was shaking violently, my teeth chattering together as I trembled.

"THAT is why," the voice said, anger flaring up again before softening, though the quiet threat in its tone made me feel sick. I was shaking even harder now, and I desperately fought to not break down completely.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered, my voice sounding pitiful even to my own ears. "I'm sorry, I won't do it again."

"I know you won't." The voice purred darkly, any soothing quality to it paling in the light of the danger just below the surface.

I swallowed hard against the lump rising in my throat, then realized it wasn't a lump in my throat, but rather a hand, cold fingers wrapped around my neck. I felt a tear slip down my cheek, and a finger brush against my skin, wiping it away. I flinched violently, trying and failing to jerk away from the grip around my throat.

"You are mine," The voice hissed, and I felt warm breath on my face, and even through my closed eyes and the darkness beyond, I could see a pair of piercing green eyes boring into me. "And you will help me bring the Junkyard to its knees."


	5. stars and feels and porches, oh my!

**Hey guys! Hope this isn't too late for you, I know I promised this chapter sooner. Anyway, here it is. It's a bit lighter from the last chapter, and there's some more foreshadowing/backstory here.**

 **Do bear in mind, this is my own head canon, and so may not fall in like with what you guys might have for your own head canons. Since there is no 'real' canon, we all have to make do with what we've got, and this is what I've got, so I hope you enjoy. ;)**

 **No warnings apply here, so you are safe. I hope you guys enjoy the chapter, I should have the next one up for you guys in about a week or so, but that all depends on life. Bear with me. :)**

 **Don't forget to review!**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

I woke with a scream lodged in my throat, my body frozen in terror. I nearly sobbed with relief when I realized that I could see again, and that I was still in one piece. The door suddenly flew open, and I tensed, my fur standing on end as I turned to face the new threat, but it was only the twins, matching expressions of worry on their faces.

"Are you alright?" Tantomile asked, kneeling down by my side and reaching out.

I gaped, my mouth working like a fish, but no sound came out. Tantomile moved to loosen my hands from the bed sheet, and once she had, she took one of them in her own, her eyes closing as she drew in a deep breath. Almost immediately I felt my fear begin to fade, and I noticed that I was still shaking violently. Another breath, and I blinked, warmth spreading over me and easing the shaking. One final breath, and I felt myself relax, and Tantomile opened her eyes.

"It was just a dream," Tantomile told me reassuringly, nodding her head gently as though to further convince me.

I shook my head, swallowing hard and bringing my free hand up to my throat. I could still feel the cold fingers, hear the laughter and see those dark green eyes that refused to let me go.

 _Macavity_.

My voice still hadn't returned, but my lips silently formed the name anyway. I felt Tantomile stiffen, and she exchanged a glance with Coricopat, who instantly moved to crouch next to her. She took her hand from mine, and I mourned the loss of comfort, but Coricopat's soon replaced it. His hand wasn't nearly as warm as his sister's had been, but that thought was soon banished from my mind as he drew a breath, and I winced as a stab of pain went through my skull.

Instantly he released me, and stood, staring down at me with a thoughtful frown on his face. Tantomile gave me a grim smile, squeezing my had a final time before standing as well and moving next to her brother.

"What is it?" She whispered to him, concern etched into her features.

"It's the block, isn't it?" I asked, my voice finally returning. Both siblings turned their heads to look at me in surprise, but I continued.

"I overheard you talking earlier." I said, looking at Coricopat. "That's what you said; that M- that He had put up some kind of mental block."

I couldn't bring myself to say the name. I thought it ironic; I had usually been with Hermione when everyone was so afraid to say You-know-who's name, and she had lectured them all. 'Fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself.' Funny how I had always agreed with her, but now here I was, cowering in a corner in terror of letting slip one syllable of the name, afraid that he would know, that he would appear out of nowhere, like a trained demon, summoned at the very sound of his name.

"Yes," Coricopat's voice brought me out of my thoughts. "He did. Or at least, that's what we believe."

Tantomile pressed her mouth into a thin line, as though she were about to say something terrifying and was trying to find a way to say it in a way that made it less terrifying. I shifted uncomfortably at the look she was giving me, and finally threw the blankets off of me, standing up and stretching out my stiff legs.

"I think I'm going to take a walk for a bit." I told them, forcing myself to ignore the looks they gave each other.

"Are you sure?" Coricopat began, but I cut him off, shrugging indifferently.

"I'll be fine." I said. "I won't go far, I just, have to think for a bit."

He nodded, and I stepped past him and through the den until I reached the cabinet door. I took a deep breath of the cool air once I stepped outside, grateful to be free of the tense atmosphere. I picked my carefully through the unfamiliar junkyard, mindful of the pieces of junk that looked like they could be other cats' homes. Once I had reached a relatively clear spot, I stopped, looking up at the stars and trying to see if I recognized any. I really only knew one, Orion, which a friend had pointed out to me once. Even though he was the only constellation I knew, I drew comfort from him every time I saw him, and looked forward to clear nights when I could go out and look for him.

"Nice night for a walk, huh?" An amused voice spoke up somewhere next to me, its suddenness causing me to jump a foot.

I turned to see none other than the Rum Tum Tugger leaning casually against a broken wooden chair, his dark eyes boring into me intently.

"Tugger!" I gasped, drawing in a relieved breath. "Geez, don't _do_ that! Scared me half to death!"

He laughed at me, that deep, bell-like laugh that with anyone else would have sounded awful, but with him was perfect. Still chuckling, he stepped away from the chair and closer to me, until we were almost touching, and then turned to look up at the sky.

"What were you looking for?" He asked me, his voice softer now, and I felt myself struggling to form words into coherent sentences.

"Uh...Orion," I finally managed to choke out, and Tugger frowned in concentration before raising a hand.

"There he is," he said, and looking where he pointed I could see that sure enough, there was Orion, peeking out from behind a tree branch, his signature three star belt shining brightly on display.

"Wow," I said, impressed at both seeing the familiar constellation, and at Tugger's ability.

"Anything else?" Tugger asked smoothly, and suddenly I couldn't think of any other constellations.

"How about my favorite?" He asked, and I nodded mutely, watching as his eyes flicked across the sky before settling firmly on another shape. His hand shot up again, and he said, "There."

I frowned, squinting as I tried to make out the shape in the stars, and I heard Tugger make a disappointed noise. "The Pegasus," he informed me, and even though I could see something, I definitely did not see a winged horse.

"Um..."I said, embarrassed.

Tugger took hold of my shoulders and turned me in a circle, so I was now facing the opposite direction, and he moved himself with me, before pressing on my shoulders.

"Lie down," he told me, tapping my shoulders as he said it. I must have given him some kind of skeptical look for he said, "You'll be able to see it better."

I laid down, and Tugger lay next me, his left shoulder rubbing against my right. His hand went out towards the sky again, pointing out the Pegasus once more. I nodded that I could see where he was pointing, then his finger began to move, connecting the dots and creating an outline, a box like shape with three sticks attached, two at one corner, and the third at the corner parallel to them. My brow furrowed in confusion, but he spoke before I could.

"Just wait." He said, and he sounded excited, like he was waiting to see my reaction to a really good present being opened. "Watch," he said, and then his finger moved, tracing invisible details inside and out of the strange shape, and as I added the invisible lines he drew to the image of the box, I saw the Pegasus begin to take form. My mouth fell open, and I stared in awe as I saw the horse, his neck stretched out, making up the one stick at the corner, his legs reaching out as though he were running, right below. The box became his torso, strong and powerful, and within that box Tugger also drew one of his wings, tucked tightly alongside his shoulder.

I laughed as I realized why Tugger had turned us around. "He's upside down," I said, my amusement and awe coming through in my voice.

"Pretty neat, huh?" Tugger turned his head to look at me, and I met his smirk with a grin of my own.

"Pretty neat?" I repeated incredulously. "Tugger, that's amazing!"

"Glad you think so." He said wryly, and his tone darkened a little, a thoughtful look crossing his face before he brightened again and turned back to the sky.

"I wonder what Macavity's favorite constellation is." I muttered it under my breath, more to myself, but Tugger heard me anyway, and pointed it out to me solemnly.

"Leo," he said. "The Nemean Lion of legend." His finger moved once more, drawing the image of a fierce and beautiful lion, paws out stretched and mouth opened in a growl.

I fell silent, remembering the myths about Hercules and the lion, and I understood almost immediately why that was Macavity's favorite. Tugger shifted, his elbow brushing mine as he brought his hands behind his head.

"Why do you ask?" He said, staring up at the constellation.

"I...I had a nightmare," I admitted, embarrassed.

"So that's why you were out walking," Tugger said, standing to his feet. He offered me a hand and helped me to my feet. "I was wondering what you were doing; thought it was a little late for a walk."

"What were _you_ doing out, Tugger?" I asked him, suddenly curios. He winked at me, then frowned as he looked at something past my shoulder.

"I was going to ask the same thing," a voice spoke up behind me, and I turned to see Demeter, followed closely by Bombalurina, matching scowls of disdain on their faces, though they were directed at different people.

"Tugger," Demeter said coldly, raising an eyebrow at him.

He made a mocking bow towards her, tipping an invisible hat. "Demeter," he responded, equally cold, though there was a twinkle in his eyes that wasn't present in Demeter's.

"What are you doing here?" Bomba asked me, her silent hatred radiating off her in waves.

"I..." I stammered, trying to think of an excuse that didn't involve my nightmare about Macavity.

"She was just out for a walk, and ran into me," Tugger came to me defense, winking slyly at me out of the corner of his eye. "And a good thing too, huh?" He smirked.

"A little late for a walk, wouldn't you think?" Bombalurina asked Demeter, her eyes never leaving mine.

"Bomba," Demeter murmured quietly, a hint of disapproval in her tone.

"If you must know," I snapped, suddenly annoyed. "I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk. Didn't think that was a crime around here, but I guess I was wrong."

Bomba looked about ready to murder me, but Tugger smoothly stepped forward and pulled her aside, his arm going around her waist as he whispered something in her ear. Demeter cast a glance at them over her shoulder, watching them walk a few feet away before she turned and approached me, a look of understanding on her face.

"Hey, don't mind her," she told me reassuringly. "She's just a little high strung right now, and she's taking it out on you because you're the easiest target."

I nodded once, pursing my lips tersely. "Well, that does makes me feel better."

Demeter laughed, nudging me playfully with her shoulder. "So, Tugger was showing you the stars, was he?" Her eyes widened in mock adoration before flashing a mischievous grin. "Classic Tugger."

I laughed with her, nodding an answer to her question and turning to look up at the sky again. "He showed me his favorite, the Pegasus." I pointed out the constellation to her.

She nodded her head in exaggerated thoughtfulness before saying, loud enough for Tugger to hear, "That's funny, because he told me that his favorite constellation was Pisces." She pointed out the fish to me, and Tugger suddenly appeared behind us, an irritated scowl on his face.

"Come on, Dem," he said, his voice carrying over the irritation from his eyes. "Why did you have to do that?"

She simply humphed at him haughtily before moving past him to rejoin her sister. Tugger glared at her back before turning back to me, a sheepish expression on his face. "Ignore that," he said, waving a hand dismissively in her direction. "She's just jealous."

"Oh?" I said, trying to hide my hurt at Demeter's statement, and trying to decide if all he really was doing was flirting and teasing with me like he was infamous for.

"See, we used to date, a while back, but then I ended up with her sister, and she's been pissed at me ever since then."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, his story not one of the various theories I had heard as to why Demeter disliked Tugger. I filed it away in my mental notes of all the things I was learning and would have to share with the fandom when/if I returned to my human form, and my home. Bombalurina glanced over at us from where she stood with Demeter, and her ears went back as she how close we were. I immediately took a step back, and saw her smirk at me, a victorious twinkle in her eyes before she started to make her way back over, Demeter a few paces behind.

"Speaking of," I said to Tugger, nodding my head pointedly in their direction.

His face brightened as he moved quickly over to Bomba, brushing Demeter's shoulder purposefully as he passed. She hissed at him, her ears going back, and he made a face at her before looping an arm through Bombalurina's and diverting her attention once more.

"So, what was Tugger telling you about now?" Demeter asked with a knowing smirk playing on her lips.

"Uh, nothing much," I lied, shifting uncomfortably as she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Let me guess," she said, pursing her lips and crossing her arms. "He told you all about our 'tragic' history, and made it seem like I was out to get him."

"Little bit." I said, unsure how she would react to finding out about the gossip.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly. "Honestly, I'm not upset about it. It was ages ago, and unlike Tugger, I am mature enough to move past it. Besides, _I_ broke up with _him._ And, anyway," she said, her expression shifting slightly to a softer tone. "I found someone else."

I had a suspicion I knew who she meant, but I didn't dare mention it, and quickly strove to steer the conversation away from that. "And Bomba?" I asked, pressing gently to try and get her attention.

Demeter instantly shifted moods once more, returning to that sarcastic playfulness. "Oh, she really is jealous."

"Of me?" I asked, an incredulous smile on my face. "Believe me, she has nothing to worry about."

"I know that," Demeter said. "And she knows that too, she's just teasing you because deep down, I think she likes you."

"Sure," I drawled, thinking that if that was how Bombalurina showed her liking someone, I would hate to see what she was like if she didn't.

Demeter nodded, a conspiratorial smirk on her face. I nodded back, not as sure as she thought she was, and she frowned as she took in my expression.

"Hey," she said again, her voice softer with sincerity. "It's alright. I understand, things are new and scary and you're far from home, but you have to know that you're safe here; you are welcome."

"I don't feel very welcomed," I muttered. "And thanks anyway, but that's not why I couldn't sleep."

"Nightmare?" She said knowingly, and I nodded, slightly embarrassed as I saw Tugger and Bomba come up to us out of the corner of my eye. Bomba looked much less tense than before, whatever Tugger had said to her having worked, apparently, to calm her down.

"You know, it helps sometimes to talk about it," Demeter pressed gently, but I looked at her and then at Bomba and shook my head.

"Not this time," I said.

Something shifted in Bombalurina's eyes and she looked away, and I had the feeling she knew exactly what I was talking about, what my dream had been. Demeter seemed to sense the tension, and sought to rectify it.

"Alright, well," she said, clapping her hands together and looking around at us. "It's getting late, and we should all be getting back to bed." She glanced pointedly at Tugger, who grinned wickedly.

"Is that an invitation?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her. Demeter's ears went back and she scowled at him in disgust.

"Oh, save it for your pillow," she snapped at him, and he winked at her lewdly. Her disgusted look increased and she hissed at him, and he got the hint and sauntered off, nodding a goodbye to me before he left.

Demeter was growling low in her throat, disdain written on her face as she scowled at the place where he had once stood. I cleared my throat nervously, and her ears flickered in my direction, before her eyes followed and her body relaxed.

"Sorry," she muttered, smiling at me. "As you know, Tugger and I have a…difficult relationship."

"That's an understatement," Bomba snorted, coming up beside her. Demeter made a face at her before turning back to me.

"It really is late, though," she said. "We'll walk you back to Coricopat and Tantomile's."

"We will?" Bomba asked coolly, glancing sideways at Demeter.

"We will," Demeter said resolutely, and Bomba fell silent, though I could tell from the look she gave me she was less than thrilled about the idea.

We walked in awkward silence for quite a while, and I used the opportunity to take in a few more piles of junk, and various bits and pieces that caught my eye. I remembered what Tantomile had told me about my liking my den, and tried to find anything that stuck out to me.

"Are all these piles dens?" I asked Demeter, motioning to a particularly beat up washing machine, which lay on its side and was hollowed out, a few extra spaces carved out inside it.

"Most of them," she said, glancing back at me. "But not all of them."

"Which one's yours?" I asked, glancing around curiously.

"We're on the other side of the yard," Demeter said, smiling slightly. "That way." She turned and pointed off to the left, though I couldn't see much of consequence. "Follow the path and keep going till you find a pipe. Go through the pipe and there you go." She grinned at me before continuing on, and I pondered about it for a while, wondering what their den would be like, and what den I would choose. As we journeyed on, I kept my eyes peeled for any sign of something interesting and comfortable, and I stopped suddenly in surprise as something caught my eye.

"Wait!" I cried, rushing over to it in excitement. "Is that a porch? It's a porch!" I laughed eagerly as I took it in. The porch was broken, but the deck itself was still intact, and it was raised slightly, propped up against a pile of junk and the back bumper of the TSE 1.

"Yeah, it's a porch," Bomba said, raising an eyebrow as I ducked under the porch and dashed back out again. "Is it important?"

"No," I said, shaking my head, but I was grinning wildly. It was perfect!

"We'll come back tomorrow," Demeter promised me, smiling at my excitement. I couldn't wait. It was stuck in my head now, shoving aside all other thoughts and feelings, and nothing was going to stop me from making it mine.


	6. tumble flips of doom and gloom

**Hey guys! Hopefully this chapter isn't too long in coming. I'm glad to see you guys are enjoying, and I always look forward to hearing what you think in the reviews.**

 **No warnings for this chapter, just some more feels and a tiny bit of angst towards the end. This chapter includes more backstory, as well as some introductions to more Jellicle Cats. :)**

 **Just a heads up, I have mentioned that I'm following my head canon for this story. My head canon is ever changing and ever growing with various bits and pieces of info I pick up from reading and constant re-watching of the show. Bear in mind it may not be the same as what is commonly believed, and I will do my best not to offend anyone. ;) Also, this fic is an AU! It will be a bit more than just a self insert into the musical; I will also be exploring the stories behind the story, so it won't quite follow the traditional musical/movie's plotline. Just wanted to let you know in case you started wondering later about certain things that happen.**

 **Ok, enough talk! Enjoy the chapter, and don't forget to review!**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

Coricopat and Tantomile were waiting for us when we got back, and Tantomile sighed, a relieved smile on her face.

"See?" She said to Coricopat. "I told you they'd be ok."

"Of course we're ok," Demeter said with a laugh. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"No," Coricopat said thoughtfully, not even acknowledging the question. "I guess I was wrong."

"What's this?" Tantomile said, gasping in fake shock. "Coricopat actually admitting he was wrong?"

"I never thought I'd see the day!" Demeter joined in, and Coricopat muttered unintelligibly under his breath.

Bombalurina smiled softly, amusement in her eyes as well.

"Come on Dem," she said, nodding her head in the direction of the door. "We should be getting back."

"Yeah, we should," Demeter said, nodding her head, though she seemed reluctant to leave.

"Don't forget," she told me as she passed. "Tomorrow we start making over your den." She flashed an eager grin over shoulder before disappearing after her sister.

"You found your den?" Tantomile asked, but she had a knowing smile playing on her lips, and even Coricopat didn't look quite surprised.

"Yeah," I said, undeterred by their foreknowledge. "It's this big old wooden porch, propped up against the TSE 1, and it's just big enough crawl under, and it's perfect and warm and the wood smell is everywhere and...it's perfect." I finished in a rush, smiling as I thought of it.

"I told you you would love it," Tantomile said, grinning at me.

"I'm glad you found your den," Coricopat said, nodding his head at me.

"Thanks," I said, looking between them. "I'm so excited to start working on it."

"Well," Tantomile said. "That means you'll have to get to sleep. You have a lot of planning to do tomorrow."

I nodded, rushing back to my room and settling in under the blankets, knowing that tomorrow, I would take my first step into becoming part of the tribe.

When I woke up, the first thing I realized was that I hadn't had anymore nightmares. The second, I was still a cat. I lay for a moment in the pile of blankets in the mystic twins' den and thought over the fact that everything was still happening to me, and then I remembered about my den and I shot up out of the heap, disentangling myself from the sheets, only to trip and fall flat on my face.

I scrambled hastily back onto my feet grateful that no one had been around to see that. Running my hands over my head fur instinctively trying to smooth it out, I made my over to the door and opened it, then carefully made my way towards the main room of the den. I found Coricopat and Tantomile, sitting at the table with small bowls of cat food in front of them, and a third bowl set out at the spare chair for me.

"Good morning," the twins said simultaneously, sharing an amused glance with each other before turning back to me.

"You look excited," Tantomile said as I sat down and picked up the spoon that sat beside the bowl.

"I am," I said, staring first at the cat food, and then back at my spoon. "Demeter said she and Bombalurina would meet me at the TSE 1, and we'd go over some ideas for my den."

I stuck the spoon into the soft food, watching it stand straight up in the mush as if it were jello. Coricopat raised an eyebrow, and Tantomile looked concerned as I took the spoon out and stared at the goop that stuck to it, sniffing curiously at it before shoving it back into the bowl.

"We do have tuna as well, if you would prefer that," Tantomile said slowly, staring at me cautiously as she said it.

"Tuna?" I repeated, perking up instantly, feeling my insides melt with relief. "I can do tuna." I nodded eagerly as Coricopat got up and took my bowl away, placing it in a small wash tub before going over to the cabinets go get the food and another bowl.

"We'll just have to remember that you don't like chicken," Tantomile said, nodding slowly.

"That was chicken?" I blurted out without thinking, then made a face as both cats stared at me. "Sorry." I muttered.

Yes, I realize I was being rude, but in all fairness, I was a human in a cat's body! And there was no way I was going to eat cat food. Coricopat placed the bowl of tuna in front of me, and I apologized again before thanking him and beginning to eat. The tuna tasted just like the kind you'd buy from the store, only it came in a can instead of a pouch. I was just grateful it wasn't the kind of processed tuna goop I fed my cats at home. I think I would have rather starved. As it was, it was pretty good, and I ate the whole bowl.

"Hungry, were you?" Coricopat asked, though there was no spite in his words. I realized I hadn't eaten since early yesterday, since I had been planning to eat dinner after the show, but hadn't gotten the chance to since I'd been detoured and turned into a cat! I got up from the table and helped Tantomile clear the rest of the dishes, then started on my way out the door.

"The clearing is straight ahead," Coricopat called to me as I left. "Just keep going straight and make a right at the coat hanger, you won't miss it."

"Thanks!" I called back, and followed his instructions, walking straight down the path and keeping my eyes peeled for any sign of a coat hanger.

Instead of finding a coat hanger, however, I found another cat. I couldn't tell if it was a Tom or a Queen yet, but I could just make out coffee colored fur, and a white face, and I tried to match those markings with the Cats in my head. It must either be Cassandra or Exotica, I realized, and I wasn't sure which one I preferred it to be, both cats being so elusive and mysterious. I wondered if I could just slip past without being noticed, but unfortunately, that was not the case.

The cat raised her head and turned to look at me, and I realized it was Cassandra after all. Her eyes flashed and her lips pulled back into a snarl, her tiny ears pinning rather awkwardly to the sides of her head.

"Who are you, and what do you think you're doing here?" She hissed at me, leaping down from the sofa she had been sitting on.

"I'm Persephone," I stammered, backing away a step as she took one towards me. "I got here last night, you must not have been there." She narrowed her eyes at me, and I realized I hadn't answered her other question.

"I'm trying to get to the clearing," I explained, and she relaxed a little, her features schooling themselves into casual suspicion.

"I'm going to the clearing myself," she said. "I'll take you."

And with that she started walking, clearly expecting me to follow her. I did, wondering if she was really going to the clearing, or if she had said that purely so she could spy on me. We reached the clearing pretty quickly, and there were quite a few cats up and moving about in it, and I could see the group of kittens, playing near the tires while Skimbleshanks watched over them from his perch on top of one of the rubber tires. The kittens noticed me almost immediately, and Etcetera squealed excitedly.

"Sephonie!" She cried, rushing over to me, and Cassandra smirked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"For the record, I didn't come up with the name," I told her, and she laughed quietly before slinking off, assured that I wasn't a stranger.

"I still think it sounds like Stephanie," Electra protested, wrinkling her nose as she came up behind Etcetera.

"Well until you can think of a better name, that's what I'm calling her." Etcetera said haughtily, raising her chin in defiance. Electra scowled at her, and Etcetera growled, tackling her and knocking her off her feet. The two kittens tumbled, and Electra quickly managed to regain her balance before leaping back at Etcetera, and I laughed as they moved away, furiously engaged in their battle.

"Hi Sephonie," a voice said quietly behind me, and I jumped, startled, but relaxed when I realized it was only Victoria.

"Hello Victoria," I said to her, smiling, and she looked pleasantly surprised that I knew her name. There was another kitten with her, a solid black tom, with white paws like mittens, and a white chest and face, a small splotch of black under his chin making it look like he was wearing a bow tie.

"This is Quaxo, also called Mistofolees," she told me, a hint of pride in her words. "He's _magic_."

"Is he now?" I said, smiling at her and looking over at him. He smiled shyly, shifting a little closer to Victoria, who nodded at me happily.

"Uh huh," she said. "He has two names, so it's a little confusing, but I call him Misto, sometimes." She leaned in conspiratorially. "But only me, he doesn't let anyone else."

"Well, it's nice to meet you," I said to him, and he fluffed out his tail and straightened a little as he grinned at me. "What should I call you?"

"Whichever you like," he said, more confident now that he saw that Victoria knew me. "I usually save Mistofolees for when I do tricks, but you can call me that, if it makes it easier."

I nodded, agreeing that it was easier, and he and Victoria scampered off again, and I looked around the clearing for any sign of Demeter or Bombalurina. I found Bomba, lounging on the hood of the TSE 1, stretched out peacefully with a contented smile on her face. I started to make my way over, when something solid and fluffy hit me, and I found myself on the floor, a groaning lump beside me.

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean to do that, I swear!" A boyish voice said, above me now.

I looked up to see a white Tom, young, still just a kitten, with brown patches on his body, and a distinct brown patch over his right eye.

"That's ok," I assured him as I got up. "I'm sure it was an accident."

"It was!" He cried, upset for a moment before he suddenly became excited. "I was trying to do a flic flac, but it's hard cuz I can't see where I'm going."

"A what?" I asked, unsure for a moment if he had actually spoken English.

"A backflip," he clarified, a look on his face that clearly said 'what planet are you from?'

"Oh," I said, nodding as though I knew what he meant. I knew about backflips, could never do one to save my life, but I had no idea what a flic flac was. The kitten seemed to sense my confusion, and he skipped a few paced away.

"Wanna see?" He asked.

"Sure," I said, shrugging.

"Ok, watch!" He said, grinning broadly before frowning in concentration.

He stood still for a moment, then suddenly bent his knees, leaping up and flinging his body backwards, making a perfectly graceful arch with his spine before flinging out his hands to try and land. I say try, because his hands didn't quite reach the ground in the right way, and he crashed, his body continuing the rest of the rotation without him, causing him to tumble a few feet away. I gasped, rushing over to him and looking around for any sign of his parents, but he rolled and was back on all four feet almost instantly, shaking himself to get rid of the dust.

"See?" He told me as he stood up, brushing his chest. "My hands don't know where they're going until halfway through, and I can never get them down in time. But it's still really neat, right?" He grinned again, and I smile back, relieved that he was ok.

"Yeah, it is pretty neat," I agreed, nodding my head.

"You're new here, aren't you?" He asked, cocking his head slightly.

"What was your first hint?" I teased, and his face scrunched slightly. "Sorry," I said quickly, realizing I might have upset or confused him with my sarcasm. "No, yes, I'm new."

His face split into another grin. "You're funny," he said. "And weird, I like you." He said with a laugh, and I shook my head, reminded of a little kid pumped full of sugar. "I'm Tumblebrutus," he announced proudly, trying to draw himself up to be taller than he really was. "Nice to meet you."

"I'm Persephone," I said back, smiling so hard I was almost laughing.

"That's funny," Tumblebrutus said, bouncing slightly on his toes. "Demeter's mom's name was Persephone, and Bomba's too I guess, only not really cuz they had different moms, but their dad was the same, I don't think I'm supposed to know that, but I do, and Bomba's mom didn't want her anymore, and so she left and Bomba found Demeter and Demeter's mom took her in and so they're sisters and cousins, which is kinda cool, don't you think?" He looked up at me curiously, waiting to hear my opinion, but I was still reeling from his onslaught of words and trying to process all the information. I nodded mutely, the huge thing he had said refusing to leave my mind.

"They had different mothers?" I repeated, and Tumblebrutus nodded, though he looked a little unsure.

"Who was Bomba's mom?" I asked him, and he opened his mouth to answer, but suddenly he paled, and a harsh voice spoke up behind me.

"THAT is none of your concern."

I flinched, and turned to see Bomba standing behind me, scowling so furiously I thought for sure that I was going to die then and there.

"Bomba," I stammered, but her eyes flashed and I fell silent again.

"I never said you could call me that," she snapped, and I nodded, trying to control my voice.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Gossip about me and talk behind my back about things that are none of your business?" She hissed, her ears going back, a growl starting in the back of her throat as she took a step forward. I tried to back away and tripped, dropping to all fours as I desperately scrambled away.

"Look, I'm sorry," I stammered as she also dropped to all fours, her growl increasing as she stalked after me. "I wasn't trying to be rude or gossip or anything…I was just curious… and I'm not helping myself any at all, am I?"

She didn't respond, her teeth bared in a grimace and her eyes...I was shocked to see that they weren't cold and murderous as I thought they'd be, they were filled with an unidentifiable emotion, with murder only being an afterthought. I hit something solid, and silently cursed as I realized I was screwed, when suddenly a voice spoke up.

"Bomb?"

A leopard spotted Tom stood behind her, his brow furrowed in confusion as he took in the scene before him.

"Tugger!" I cried, truly happy to see him for the first time since I got there. He ignored me, which stung a little, honestly, and walked up to Bomba, reaching out a hand to gently grab her arm and lift her onto her feet, then pulling her close to him, an arm going around her shoulder. I stood up, and it was only then that I realized she was shaking, and I felt a stab of guilt in my stomach. Or maybe it was relief that I wasn't dead, it was hard to say.

"What happened?" Tugger asked quietly, and I couldn't tell who he was asking. His eyes were on Bombalurina, but I had a feeling the question was up for grabs.

"I-" I stammered, trying to think of what happened; find an excuse, a reason for her attack.

Bombalurina spoke up, her voice quiet and muffled against Tugger's chest, and I knew her words were for him alone, though I made out one whispered word. " _Mother_."

Tugger tensed, his head jerking up to me and his eyes hard as he stared, and I flinched at the intensity of his gaze. He looked like he was about to say something, but then his eyes shifted to a spot past my ear, and Bomba used the opportunity to wrench herself from his grasp, turning without a sound and running, first on two legs, then on four until she disappeared from view.

"I'll go after her," Tugger said the spot behind me, a sigh in his voice.

"No," a voice spoke up, pain and defeat in its tone. "I will."

"Demeter," I said in surprise as the Queen made her appearance, walking over to Tugger. She glanced back at me, hurt in her eyes, before she ran off after her sister.

I stood shocked, still trying to figure out what happened and feeling hurt and guilty when Tugger spoke up again.

"Come on." He jerked his head to the side. "Let's get you back to the clearing."

I looked around in surprise at his words, and noticed that we were standing in a small, dark niche off the main split of junk of the clearing. A fitting place for a murder, I thought glumly as I followed him. Only, the murder was of an emotional kind, and I was the killer.


	7. lights, cider, and smooth criminals

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while since I've updated. I've been trying to delay this chapter as long as possible because I just wasn't sure how you would take to it. But I know I can't delay forever or you'll riot, so, here it is.**

 ****Just a warning, this chapter does contain some brief sexual content. It is nothing explicit or graphic, I swear! That's not my style. It is implied more than anything, but it is there, so be warned.****

 **P.S. In response to EvelynKnight, my faithful reviewer: Yes, my relationship with Bomba and Demeter both are a bit strained right now, but things do look up soon, so don't worry! Can't say much without spoiling but it involves the Jellicle Ball. ;)**

 **Hope you enjoy the chapter, and don't forget to review! Also please don't kill me.**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

When we made it back to the clearing, the kittens had cleared out, and a few adults were scattered around in groups. Coricopat and Tantomile were there as well, and Tugger and I joined Tantomile a few feet away from where Munkustrap was talking with Coricopat.

"There you are," Tantomile said, relief in her face, but her voice was strained. "Tumblebrutus told us that...something had happened..."

Her voice trailed off and her gaze grew distant for a moment before she returned, and her eyes instantly flew to where Coricopat was standing. He straightened and glanced back at her, then over at me before turning back to Munkustrap and repeating whatever she had said to him. Munkustrap glanced quickly over at me, his expression unreadable before he nodded and jogged away, making it to the edge of the clearing before breaking into a run, heading in the direction of Demeter and Bombalurina's den.

"Look," I began. "It was an accident. I didn't meant to..."

"We know," Coricopat said abruptly, cutting me off.

"She'll be fine," Tantomile added gently, though she too, sounded a little tense.

"Will she?" Tugger asked, raising an eyebrow.

"In time," Coricopat said.

Tantomile nodded. "A lot of old wounds were opened today, it's going to take her a while to recover."

"Again, it was an accident," I tried to protest, but no one really seemed to be paying attention.

"She does have Demeter," Tugger said, more to himself than anyone else, and the twins nodded.

"I really didn't mean to cause this," I said, feeling really guilty now. The group's attention shifted to me and I shuffled anxiously under their gazes. "I am really sorry, and now I've probably lost the only friend I made here. Minus the kittens," I added.

"It's not us you should be apologizing to." Tugger said, and I nodded.

"But maybe not right now," Coricopat added, and I nodded again.

"Tomorrow?" I suggested, and he and Tantomile exchanged a look.

"Tomorrow should be alright," Tantomile said, but she hesitated, as if there was something that would make it not so alright.

"It's not your fault," Coricopat said firmly, and I glanced over at him, surprised at his words.

"What happened is not your fault," he continued, and I realized he didn't just mean what happened just now, but also what happened in the past.

"And Bombalurina knows that," Tantomile continued, nodding. "She just needs time."

"Alright," I said, believing them and hoping that I could make it right somehow.

"Well," Tugger said suddenly, clapping his hands together. "If we're all done with this emotional stuff, I have something very important to do."

And with that announcement, he strutted off, his steps containing a light swagger that made him look almost like he was dancing instead of walking. Tantomile shook her head, though I could see a hint of a smirk on her face, and Coricopat just sighed.

"That's Tugger for you," he said, shrugging helplessly.

"Cori and I have something we need to do, too," Tantomile said after a moment of silence. "You'll be alright on your own?"

She said it somehow both like a question and a statement; like she already knew the answer but needed me to confirm it for her.

I nodded, albeit a little reluctantly. "I guess so," I said. "As long as I don't ruin anyone else's life, I should be good."

Tantomile gave me a small smile, but I was only half joking. The twins walked off, and I sighed, wishing I could find Bomba and Demeter and apologize, but knowing that it probably wasn't a wise idea. Besides, Tantomile had clearly said wait till tomorrow, so I would just have to keep myself occupied till then. I was surprised at how hard that seemed to be, considering the circumstances. I decided to do what I was supposed to do with Bomba and Demeter: go and see my den.

I made my way across the clearing, avoiding the stares of some of the adults, who had clearly already heard about what had happened with Bombalurina. That or they just didn't trust me, which was also fair. I reached the TSE 1, and there, just tucked beside it and half buried, was my porch. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of it, and I dropped to all four feet and walked in, breathing in the wood smell and looking around at the space. It was dark, with the sun shining through the cracks up too and casting patterns along the ground. I imagined what it would like once I had made it more homey, and I pictured a bed tucked neatly in the back corner, leaving room in the rest of the den for, well, whatever else I needed. The 'wall' was too low for anything tall like a bookshelf, which was slightly disappointing, but I figured this was nothing permanent, so I'd survive. Plus, I could always borrow books from Coricopat and Tantomile, I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

I walked back out of the den and surveyed the overhang, thinking that it needed something to decorate it, something that made it obvious that someone lived here. Looking around, I grinned as I saw a bunch of gold lights strung up and glowing in another coat hanger a few steps away, and I quickly made my way over to it and started untangling them from their awkward set up.

"How the heck did this get so tangled?" I muttered to myself as I wrestled with the wires. "Who even puts lights on a coat hanger?"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," a voice spoke up smoothly from behind me, and I jumped a foot, spinning around to find Tugger leaned up against my porch, an amused smirk on his face as he stared at me.

"Are you stalking me or what?" I asked him, and he frowned, raising an eyebrow at me.

"It's just that you're always there when I think I'm alone and talking to myself," I continued, and he shrugged, his grin returning.

"Maybe you're just lucky," he said, and I blinked at him, shocked at his behavior, though I don't know why I was so shocked, really. I mean, he is the Rum Tum Tugger.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Bomba?" I asked, feeling another slight surge of guilt.

He shrugged a shoulder smoothly, nonplussed. "I got kicked out; something about being 'insensitive' or whatever."

"Demeter?" I guessed, unable to help my amused smile.

"Her exact words were…less kind," he answered with a slight tilt of his own lips. "But yes, Demeter."

I chuckled a little, shaking my head and turning back to the coat hanger. "What is it that I shouldn't being doing?" I asked him, giving another tug on the cord of lights.

"That," Tugger said, and I could tell from his voice that he was right behind me now. "Take down those lights."

"And why is that?" I asked with a grunt, as I finally pulled free a strand from the knot.

"Oh, no reason," he said casually. "Just that I know a certain Tom who would be very unhappy with you if you did."

I gave him a suspicious look, but he didn't bother to continue with his explanation, and I glared at him in frustration.

"Well, if you know anywhere else I can get some lights, now would be the time to speak up." I snapped at him. "If not, then I'm sorry, but I'll have to take them down."

He gave a noncommittal shrug, seeming to enjoy tormenting me. I growled, my eyes narrowing as I bared my teeth at him, but it had the opposite effect as he started laughing, and I crossed my arms, feeling like I was being made fun of.

"Come on," he finally said, catching his breath. "I know what you can do." With that, he jerked his head and strutted off, and I wasn't sure if I should follow him or not, but when he paused and turned to look at me, I huffed and jogged to catch up with him.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked him, trying and failing to stay angry.

"You'll see," he said, that same self-satisfied smirk on his face.

I mumbled unintelligibly under my breath, but followed him anyway, making my way into the junkyard until we reached a set up steps. He easily climbed them, before turning and offering me a hand. I reached hesitantly to take it, eyeing the steps with suspicion before I suddenly laughed.

"Wait, are these board games?! That's Scrabble, isn't it?"

The stairs were a bunch of board games, stacked upon each other and arranged like a flight of stairs. I reached for the game in question, one of my favorites next to Monopoly, but Tugger stopped me.

"I wouldn't do that, unless you want to make an avalanche of my front steps."

"Your front steps?" I repeated, and he grinned, once more stretching out his hand. I took it, and allowed him to help me up the stairs until I stood next to him on a solid surface.

"Welcome to my humble abode," he said, gesturing broadly with his other hand, and pulling aside a curtain to reveal a rather luxurious looking den. The den was circular, giving a sort of never ending feeling to the place, and there were various leopard spotted items decorating the den; a curtain there, separating the main room from another, a lamp shade on a desk, the light just bright enough to see by but not so bright you were blind. Even the rug was spotted, but nothing clashed, and it all blended perfectly with each other. There was also lots of red, but it was so natural, and so everywhere that you had no choice but to accept it. There were no tables and chairs, just a red couch against one wall, with some kind of abstract painting hung over it. I vowed to have a closer look at the artwork, though I didn't have much time to ponder it because Tugger suddenly spoke up behind me, jolting me out of my thoughts.

"Well," he said, walking up to stand beside me. "What do you think?"

I glanced around the den once more, and I thought that it fit him perfectly. Loud, and yet simultaneously, refined in a way, everything blending to form the perfect bachelor pad.

"It's amazing, Tugger," I said truthfully, and he grinned broadly at me before waking further into the room.

"You hungry?" He asked, motioning to another curtain I hadn't noticed before. "There's a pantry right through there, you can help yourself."

I nodded, slightly off put by his behavior, though I forced myself not to be, this was Tugger, after all. He walked over to the table with lamp, where a box rested, and he opened the box, revealing a record player. Then he reached down beside the table and pulled out a few large envelopes containing records, flipping through them off handedly before selecting one and placing it on the wheel of the record and laying the pin gently on the disc. He placed the other records back beside the table and fiddled with some buttons on the record player, and suddenly music burst from the speakers, a combination of jazz and something kind of edgy, not quite rock, but it definitely wasn't anything I had ever heard before. Despite the way the music styles seemed to clash, they all came together rather smoothly as the song progressed, and I realized I kind of liked it.

My eyes drifted over to the couch, which looked incredibly soft and smooth, the material of the couch almost shining.

"Is that silk?" I asked, pointing at the couch, and I glanced over at Tugger to find him pouring some kind of clear drink into two cups, and I had a strong suspicion it was something alcoholic. I considered telling him that I couldn't legally drink, as I wasn't 21, but then I remembered I was a cat, which only further served to concern me, as I wasn't quite sure how that would affect me.

"Yeah, it is," Tugger said, coming up to me and offering me a glass, and I remembered my question about the sofa. "Skimbleshanks got it for me. He works on the train, travels everywhere." He explained. "He found it and brought it back, with some help," a brief smile crossed his face at those words. "And I liked it so much I got another."

I stared warily at the glass in my hands, only half listening, watching the bubbles in the drink rise and foam gather around the rim. Tugger raised an eyebrow at me, and I looked up quickly.

"No, sorry," I said. "I'm listening. That is really neat; it looks incredibly soft."

"It is," Tugger agreed, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards.

"I was just wondering, what is this?" I asked, raising my glass.

Tugger chuckled and took a sip of his own drink, and I watched him closely for any sign of reaction, though it did occur to me that he must have done this before, given his familiarity with it.

"It's cider," he assured me, noticing my expression, and I relaxed, but only slightly, since I knew that some ciders were still alcoholic.

"What kind of cider?" I asked, and he smiled even further.

"Why don't you take a sip and find out?" He answered, and I glared at him, letting him know I didn't appreciate the lack of an answer.

He continued to stare at me expectantly, and I sighed, inwardly vowing to kill him if it turned out to be some kind of drug, but then I frowned as the liquid hit my tongue, the combination of taste nothing I had had before. I wrinkled my nose, swallowing and grimacing at the aftertaste which hit my throat and coated it with a sour-sweet taste.

"Well, what do you think?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly, taking another sip. "I guess it's an acquired taste...what is it?"

He chuckled a little then, placing his own empty glass on the table beside the record player. "You'll have to figure that out yourself."

I groaned, frustrated, but continued sipping the beverage, unable to decide whether or not to like it, but drinking it anyway. The taste was vaguely familiar, the sourness kind of like a lemon, but tarter, almost like...

"Lime!" I burst out, and Tugger raised an eyebrow, his expression still amused.

"And?" He pressed, and I took another sip, pondering over the sweetness that permeated the drink.

It was kind of like an apple, but not quite; sweeter, and not as crisp.

"Pears!" I cried, excited and pleased at having figured it out, then I frowned. "Pear and lime cider?"

"It's good, right?" Tugger was staring almost anxiously at me, if it weren't for the slight smile still pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Sort of a weird flavor combo," I answered, non-committal.

But I was still drinking it so I guess that was as good an answer as anything. Before I knew it the glass was empty, and Tugger happily refilled it when I asked, taking my hand and leading me through another curtain, and I was faced with even more red and leopard spots, but in different degrees. It was much more subtle and intimate than the main room had been, and I chuckled as I saw another silk sofa in place of a bed, pressed against the very center of the back wall, with red spotted pillows gracing the edges.

"I was wondering where the other one was," I said to Tugger, running my hand along the smooth surface and taking another sip of cider. "You said there was a match for the one in the other room but I didn't see it. Was starting to wonder if you were just teasing me."

"Would you have been terribly angry with me if I had been?"

"Probably not," I said, shrugging. "I probably would have thought it a typical Tugger thing."

"Oh? And what else would you have said was a 'typical Tugger thing?'" His voice was right by my ear now, a soft purr, and I had a hard time collecting my thoughts, or remembering what I had even been doing here in the first place. I turned to respond to him, and suddenly his lips were pressed against mine, one hand going around my waist while the other relieved me of my cup, setting it down somewhere out of my sight. I had never been kissed by someone before, let alone a cat, but those thoughts were irrelevant in the light of the steadily growing pressure on my back, the warmth of his body against mine, and the almost desperate insistence of his lips moving against mine. I didn't know how to respond, my mind going blank, and so I didn't think and let my body take over, lightly and tentatively kissing him back.

His response was immediate, as though I had verbally said yes, and suddenly his hands were moving from my back to my hips to even lower, and I felt a thrill of fear and a stab of clarity, but then his mouth moved down to my neck and I moaned, my knees buckling and thoughts vanishing once more. We were moving backwards, a thought that only solidified when my back hit the wall, and I suddenly felt my mind flicker, another thrill settling in my stomach, an insistence that something wasn't right. Hands were moving towards my chest, and my hands were on his, and suddenly I pushed, lightly but still firmly as my brain struggled to piece things together. He didn't stop though, simply shifting his hands to cradle my hips as his mouth worked to open mine. I obliged, but only to stammer out, "Stop."

He did, just as quickly as he had started, which surprised and startled me, and he stepped back and stared down at me in concern. My mind was in overdrive now, the past few minutes slamming into me and I didn't know whether to feel angry or afraid or disappointed that it had ended where it did.

"Lights," I finally choked out, and Tugger's expression turned confused for a moment before I clarified. "You said you had lights that I could use. For my den."

He frowned, disappointed, but then his expression turned sly, and he strode forward again, hands going to my waist.

"Who cares about lights?" He whispered huskily, and I shivered as he pressed himself against me once more, leaning down to place his mouth against my throat. "I kind of think we had something going there."

My body fought to give in to him, but I knew better this time and pushed him away, hissing slightly, which stopped him indefinitely.

"Alright then," he said, and backed away, drawing a breath before bending down and pulling a cardboard box from underneath the sofa/bed. He grabbed the sides and lifted it up, depositing it on the silk surface with an exaggerated flourish, his signature smile in place, as though nothing had happened between us.

"There you go, all the lights you could want."

I shook my head, disgust filling me as I thought about what had nearly happened. "What about Bomba?" I asked, and he raised an eyebrow, his smile falling a fraction of an inch.

"What about her?"

I nodded, smiling wryly, finally beginning to see what Demeter had seen that had driven her away. He seemed to sense my train of thought, but made no move to correct it, simply shrugging slightly. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her."

My disgust must have shown on my face at this point, for he sighed and stepped closer, running his hand lightly down my arm, and I pulled away, debating if I should slap him or not.

"Do you do this often?" I asked, a bitter sort of laugh escaping me. "Lure young girls in with your silk couches and pear-lime cider and then take advantage of them when they least expect it?"

He gave me a sad sort of smile and raised a shoulder.

"It's just my nature. There's not much you can really do about it."

I shook my head and reached blindly into the box, grabbing the first strand of lights that came into my hand and leaving, not even glancing back at him, despite his protests or pleads for me to wait. I stepped back out into the sunlight and blinked, scrunching my eyes and fighting to keep back the tears that were threatening to overflow. I rushed across the clearing to the safety of my porch, grateful that no one was nearby or paying enough attention to notice me. Once I was in a slightly more stable frame of mind I looked down at the lights and cursed, flinging them against the back wall of the porch in disgust. They were Christmas lights, and not at all what I needed.

My throat closed up and I struggled to contain a sob, and I found myself exiting my den and running blindly on all fours to the TSE 1, crawling inside and making my way to the front of the car and sliding underneath the dashboard on the passenger side, tucking my knees up to my chest and finally letting loose all the emotions I had tried to keep in. The sobs tore from my throat and I buried my head in my knees, my chin pressing against my chest in an effort to muffle the sound. I tried not to think, but every time I tried to shut down my brain, it would bring back the feel of Tugger's lips on mine, his hand on my hip and the ever growing tension that demanded to be satisfied. And then there was anger, the fury and hatred at the realization that he was using me, just as he had to countless others; just as he was probably doing with Bombalurina. And then I thought of what she would do if she found out about this, and I shuddered as I remembered the look in her eyes when I had mentioned her mother and multiplied it by 1,000, certain that I would be dead if she knew.

'What she doesn't know won't hurt her.' Tugger had said, but it did. It hurt her all the more for the not knowing, for the deception that I had nearly taken part of. And it hurt me, all the more because he could simply pass it off as nothing. He could have taken me any way he wanted and simply walked away with a swagger and a confident grin, spouting that it was just in his nature.

"Carmen," I muttered to myself. "I'm starting to understand Jose's part a little better now."

I laughed, which turned into another sob, and more tears spilled down my face, and I surrendered to all the pain, wishing it would just sweep me away from here.

* * *

"Persephone?"

I flinched at the sound of Tantomile's voice, so close to my ear that I was sure she was physically here. I sniffed and wiped at my eyes, blinking as I looked up to an empty car.

"Tantomile?"

"Where are you?" Her voice was full of concern. "Everyone's been looking for you."

"Everyone?" I asked skeptically, still bitter.

"Cori and I, Munkustrap, Alonzo. Even Demeter and Bombalurina are looking."

Bomba won't be looking for long once she finds out about Tugger, I thought to myself, but Tantomile heard and her voice was confused as she asked.

"What about Tugger?"

I made a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a cry, and tried to stumble out the answer, but couldn't form the words. I shook my head and tried to mentally show her what had happened, and she made a sympathetic sort of noise.

"Try not to take it personally, ok? He does that to everyone and to him it's ok."

"But it's not!" I snapped, angry. "And letting him get away with it isn't going to make it any better, it's not going to make him stop!"

"But you did, didn't you?" Her voice was still calm, even though I had snapped at her.

"Did what?" I asked skeptically, curious but unwilling to fully let go of my anger.

"Made him stop."

I paused, considering it. "I guess, yeah."

"Well there you go."

"But it's still not right." I pouted, and she sighed.

"No, it's not, but there's no use arguing about it."

"What if it were Macavity?" I found myself blurting without thinking, and Tantomile was silent for a moment before answering, her voice grave.

"Don't say that."

"But what if?" I pressed. "What if it were someone other than Tugger, someone who it wasn't expected of them to be that way, then what would you do?"

"If it were anyone else, of course they would face some kind of punishment," Tantomile said slowly. "Possibly even exile from the tribe if it went too far."

"But not him?" I asked wryly, insistently, trying to get her to understand the morality behind it.

"No."

"That's ridiculous!" I cried. "That's like saying that a repetitive thief or a murderer shouldn't be punished for what they've done, because it's expected of them to be that way."

"It's not like that at all," Tantomile said, still calm. "And you know it."

"Not really," I said, and she sighed again, but didn't press the issue, though I wished deep down that she had.

"I'm sorry," Tantomile said, her tone genuine. "I know it must be hard..."

"No." I said abruptly, stopping her. "You don't know."

There was silence then, and I curled into an even tighter ball, letting the tears continue down until they wet the fur on my chest. It was a weird feeling, kind of like having the front of your shirt get damp and stick to your body, but also like the feel of water dripping down your skin. It didn't matter so much, but I was grateful for the distraction from the ache in my chest, and all the conflicting thoughts in my head. I wanted to be home more than ever, and I thought once again that this wasn't at all how I thought things would be in the Junkyard.

"Persephone?"

Tantomile's voice reached me, physically this time, and I blinked, feeling the stiffness around my eyes from where my tears had dried the fur. I must have fallen asleep, for it was darker, shadows falling across the floor of the TSE 1, and I arched my back, stretching stiffly.

"Are you going to come out?" Tantomile asked, and I looked up to see her standing outside the car, peering in at me through the passenger door window.

I thought for a moment.

"No," I said, not caring if I sounded childish.

"Then is there room for one more?"

I hesitated, then shifted my weight, sliding over to one side of the space, and the door opened, and Tantomile padded softly over, curling up beside me. She didn't say anything, but she didn't need to, really. I accepted her apology, and she pressed a little closer, purring softly and sending calming thoughts my way, and eventually we both fell asleep.

* * *

"What a touching little scene, don't you think?"

I was in the dark again, shivering and rubbing the goose bumps on my bare arms.

"What scene?" I snapped, my words failing to carry my anger in the light of the cold numbing my mouth.

"You know, the one of hurt and comfort that Tantomile just displayed; where she supplied the comfort by completely ignoring the thing that did the hurting. That is what I am trying to show you. They don't _care_ , none of them do. It would be a _mercy_ to destroy them."

The venom in the voice made me shudder, and I was thrown into a fit of trembling so severe I lost my balance, flinging my arms wildly at my sides to try and stay upright.

"Why is it so cold in here?" I asked. "And why can't I see anything?" A stab of panic. "And where are my clothes?"

"There's no need for any of that in a dreamscape," the voice answered smugly. "Though I might be persuaded to make some _arrangements_. Provided you do as you're told."

"What, like a reward?" I spat, my words as jerky as my body. "I'm not some kind of pet."

There was a flash of anger, which seemed to radiate throughout the place in a wave of heat, before suddenly settling down, and he spoke up again, his voice silky smooth and dangerously calm.

"Perhaps you've misunderstood the reason I've brought you here in the first place."

Lyrics sprang into my mind at the words, 'why have you brought us here?' from POTO, a desperate Raoul trying to convince Christine that there's no such thing as ghosts.

"Yes," the voice said, startling me by how close it sounded. "But not quite like that. More like..."

And suddenly the image of the Phantom throwing fire at a terrified Raoul and Christine came into my mind, the feel of it so real that my heart pounded, their panic now my own, the heat of the flames burning my skin. A laugh ringing in my ears as green eyes bore into my soul.

I woke with a gasp, Tantomile still beside me, her eyes slightly startled as she stared at me. "What is it?"

I shook my head, still shivering. "Just a nightmare."

"What did you see?" She pressed, concern and anxiety in her voice.

"Nothing," I said, blinking as I tried to clear the images from my head. "Nothing, I'm fine."

She looked skeptical, and I could tell she was trying to probe my thoughts anyway, but she didn't say anything more. Instead she stood up, stretching and yawning, and the action made me smile, and I stood as well, all the more grateful for her presence.

"Why don't we join Coricopat for breakfast," she suggested with a small smile. "And then we can see about fixing those lights for your den."

I nodded and followed her out of the car and down the familiar path back to their den, but I couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched, and the image of the Junkyard in flames was forever etched into my memory, a silhouette with green eyes and viscous laughter haunting me, as well as the thought that somehow Macavity thought that he was going to use me to accomplish it all.

* * *

 **Ok, so there is. Sorry** **for anyone I've offended, this is not in any way reflective of how I actually feel; I love the Rum Tum Tugger (who doesn't?) but I do feel that he is very Carmen-esque in his nature, and I needed some way to portray that here.**

 **In case anyone is interested or doesn't know, a little clarification for my Carmen reference. (search: Carmen Habanera, there should be one with subtitles on youtube)**

 **Carmen is my favorite opera in the world, about a gypsy (named Carmen) who meets and seduces a soldier named Don Jose, who already has a girl back home he's going to marry. Jose ends up falling in love with Carmen, and they're happy for a time until Carmen decides to move on. It's just her nature, she's a free spirit, her song even says so 'love is rebellious bird.' But Jose loves her and wants more; his love turns into obsession, and he ends up killing Carmen in a jealous rage.**

 **It's awesome, isn't it? I highly recommend listening to some of the songs for yourself because it really is a great show. But in regards to what happened here: I always sided with Carmen in the show, saying that Jose just needed to get over it and accept that that was who Carmen was, but from his point of view, it's a completely different story. (Which I won't go into here because I realize this is turning into an extremely long A/N)**

 **I look forward to hearing what you think in the reviews, and the next chapter should be up in a week or so. :)**

 **\- Raven**


	8. close encounters

**Ok guys! I am really excited for this chapter because this is what I've been leading up to. Well, the Jellicle Ball is the actual big thing, but this is close second. It's a bit long, so bear with me, but like I said, this is what I've been trying to set up; the whole 'heart' if you will, of my character study and digging deep into the cats.**

 **In response to my reviews: HumanGuineaPig, I'm so glad to hear you like my story, and I'm just as excited as you as to where this is going.**

 **EvelynKnight: Where would I be without you? Thanks for catching my slip there, I don't know what happened. But I really appreciate it! And yes, I wanted to present Tugger as his song states "he will do as he do do, and there's no doing anything about it." But he's not all bad, and I do love him, (as a character) but I did want to get into his flawed nature as well. He does have his limits, and his good qualities as well, as I've tried to portray and will dig deeper into as well. And I will be digging into all the cats, too, as best I can, so don't worry.**

 **This chapter features a very well known cat, maybe even infamous? *wink wink* And a lesser known cat, one who tends to stick to the shadows and thus, often isn't noticed without looking carefully. Hence the title. :)**

 **No warnings for this chapter, just length. Thanks for your continued interest! I'm looking forward to hearing what you guys think in the reviews!**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

"There you are!" Coricopat cried as he laid eyes on me and Tantomile walking through the door.

"No need to sound too excited," Tantomile teased. "You knew we were coming."

"Well I could see _you_ ," he responded, making a face at her. "But then I couldn't, and I didn't see _you_ at all." He said, turning his gaze on me. "Where were you?"

"I was hiding in the TSE," I admitted sheepishly, dropping my gaze to the floor. "Tantomile came and stayed the night with me."

"But..." Coricopat said, looking over at Tantomile, who nodded to confirm. "That doesn't make sense. I should have been able to see you."

"You see us now," Tantomile said, lightly walking over to him. "That's all that really matters." She gave him a sharp look and he knew to end the conversation.

"Well since you're back we might as well have breakfast. Tuna again, Persephone?" He asked me, and I shrugged, muttering noncommittally.

"Persephone?"

"Fine," I mumbled, not fully aware of what he had said. "That's fine. Just...Tantomile?" I looked up at her, the thought just coming to me.

She paused at her place by the table, a bowl in her hands and a look of slight concern on her face.

"You said that something would happen to ruin my day; was this it?"

"When did I say that?" She asked curiously, gently.

"Well, maybe I just picked it up from the way you spoke," I said. "But when I was asking if yesterday would be a good time to apologize to Bombalurina and Demeter, you got this look on your face that made me think something bad was going to happen. Was this it? Is that what you saw?"

Realization hit her, her eyebrows lifting and her mouth forming a silent, oh.

"No," she said gently, shaking her head. "It doesn't quite work like that; there was nothing physical for me to 'see,' I just...had a feeling."

She trailed off in thought, and I frowned.

"So, you had a feeling, but didn't know what about?" I couldn't keep the bitterness out of my voice.

She exchanged a look with Coricopat, and he shook his head once, a stern expression on his face. Tantomile sighed before turning her attention back to me.

"It's complicated," she said, and her tone was resolute, without the usual hesitation one would use to describe a complication.

"So, what Tugger did, that wasn't on your radar or anything?" I said, my irritation rising and a lump forming in my throat as I thought of it. An image was trying to force its way into my brain, but I shoved it away and instead came up with feelings instead. Vulnerability, loss, grief and pain. And anger. Lots and lots of anger.

"You just, had a bad feeling, and didn't think to act on it or warn somebody or..."

"Calm down, Persephone," Coricopat said quietly, his tone firm, but gentle; a command wrapped in his soothing tone.

 _I_ won't _calm down_! My mind shouted back, and I had to grit my teeth to try and keep the thought from becoming audible. I took a breath and walked over to the table and sat down, taking up my spoon and digging into the tuna that Coricopat has set down at my place. I ignored the looks the twins were giving each other, and the concern in their eyes as they stared at me, and instead focused on the tuna, my body tense and every muscle taut; prepared.

I was rewarded when a knock sounded at the door, and I was on my feet, hackles raised and tail fluffed up to the size of a feather duster, my chair clattering to the floor behind me. The twins blinked, but before anyone could react further, the door opened, and Demeter walked in, followed by a reluctant looking Bombalurina. At the sight of the sisters I relaxed, but only slightly, and Bomba raised an eyebrow as she took in the sight of my fallen chair, but thankfully chose not to comment on it.

"We have a…slight…situation in the Yard," she said, emphasizing the word 'slight' and giving a pointed look over to Demeter, who had moved over to the bookshelf again to scan the little red book.

Tantomile straightened, her eyes glazing over slightly, then they came back into focus sharply, and her lips pulled back over her teeth. Coricopat placed a paw/hand on her shoulder, worry etched into his features, but almost as soon as he made contact he stiffened as well, his eyes blurring then clearing, while a matching look of displeasure crossed his face.

"What?" I asked, my head darting back and forth between the twins and Bombalurina, who yielded nothing other than identical looks of disgust and a hint of fear from Bomba, which was odd. I looked to Demeter for an explanation, but she also looked slightly fearful, and Bomba quickly strove to regain control of the situation.

"Come on," she said, motioning towards the door, and just like that, we were all heading towards the clearing, sprinting on all fours to get there. We stopped abruptly, and I could see that nearly the entire Jellicle Tribe was gathered in a sort of scattered circle. On the fringes, I could see some of the kittens, who looked like tiny feather dusters all puffed up and tense, and I had to stifle a slight giggle at how cute they looked, especially Mistofolees, the small white on the tip of his tail standing out and adding to the effect.

Bombalurina grew more and more tense as we got closer, as did Demeter, though their expressions were starkly contrasting; while Bomba looked tense and angry, Demeter's look was slightly fearful, worry painting her features. Almost as soon as we reached the outer layer of cats, she broke from Bomblurina's grip and rushed forward, and the crowd parted to let her through, closing back around us as I ended up following with Bombalurina and the twins in tow. I slid to a stop just behind Demeter, who had been halted by an arm thrown out in front of her; an arm, which upon closer inspection, turned out to be attached to Munkustrap. He gave her a stern look out of the corner of his eyes, a warning clearly displayed in his expression.

I looked around, trying to see what was going on, and spotted Tugger, standing atop a pile of junk. His body was curled around the giant old fashioned radio-clock, his features turned sharply downwards, his mouth halfway between transitioning from a smirk to a scowl, and one arm was extended, a finger pointing to the opposite edge of the clearing. His eyes were dark with malice, and I followed his finger, feeling my heart sink into my stomach as I realized what was happening. The entire tribe had also turned, and were tightening their circle, more fur being raised and eyes narrowing as they glared into the shadows by the edge of the clearing.

I had to squint hard, but could just make out a huddled form, slowly making its way towards the group. Growling met my ears, as well as a few hisses, but my eyes remained locked on the cat that was beginning to make itself known. The shadow split, and now she was fully visible. She, of course, was Grizabella, the infamous Glamour Cat, and I tensed myself, knowing and hating what was about to happen. Her fur was tattered, and faded, but I could see hints of color beneath all the grey that I presumed must be dust and grime. I remembered in the beginning of the show, when all the cats were being introduced, a young Grizabella had appeared, looking a lot like Demeter, only slightly different, but either way, she had been beautiful.

I looked at the ragged Queen before me and wondered, not for the first time, what had happened to make her like this. My thoughts were broken by the chorus of hissing, and I noticed that one of the kittens had broken through, and was inches away from Grizabella's fingers, which were ghosting the fur of his chin, and the distinct bowtie that was synonymous for Mistofolees. He was pushed away by Munkustrap before she could fully touch him, and as he turned towards me I could see the look on his face: disgust, but also confusion, as though wondering why he felt this way. Munkustrap meanwhile, stood up straight and glared at Grizabella, his arms held out in a way that clearly stated that she was not welcome.

Another kitten ducked under Munkustrap's outstretched arm to take Mistofolees' place and started reaching with curious fingers towards Grizabella. It was Jemima, I realized, but Skimbleshanks swatted her paw away and herded her back to the safety of the circle. The crowd of cats around Grizabella had decreased slightly, though the ones that remained had tightened around her, hostility radiating from every face. Pouncival and Mistofolees had perched atop a stack of tires, and were watching with curiosity and also eagerness in their faces, anxious to see what would happen.

Grizabella started forward again, her head high and face blank, but eyes full of grief and pain. Bombalurina stepped forward to meet her, and the cats in front shifted to let her through, and I drew in a sharp breath as Bombalurina paused in front of Grizabella for a brief moment before pacing around her, a cold haughty expression on her face. Grizabella had tensed when Bombalurina approached, and her head turned slightly, following Bombalurina with her eyes as she stalked quietly behind her, before stopping on her opposite side and grimacing, her lips pulled back in a silent hiss as she turned her head away in disgust. Skimbleshanks crouched just behind Bomba, one paw-hand on Jemima's shoulder in front of him, just in case she decided to dart forward again.

I noticed the way Munkustrap stalked behind Grizabella, following her every step and keeping his arms held out, as though expecting her to dart forward and attack someone at any moment. Electra was the one who darted forward however, reaching out a paw, which was swatted away by Jennyanydots, nowhere near as nicely as Skimbleshanks had been with Jemima, though I chalked that up to the tenseness of the situation. Jenny whipped her head around to Grizabella, shaking it slowly in a warning before ushering Electra away. I felt Tantomile shuffle closer to me, and I paused in my staring to turn to her, and started briefly when I saw that she was looking directly at me, and not in the direction of the commotion. Her eyes were sharp and scrutinizing, and I heard her voice in my head, stern and surprisingly harsh.

 _"_ _Don't."_ She said, and I felt myself starting to protest, and unsure completely what she was saying that I was protesting. _"Don't,"_ she said again. _"What you're thinking now; don't do it."_

"I'm not…" I started to say, but was distracted by a flash of white, and turned my head to see Alonzo, slightly crouched with a twitching tail and outstretched arm, motioning towards Grizabella. My stomach clenched, and I felt a growl rising in my throat. I knew how this went. Grizabella looked up at him, hope filling her face and lifting the grief from her eyes briefly, and she held out a hesitant paw to him, and he nodded his head, motioning her closer. Behind her, I could see Carbucketty nodding his head as well, but his eyes held a mischievous light, and his grin was cruel, twisting his features into a mocking expression.

Alonzo motioned again, and Grizabella stepped closer, the hope so bright in her eyes it hurt to watch. But I did, and when she got close enough, Alonzo's upturned paw whipped around impossibly fast, claws extending and scratching her lower arm and the back of her paw. Instantly, she flinched away, betrayal and pain returning to her features, her face twisting until it looked as though she would cry, and Alonzo ran over to Carbucketty, both wearing matching expressions that were essentially like high fives, and Bomba, who was standing nearby, stepped away from them slightly, turning to watch them pass as they vanished into a small pipe.

I was starting to feel sick, watching the display of outright hatred and abuse, but Tantomile spoke again, out loud this time, her paw gently tapping my elbow. "Don't do it, Persephone. Actions have consequences, and not all of them are what they might seem."

I pretended not to know what she was talking about, ignoring her completely as I watched Demeter suddenly approach, and I felt a hint of relief, knowing that at least Demeter didn't seem to feel as much resentment as the others did. She reached out gentle hands, her fingers curled away from Grizabella and reaching as though to stroke her face, and I noticed that Munkustrap had darted to the side, crouching down low to the ground as though ready to attack any second. It shocked me, really, because I just couldn't even see how he thought Grizabella was somehow a threat that warranted an attack like that. Demeter stopped suddenly, dashing a few feet away and hunching her shoulders, glancing at Grizabella with a tortured expression, before her eyes flickered over to Munkustrap, and she turned away, instinctively making her way over to Bombalurina, who placed a comforting arm around her sister's shoulder.

Munkustrap still crouched warily in front of Grizabella, and she now turned her attention to him, opening her mouth and starting to plead her case, so to speak. Or, sing, rather.

"Remark the cat who hesitates towards you. And the light of the door, which opens on her like a grin."

Munkustrap straightened, looking offended, his shoulders stiffening. Behind me, there was a shifting, and I turned to see Etcetera and Victoria exchange a shocked look, before curiously approaching Grizabella, who turned her bitter gaze to them.

"You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand!"

Jellylorum quickly followed after the kittens, and Grizabella held her gaze, her eyes shining with unshed tears and a grim sort of determination, which was overall ignored as Jellylorum beat a hasty retreat, with the two Queen-kits in tow. Cassandra made the mistake of standing up, drawing Grizabella's attention to her, and her next words were directed at the Sphinx, whose pale eyes flashed and whose face twisted into a hiss, clearly affronted that Grizabella had even dared speak to her.

"And you see the corner of her eyes twist, like a crooked hand!"

Cassandra slunk gracefully up behind Munkustrap, seeming to use him as a shield from Grizabella's eyes and words, before slipping away into the edges of the clearing, disappearing from view. Munkustrap watched Cassandra leave, then turned slowly to glare at Grizabella, who straightened and gave him a slightly cocky look, as though daring him to do something about her presence. There was no doubt in my mind that he would have, too, but she started walking past him, head high, and he stepped aside to allow her to continue past him, his eyes tracking her movements closely.

Demeter suddenly stepped away from Bomba's arms, and started to sing; a low, haunted note in her voice, which fit the situation perfectly.

"She haunted many a low resort, near the grimy road of Tottenham Court. She flitted about the 'No Man's Land' from the Rising Sun, to the Friend at Hand. And the postman sighed as he scratched his head: 'You'd really have thought she ought to be dead.'" Demeter drew a sharp breath before continuing, sadly. "And who would ever suppose that cat was Grizabella: the Glamour Cat?"

Her song was almost like an answer to my questions, and I watched as Bomba drew herself closer to her sister once more, wrapping her arm around her shoulder and staring after the cat in question, who was limping slightly, but steadily making her way towards the other side of the clearing. The rest of the Tribe was regrouping; those who still remained were now forming a half circle barrier behind Grizabella: even if she had changed her mind and decided to turn around, she'd have to get through them to go anywhere else.

"Grizabella the Glamour Cat," Bombalurina hissed, her voice husky and low, a look of sorrow and disdain on her face.

"Grizabella the Glamour Cat," Demeter repeated with her, and the rest of the Tribe began to close ranks as Grizabella continued on.

"Who would ever suppose that cat...was Grizabella, the Glamour Cat?" I whispered with the rest of the Jellicles, watching her leave and wishing that I had had enough courage to follow through with my vague and hasty decision, but vowing that next time, if there were a next time, I wouldn't stand by like I had this time.

There were only a few cats still left in the clearing, among them, Munkustrap, who was still prowling the edges of the clearing, the fur on the back of his neck slightly on end as he paced on all fours. Demeter and Bomba were still hovering near the pile of tires that Pouncival and Mistofolees had vacated a while ago. Bomba was casting suspicious looks around the clearing, and quite a few of those looks ended up being aimed at me, while Demeter simply stared down at the ground with a slightly vacant expression, though I could tell by the way her tail twitched that she was on still on edge. A low growling met my ears, and I was instantly made aware of the fact that Tantomile was also still there, and also upset with me for some reason.

I turned to face her, and was startled by the scowl pulling at her normally calm features. "What were you thinking?" She snapped, hands on her hips, and I stammered, taken aback.

"I wasn't…"

"No, you weren't, were you?" She bit back before I could finish.

"I was just…"

"I _know_ what you were trying to do, and the only thing you would have succeeded in doing is destroying the way of life here in the Junkyard."

 _Well that's a little overdramatic isn't it?_ I thought sarcastically, and Tantomile's eyes flashed briefly in anger before returning to normal, and I silently cursed myself for not having thought through the whole 'mind reading' thing.

"Tantomile, I'm sorry," I said, sincerely. "I wasn't trying to ruin anything, I just couldn't stand…."

"I know," she said, and her tone had softened slightly, understanding in her eyes. "But you really _don't_ know, which makes it all the more necessary to keep you from doing something that you'll regret."

I honestly didn't think I would have regretted it, but I kept that thought to myself. I hope.

"Right," I said sharply, and I could see a guarded sort of look come into Tantomile's face at my tone. "Well, I'll try and be more careful next time."

I turned and jogged a few paces before dropping to all fours and sprinting across the Junkyard, blindly allowing my cat instincts to take over while I tried to regain control of my feelings. I kind of felt bad for how I had snapped at Tantomile; she hadn't really deserved it, but I couldn't get over what I had just witnessed. The Grizabella scene was always an intense one - regardless of what version of the show it was, the scene never failed to bring out emotions, and most of them weren't exactly good. It was also the pinnacle scene for the Jellicle Tribe in general, showing that they weren't as perfect as everyone thought they were.

I turned down a path, vaguely registering that I was lost, and that my surrounding were growing darker, but I kept going, not really caring. I thought of what I knew, and didn't know so far about the Cats, and about what could possibly be the cause of their hatred of Grizabella. One of the theories I had read was that it was basically like high school, and the Jellicles were simply being high schoolers with their cliques, looking down on anyone they viewed as different or weird. Another was that Grizabella had broken the unspoken rule that it was not acceptable to leave the Tribe and or/ to mingle with other tribes, which she had done, and thus was being shunned for that.

I thought about Demeter, and how she had reached out to Grizabella, but shied away out of fear. I wondered if it was fear of her, or fear of being judged. Maybe a little bit of both. And Bomba…. I thought about what Tumblebrutus had told me, that Bomba's mother had abandoned her and that she had been taken in by Demeter's mother…then it hit me how much Demeter resembled Grizabella, and I nearly tripped as everything clicked.

"Well that explains…a bit." I muttered, crawling under a low arch and finding myself in a small hide away.

It explained at least, why Demeter and Bombalurina resented her so much, but not quite everything made sense, especially when it came to the rest of the tribe. I sighed, curling up tighter in the small space.

"It stinks, doesn't it?"

A quiet voice in my ear made me jump violently, and I hit my head on the top of the hideaway, wincing and blinking to clear my vision as I tried to figure out who had spoken. A low chuckle sounded just next to me, and I could just make out a dark form huddled in the space with me.

"Sorry," the cat spoke again. (Of course it was a cat, this was the Junkyard for crying out loud!) "I didn't mean to frighten you."

I squinted, finally able to see the dark chocolate Queen blending in with the darkness around us, and I was grateful again for the night vision being a cat allowed me.

"Exotica!" I gasped, recognizing the distinct striped pattern on her face and around her eyes. She smiled, not showing teeth, and barely even raising her lips, and yet her smile seemed to light up her eyes, sparkling onyx in the darkness.

"So you've heard of me," she said, the slightest hint of a thick accent highlighting the amusement in her tone.

"Uh, a little bit," I said with a slight chuckle. "I didn't know this was your space. Sorry about that."

"No apologies needed," she answered, the smile never leaving her eyes or voice. "But what is it you were running from?"

Her question reminded me of her original question, the one she had asked when I had first run in here.

"What stinks?" I asked her in return, and she gave me a knowing sort of look, her eyes twinkling.

"The thing you're running from, of course."

I opened my mouth to respond, but couldn't think of anything other than, "Touché."

She laughed without really laughing; her eyes laughed, and her mouth lifted in a smile, and I ducked my head a little in embarrassment.

"I wasn't running from anything," I started, but she raised an eyebrow at me, and I sighed. "Grizabella showed up," I admitted begrudgingly, deciding to get straight to the point. Her smile faded, both from her eyes and from her mouth, and she nodded her head slightly, a solemn look coming onto her face.

"Ah, I see," she said, and I felt a hint of irritation and disappointment that even she wasn't unbiased about the former Glamour Cat.

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"Was she how you thought she'd be?" Exotica asked quietly, choosing not to comment on my tone.

"What?"

"Grizabella," she clarified.

"I don't know, she didn't say anything, and I didn't get a chance to really form any opinions other than the ones that everyone else was trying to force on me."

"I don't recall any forcing," Exotica said lightly.

I frowned, my eyebrows furrowing. "You were there?" I hadn't seen her, neither as a human watching the scene or a cat living it.

She drew herself up slightly, a mischievous smile in her eyes. "Of course I was."

I sighed again, deciding not to question it. Exotica simply stretched elegantly and settled back down, watching me expectantly.

"I don't know," I finally burst out, answering an unspoken question. "It's just…I don't know! None of it is how I thought it would be. Especially…" I hesitated, then settled with: "Grizabella."

"Hm." Exotica said in response, and there were so many responses in that one little hum. "But you can't really decide, can you? Since you really don't know what to expect yourself."

"No, I guess not." I admitted, and she hummed again, her eyes twinkling.

"So?" I pressed, when she remained silent. "What should I do?"

"Nothing to do," she responded cryptically. "Just have to wait it out, see what happens next."

I blinked, feeling overwhelmed…and a little dizzy. Exotica's face blurred before me, and I could see her eyes frowning in concern before everything went black, and a cold voice was whispering in my ear.

 ** _"_** ** _Yes, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we, Persephone?"_** The voice turned my name into an insult, and I shivered at the sound of it, feeling more than seeing the smirk within the tone.

"Persephone?" Exotica's voice reached my ears, distant and muffled. Her light accent made it sound like Purse-eff-phonee, and I thought it was a neat way to say my name.

"Hmm?" I said, blinking quickly as she came back into focus.

"You went blurry," she said, and I shook my head a little.

" _I_ went blurry?" I repeated, and she nodded, the concern still prominent in her expression.

"You saw something." It wasn't a question.

"I…not really."

She raised an eyebrow again, and I was really starting to hate that knowing look.

"It was nothing," I tried to convince her. "Nothing to see."

"Oh? A voice then." She sounded 100% sure of herself, but not in a smug way, and I couldn't help but think about how random this conversation was; from Grizabella to voices in my head. Well, A Voice. A Voice that belonged to a person I really didn't want to think about.

"It will be alright, you know," Exotica broke through my thoughts again, and I didn't even bother questioning her train of thought. "You just have to give it time. But it will be alright."

She nodded once, a reassuring smile playing about her lips, and I smiled back, grateful for her comfort, and for having met her, despite how strange or random it might have been.

"Thanks, Exotica," I said, starting to crawl back towards the opening of the crawl space.

"You're welcome, Persephone." She said my name in that fun way I liked.

"Maybe we can talk again sometime?" I said hopefully, and her smile widened, brightening in her eyes before extending to lift her mouth.

"Sometime."

I took it as a yes, and decided I would pay extra attention to small spaces and shadows from now on, in case she was there.


	9. flashbacks, fires, and finding answers

**Hey guys! Hope I'm not too late updating for you. We're starting to get close to where I've written ahead, so updates may be a little slower. I'm still one chapter ahead *cue Aladdin* so there's no need to panic yet, but I just wanted to give you a heads up.**

 **To my reviewers! Evelyn Knight: I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter. There's definitely more to Grizabella than what brief glimpses we're shown in the movie/musical. I had fun digging through all the theories, and I've seen variations of yours among them. I'm glad you liked my inclusion of Exotica. She was a character I didn't know existed until I started researching the cats and the Junkyard, and I just had to include her. :)**

 **HaveYouBeenAnAlumnus: Love your username by the way. Yeah, I'm trying to avoid blowing their minds too much yet, but things are brewing, so I'm not sure how long I'll be able to avoid that.**

 **Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! A lot more gets revealed and things start getting interesting as we lead up to the ball. ;) I look forward to hearing what you think in the reviews.**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

The first thing I noticed when I made it back to the den I shared with the twins, was that both Coricopat and Tantomile were waiting for me outside, equally grim expressions on their faces. I paused, then continued up the path towards Tantomile, who stepped aside to allow me in the door, but the look on her face had me worried.

"I feel like a teenager getting caught sneaking into the house after a party," I tried joking as I stood in the kitchen, a nervous chuckle bubbling in my throat.

"Persephone, we need to talk," Tantomile said in response, and I shifted anxiously before sitting down in the chair she motioned to.

"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" I asked quietly sinking slightly in my seat.

"No," Tantomile said, but her tone didn't quite convince me, and Cori was silent as usual, but his arms were crossed, and his silence was more solemn than his usual thoughtful silence.

"I just wanted to try and figure out what exactly it was you were planning on doing back there in the clearing," Tantomile continued, and I felt my guard start to rise instinctively, my previous irritation slowly returning.

"I wasn't really planning anything," I said carefully. "I…I don't know, I just felt bad," I finished lamely, and I could see Coricopat's expression turn slightly skeptical, but he wasn't frowning so much, and I was grateful at least for that. Tantomile was silent as she stared at me, and I wondered if she was trying to gauge my intentions by reading my thoughts. I honestly wasn't even sure what my intentions had been; I had thought that if I had reached out to her, if I had touched her and accepted her, then the others would too, but I realized now that it wouldn't be that easy.

"No, it wouldn't," Tantomile said sternly, but I could tell by the look in her eyes that she wasn't mad anymore, and I deflated a little, relieved.

"You have to understand, Persephone," Coricopat broke in quietly. "Things in the Junkyard are a little strained. We are trying, but we aren't perfect. But you have to understand that things work the way they do for a reason. You might not understand it now, but maybe in time."

* * *

He had sounded so certain, so sure of himself, and of me. I could try to understand, the same way they could try, but in the end, we both failed. I sighed to myself, frustrated, and unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in the pile of blankets. Finally, I flung them off of me, stretching quickly and creeping out of the spare room of the twins' den. I slipped out the door and walked into the yard, then broke into a run once I had made it a few feet away from the door.

I ran to the other side of the Junkyard, past the 'alley' where I had been confronted by Bombalurina, until I found myself at the place where I had found Exotica earlier that day. It wasn't hard to make out in the dark, but I still found myself squinting a little to try and make out her form among the shadows. There was nothing there, and yet when I turned around to go back I heard her voice behind me.

"Looking for something?"

I whirled around on my paws, almost tripping, and heard her laugh softly. There was a shift of movement, and two eyes peered at me from a hollow spot inside a barrel.

"Exotica," I gasped, placing a paw on my chest. "You know we really should put a bell on you or something, so you can't keep sneaking up on people like that."

Her eyes flickered, and I wondered if I had accidentally insulted her, but then she hummed, and I realized she was amused, or maybe thoughtful.

"What is it you were looking for?" She asked, sliding over, and I crawled into the barrel beside her, tucking myself in tight so I wouldn't bump her.

"I was looking for you," I admitted. "But also, I guess, just looking for answers."

"Oh?" She said, and I could feel her eyes searching me, finding questions I didn't know I had. "This is about Grizabella."

It wasn't a question, but not quite a statement, either. I shrugged a little, my tail twitching behind me. "Well, yes. But also…other things." I trailed off vaguely, not wanting to bring up what I knew was a little more than just a sore subject.

She stared at me then, and I shifted under the intensity of her gaze.

"Persephone," she finally said, and I looked up at her. "Can I show you something?"

I nodded, albeit a little warily, and she came closer each took a hold of one of my paws, her eyes closing as she concentrated on something I couldn't comprehend. I decided after a moment to close my eyes too, and when I opened them again, I was standing in the clearing of the Junkyard, right in the middle of a circle of kittens.

They ranged in size, age and color, and I guessed that some were about the human equivalent of 12 or 13, while some of the smaller ones were still young; maybe 5 or 6 in human years. I spotted two of the older kittens, black with white hatch markings, and instantly stepped closer. "Cori? Tanto?"

They didn't answer, but I heard Exotica's voice in my ear. "You're only here to observe, Persephone."

I turned, but couldn't see her, though I hadn't really expected to.

"What game are we going to play?" Coricopat asked, and I turned back to see him leaning forward a little in anticipation, Tantomile copying his movement beside him.

"We've been standing here forever and still no one can make up their mind," she said, looking around the circle.

I followed her gaze, walking around and laughing a little as I recognized the younger versions of the Cats I knew and loved. Demeter and Bomba also stood side by side on the opposite half of the circle. Their red and white fur was clear of any blemishes or scratches, and it was strange for me to see them without their iconic hatch marks.

"I voted we play tag," a young male spoke up smoothly, and I turned to see a sleek black Tom-kit, the smallest hints of a spotted mane ruffling around his ears.

Demeter rolled her eyes, huffing in annoyance. "You always want to play tag."

"Well, I am the fastest runner," Tugger boasted unabashedly, drawing himself up proudly and then stumbling as it seemed he was suddenly pushed. The other kittens chuckled, but Tugger scowled and shoved the smoky striped Tom beside him.

"Not funny, Munkus!" he hissed, as the other kit also tripped.

"I didn't do anything!" Munkustrap protested hotly, shoving Tugger back. Demeter stepped gracefully out of the way as the two boys tumbled over each other, hissing and batting with sheathed paws. The circle split to allow them to break through and continue wrestling in a less crowded area of the clearing, then reformed into a smaller shape.

"Ok, so they're out," another kitten spoke up, brushing a tuft of fur out of his eyes, one of which was spotted. "We have a vote for hide and seek, and for tag…."

"And freeze tag!" A pale striped Queen-kit cut in, glaring at Tumblebrutus (or was it Pouncival? I couldn't tell.)

"Freeze tag counts as tag, Electra," he sighed, shaking his head. "And anyway…"

"We'll be standing here all day if you don't decide soon," a new voice spoke up, causing Tumble/Pouncival to throw his hands up in exasperation at being interrupted again. Then his frustration turned to anger as he glared at the shape slinking shyly into the group.

He was about as old as Munkustrap, still an adolescent, but there was no mistaking the violent red and orange fur, or miss the gleam in emerald green eyes, a smile hanging on the edge of his lips. "I say we compromise and play hide-and-seek-tag."

"No one asked you!" Tumble/Pouncival snapped, at the same time Electra asked, "What's that?"

"It's simple, really," Macavity said, eloquent even in his youth. "Someone is chosen to count, and they're the 'Seekers.' Everyone else hides, and when the time is up, the Seeker tries to find them. If the Seeker finds you, you run to the base and they try and tag you. If they do manage to tag you, then you have to freeze where you are until someone else comes and tags you again to unfreeze you."

He glanced around the circle expectantly, and I could see the others considering it. "How do you win?" Demeter asked, and I noticed the way she specifically seemed to be asking _him_ how he would win.

Macavity smiled again, and Demeter scowled. "If everyone is tagged, then the Seeker wins. But if no one can be found or tagged, then everyone who was hiding wins."

"What do you think, Pounce?" Tugger asked, brushing himself off as he came back to join the circle, Munkustrap trailing not too far behind.

I nodded to myself as my confusion was finally cleared up, and looked to Pouncival to see what he would decide. He frowned, his small eyes narrow as he looked at Macavity, who widened his own eyes and lifted his brows in a seemingly innocent expression.

"Fine," Pouncival finally spat out. "But _you_ get to Seek." He poked Macavity hard in the chest, causing him to step back to avoid falling, and I realized with surprise that Macavity was actually shorter than Pouncival, shorter than most of the kittens, in fact. The other kittens scattered, though Coricopat and Tantomile stayed and waited until Macavity had covered his eyes before backing away quietly.

I wanted to stay and see what Macavity did, but I felt a tugging in my gut as the kittens went further away, and Exotica's voice spoke in my ear. "You're linked to them, Persephone. You see what they did, which means you have to stay with them."

I felt a little disappointed, but I followed after the twins anyway, dropping to all fours to run alongside them. I heard Macavity call ready-or-not, and looking over my shoulder, I saw him start to sprint after us. Coricopat saw him too, and he nudged Tantomile's shoulder.

"He's coming!" he cried, trying to urge her on faster. "We have to…"

But I never found out what it was they had to do, because Macavity leaped, paws extended, grabbing both twins by the tail and freezing them instantly where they were. The twins cried out in surprise, but they didn't stumble and fall as I expected them to. They just froze, and I realized as Macavity strolled around to face them with a cheeky smile that that was his plan. Coricopat growled, and Tantomile hissed at him, and I knew if she had been able to move she would have smacked the smile right off him.

"That's cheating!" she hissed, but Macavity just shrugged.

"We never said no magic, and I couldn't take a chance, you see."

He dropped to all four feet and ran off, laughing in the face of their curses. "Don't worry!" he called back over his shoulder. "It's only temporary; you'll unfreeze in a bit!"

"How kind of him to only make it temporary," Coricopat muttered, and Tantomile grimaced.

"It could have been worse," she allowed, but Coricopat shushed her.

"You'll jinx it!" he said, and they both fell silent. I could hear laughing and squealing from the clearing behind us, then crying and cursing as the others were tagged and realized the trick. A black streak passed in front of my eyes, then faltered and came back.

"Cori? Tanto?"

"Tugger!" Tantomile cried, genuinely delighted to see him for what I'm sure must have been the first time in her life. "Quick, unfreeze us!"

Tugger crept cautiously forward, then stood, furrowing his brows as he stared at them hovering an inch above the ground, paws splayed out in the middle of a run. "How are you doing that?" he sounded terrified and impressed all at once.

"We're not," Coricopat grumbled. "Macavity tricked us; he's actually freezing when he tags, it's not just the game."

"So how do I unfreeze you?" Tugger cocked his head, uncertainty on his face.

"Just tag us again, I don't think he would have been that mean to make it so we couldn't be unfrozen again."

Tugger nodded, and carefully tapped Tantomile's shoulder. She dropped lightly onto her feet, her tail twitching. He did the same to Coricopat, and all three cats sighed in relief as they looked at each other.

"Who else is left?" Coricopat asked him, once the danger of being frozen had passed.

"I think it's just me, Munkus and Deme," he said. "Macavity found my hiding spot, but he wasn't fast enough to tag me and I got away."

The twins exchanged a look at Tugger's words, standing in unison and causing Tugger to do the same. "We have to find and unfreeze everyone else," Coricopat said, and Tugger nodded anxiously.

"I saw them as I was running. I didn't think to unfreeze them; I was kind of trying to save myself." He admitted this a little sheepishly, fluffing his mane in embarrassment. "But now that I know, I'll definitely try…"

"Wait," Tantomile said sharply, holding out a hand to stop him, her head turning to the right and ears pricked smartly forward.

"Tanto, what?" Cori began, but then he too stiffened, following her gaze. Their eyes seemed to lose focus, and Tugger shifted uneasily before the twins suddenly spoke up, their voices echoing each other in urgency.

"Fire."

The one word made Tugger's fur stand on end, and the twins blinked, staring at what was now unmistakably a thick plume of black smoke, coming from somewhere beyond the clearing.

"Isn't that…?"

"Jellylorum's Den!" Tantomile finished for her brother, and without another word, all three kittens were off, sprinting as fast as they could towards the smoke. I followed, catching up and then overtaking them within a minute. I slowed as I neared the fire, letting them pass me, blinking the sting of ash from my eyes and trying not to gag as stray wisps of smoke entered my mouth.

"Munkus, you're ok!" Tugger cried in relief, launching himself at the grey Tom-kit, who stood just outside the ring of adults. Everyone had gathered; Skimbleshanks and Jennyanydots, Jellylorum and a slightly younger (but still aged) Gus, and…I had to blink to make sure it really was her, Grizabella: young and considerably less worn than I had last seen her. She was right there in the midst of the group, and though there were a few stray glances in her direction, they weren't hostile.

The adults were all moving, shifting and passing pails and cups and anything that would hold water back and forth, slowly and painstakingly putting out the flames. All the kittens from the clearing were present, except for Macavity and Demeter, and Bomba was being held back by Pouncival and Munkustrap, preventing her from running into the burning den to look for her.

It was only then that I realized someone was crying, harsh screams and broken sobs coming from past the ring of adults. I felt a sick feeling settle in my stomach when Macavity's name was hissed and shouted out.

"What happened?" Etcetera was whining, Electra trying to comfort her as best she could. "How did the fire start?"

Munkustrap's eyes were hard when Bomba finally gave up and fell to her knees, though she still strained to see what was happening. "Macavity did it," he said darkly, and a stunned sort of silence went through the group of kittens. I noticed the adults closest to us stiffened, and Grizabella's ears went back against her head, though she kept her eyes on the center of the group, which was shifting to reveal two ash covered and smoking forms.

"Demeter!" Bomba screamed, launching into an impossible run, her arms wrapping around the smaller Queen, paws searching for any signs of damage.

"She's fine, lass," Skimbleshanks said gently, trying to usher her away from the still smoking wreckage of the den. "Just a little shaken, but she's fine."

The sobs still hadn't stopped, and I realized now that they were coming from the other trembling form, who I knew without a doubt must be Macavity, and was only confirmed when his name was hissed from one of the adults. Macavity knelt in a pile of ash, cradling his paws to his chest and whimpering, his lips moving as he tried to speak up, but the only thing that came out were the broken cries I had heard before.

"What happened?" Jennyanydots asked, and though her eyes were on Macavity, I realized she was asking Demeter when the Queen-kit answered.

"I don't know," her voice was hoarse from the smoke and muffled by her sister's grip on her. "We were playing tag and…and…" her gaze flicked briefly to Macavity before darting away again. "I don't know."

The adults shifted and split further, bringing the other kittens into the group, hoping for clarification. The twins exchanged another look, and Tantomile shook her head anxiously, glancing at the trembling form of Macavity. Jenny caught the look and repeated her question to them, and Coricopat frowned a little before answering carefully.

"We were playing freeze tag," he began, then hesitated before continuing. "We were running, and Macavity came after us because we were the last to leave, and not fast enough to avoid being tagged." He stopped again, unsure how to continue, and Tugger pushed his way forward, explaining for him.

"I found them frozen, but they were really frozen, and couldn't move, and we realized that Macavity had tricked us and was using his magic to make everyone freeze for real when he tagged them."

Eyes narrowed and ears flattened as the adults absorbed the information, but a soft whimper from the kitten in question drew their attention.

"It was…was just a game…I didn't mean…." He broke off with another muffled sob, clutching his paws even tighter to his chest, his own ears falling as he took in the anger and hatred all around him.

"I always knew there was something…" Jellylorum hissed darkly, but was cut off at a soft word from Gus.

I glanced over at her, feeling a twinge of anger myself. I looked behind me at the huddle of kittens, all of whom were exchanging anxious glances, as well as nudging and whispering, but no one was making any move to say or do anything in his defense.

"What do you propose we do?" Skimbleshanks asked softly, though his voice held an edge as he glanced over at Macavity.

"Well that's obvious, isn't it?" Jellylorum answered, her eyes blazing with an intensity that matched the fire that engulfed her house.

"What are you saying?" Gus asked, and I couldn't tell if he was asking genuinely, or from a lack of hearing.

"I think you know," she said, not answering him so much as everyone else, her face pinched and cold as she looked around the clearing at the other adults.

"We can't," Skimble said, shock evident in his face and voice.

"Jell, he's just a kitten," Jenny gasped, a paw flying up to cover her mouth.

"No," she replied. "He's not. He's..."

"It was an accident," Gus tried again to join the conversation, but Jellylorum cut down his response too.

"And what if I or any of the others had been in there? What if one of _my_ kittens, or yours, Jenny, had been playing nearby when the den had gone up?"

Jenny worked her mouth a few times, at a loss for what to say, and Jellylorum nodded a bit, a vindictive sort of look on her face. The adults turned almost as one to face the young kitten, though Skimbleshanks turned away, shooing and guiding the other kittens away from the scene, muttering in a grieved undertone how someone would have to tell Old Deuteronomy.

My stomach lurched in fear, and Macavity whimpered as they closed around him. Then an orange streak darted forward, hissing loudly and placing itself between Macavtiy and the furious adults. The orange tabby hissed again, crouching down and placing a paw on Macavity's shoulder, pushing him back and shielding him from view.

"No one touches him!"

"Grizabella, what-?" I heard someone gasp, but she only growled in response, ears pinning back against her head as she shifted to conceal Macavity even further.

"No one. Touches. Him." Her voice was low with intensity, and caused a few of the cats to pause, if only for a moment. Even Skimbleshanks had stopped in the middle of herding the kittens away, and Demeter's eyes were wide with fear as she stared over her shoulder at Macavity.

Then the spell was broken, and the adults surged forward once more, though Grizabella hissed and swiped at anyone who came close enough. But they were more than her, and finally she turned, her teeth closing gently around the scruff of Macavity's neck, and sprinted out of the clearing and towards the other side of the Junkyard. No one followed them, but she ran anyway, and disappeared from view in a matter of seconds, Macavity bouncing lightly against her chest as she went.

"Follow her," Exotica whispered in my ear, and I jumped, having almost forgotten that she was there. I dropped to all four feet, then hesitated, glancing back over my shoulder at the adults. I turned just in time to see Skimbleshanks sprinting towards the back of the yard where a brick wall loomed. He leapt over it and was gone, and I turned back to chase after Grizabella.

I ran in the same direction she had, ducking and weaving through the towers and piles of trash. Eventually, the piles grew closer together, and I pricked my ears forward, straining to hear over my ragged breathing. A soft scrambling sound, along with a whimper met my ears, and I knew I was going the right way. I caught a flash of orange fur, and ran out into a clearing just in time to see Grizabella crawling into a thick metal pipe.

I followed, blinking when something heavy swatted my face, then relaxed when I realized it was just a curtain. I exited the pipe and found myself in a large circular den. It was warm, with a slightly spiced smell which reminded me of gingerbread and the holidays. The room was sparsely decorated, with only two tables in the main part of the den; one large one shoved along the farthest wall, and a smaller round one which Grizabella was placing Macavity down on as I entered. The walls weren't painted, but pictures hung from the walls, all of them landscapes, and all of them places I had never seen before.

Another whimper from Macavity drew my attention, and I turned to see Grizabella fussing over him by the table. She said something to him, her voice too low for me to hear, but he nodded, and her ears went back. She darted from the room and returned moments later with a large plastic box, which she placed down on the table beside him with a thump. She opened it and emptied piles of bandages and tubs of some kind of medicine onto the table beside him.

"Grizzle," Macavity whispered into the silence, wringing his paws anxiously. "Am I a monster?"

Grizabella froze, turning sharply from the medicine to look at him. "Who told you that you are?"

"No one," he said quickly, but she gave him a stern look and he dropped his head, a trace of hurt in his voice as he whispered, "Everyone."

She sighed, and came over to him, kneeling down so she was level with him. "Look at me, darling."

He sniffed and did the opposite, lowering his head even further. She took his face gently in her paws and raised it to look in his eyes.

"You are not a monster, Macavity," she said firmly. "And anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong."

"But Jellylorum's den…" he began, then broke off, wringing his paws anxiously before wincing in pain.

Grizabella took hold of his paws and examined them closely before opening one of the jars and slathering a thick cream that smelled strongly of mint all over them. When they were sufficiently covered, she closed the jar and began to bind them in heavy white bandages, her paws gentle and nimble as she worked.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice firm but not harsh. He shifted anxiously, making to wring his paws again but was prevented by her own paws, which tied off the strip of the bandages before moving to clean up the medicine.

"It was an accident," he said again, his voice so low I could barely hear. Grizabella finished cleaning up and sat next to him on the table, placing an arm around his shoulders reassuringly.

"We were playing," he said softly, his eyes growing distant as he spoke. "And I was making everyone freeze. I didn't mean anything by it, I just…wanted to try…and I thought it would be funny to see their faces."

"But they didn't think it was funny, Mac," Grizabella said, her voice soft but stern. "It scared them, because they didn't know it was a game. They thought…"

"That I'm a monster," he finished, and she bristled.

"Stop that." She turned to face him, her eyes sharp. "You are not a monster."

"But _they_ think so," he insisted. "And Demeter thinks so, too."

"Demeter?" Grizabella repeated, confusion entering her features before clarifying. "I see."

I didn't, not quite, but Macavity frowned at the look she gave him before continuing, rubbing the bandages nervously.

"We were the only ones left, I think. Maybe Tugger was too, and Munkustrap, but I didn't know that at first. It was just me and Demeter. I was going to freeze her too, but then I thought instead…if it was just us…." His voice trailed off again as Grizabella gave him another stern look.

"Macavity," she said slowly, her voice echoing the sternness of her eyes.

"I asked!" he protested, catching her expression. "I did ask! I just…didn't think she'd say no."

"And let me guess, you tried anyway?" She said knowingly, and Macavity shrunk a little, embarrassed and hurt as he nodded.

"She got mad. Then I got mad, and I tried to freeze her but she was already running away, so then I reached out and…and then the fire." His face fell, and so did Grizabella's, her grip tightening around his shoulder before falling away.

"I didn't mean to," he whispered again, dejected. "It just…I can't control it, sometimes, but I've never made more than sparks or little flames. But this time…."

"You're just lucky no one got hurt," Grizabella scolded him, standing from the table to face him.

"I know," he said quietly, sniffing again and dropping his head.

"And you can't just force someone to like you," she added, glaring at him slightly. " _Especially_ not with magic."

He nodded glumly, rubbing his paws across his eyes harshly. "I know, Grizzle. I'm _sorry_."

She sighed, and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. "It's not me you should be apologizing to."

He nodded against her chest, bringing his own, smaller arms to wrap around her as best her could. "I'll apologize to Deme as soon as I see her."

"And you'll need to apologize to Jellylorum as well," she said. Macavity stiffened against her and tried to pull away, but she refused to let him, and instead gripped him a little tighter.

"But she hates me!" he whimpered into her fur, his voice tight with fear. "And I burned her den, and…and…"

She shushed him, squeezing his shoulder gently with her paw. "It will be alright, Mac, I promise," she whispered. "I won't let anyone hurt you."

He was silent, and she lowered her head to rub it gently against his. "You know I won't, Mac. No one is going to hurt you."

Macavity nodded, raising his face to hers and purring softly as he rubbed against her. She smiled, and hummed under her breath to calm him. They settled into a comfortable silence, each content in the other, if only for the moment. Then Macavity's ears went back suddenly, and Grizabella turned quickly, her fur ruffling as she faced the door. A large Tom was standing in the entrance, and I felt a surge of fear before I recognized the smoky fur and dark stripes.

"Deuteronomy." Grizabella relaxed, though Macavity grew even tenser as he stepped fully into the den.

"Grizzle," he acknowledged with a bow of his head. His voice was full of grief, his expression pained as he turned to the kitten now trembling in her arms. "Macavity."

He opened his mouth to say something more, but I couldn't hear what it was. Macavity's eyes grew wide, and Grizabella looked like she was hissing. Or yelling. The room spun suddenly, and I blinked as dizziness made me sway on my feet. Fog filled my head, blurring the scene and making everything dim, but I still heard Macavity's voice, full of hurt and pain and fear as he screamed.

"You _promised_! You promised me!"

"Macavity!" Grizabella's voice answered, equally pained.

"I hate you!"

There was another scream, an endless, wordless noise of anger and pain, and then it all went dark, a curtain of fog descending and taking it all away.

* * *

When my head cleared and my eyes opened again, I was back in the barrel with Exotica, who was staring at me with an unreadable expression on her face.

"I…What was that?" I gasped, shifting a bit to restore feeling to my feet.

"A memory," she answered quietly, her voice distant, as though she were still remembering it herself. "A defining moment."

"I got that, but exactly…"

"What did you see?" Exotica cut me off, her voice firm but not harsh.

I blinked, then frowned, hearing it all echoing back in my head. "Macavity and Grizabella…." I began, still stunned.

"No, go back further," she urged. "The kittens; what did you notice about them?"

"Uh…they couldn't decide on a game?"

She gave me a look, and I huffed a little, knowing that wasn't what she wanted to hear. I closed my eyes again, trying to put myself back in the moment.

"I noticed when Tugger and Munkustrap were fighting. Tugger was pushed, and thought it was his fault. But I noticed how Munkustrap didn't move. None of the kittens moved."

"Except…" she prompted, and my brow furrowed as I thought.

"Macavity," I whispered, opening my eyes again. "When he came in."

She hummed in approval. "A bit of an antagonist even then," she mused quietly, a sad sort of smile playing at her lips. "What else did you notice?"

"Demeter and Bomba," I said instantly. "They weren't…I mean, they didn't have any…" I faltered, unsure how to say they hadn't had any marks without bringing up a touchy subject.

"Yes," Exotica said, hearing and understanding my hesitance, her bitter-sweet smile growing a little. "And what else?"

"Macavity was very interested in Demeter; trying to impress her, or…something. Is that what caused the fire?"

"What did you notice about the adults?" Exotica asked, ignoring my question.

I frowned, but thought anyway. "They were quick to turn on Macavity, as if without being told they knew it had something to do with him."

"What, specifically, about him?" She pressed, and I tried to think.

"His magic," the realization hit me, and she nodded, her lips pressed tightly together.

"It was new to us, then. Even the twins hadn't come into their magic fully, so there weren't very many who understood how it worked."

"But what about Mistofolees?" I asked, confused. "Didn't he have magic too?"

"This was before Mistofolees," Exotica explained patiently. "And it was just as complicated with him, if not more so, considering the circumstances."

I wanted to ask what circumstances, but I decided to file it away for later, and instead asked, "If Cori and Tanto had their magic, too, what was so different or upsetting about Macavity's magic?"

"It was destructive," Exotica said plainly. "The twins' magic dealt more with the mind; the spiritual, feeling side of things. Macavity didn't just control fire, he _was_ fire, and fire is always destructive."

I thought for a moment, then said quietly, "Fire can also be cleansing. I mean, it can be…healing, sort of. In its own way."

"It can be," she agreed. "But it wasn't. He wasn't."

 _He didn't get a chance to be,_ I thought, then paused. _I'm defending him…why am I defending him? How did that happen?_

"I showed you these things, Persephone," Exotica said, breaking into my thoughts. "So you could understand that just because a thing seems unassuming or harmless, does not always mean it will remain that way. Just because something has the potential for good, does not mean it doesn't also have the potential for something else."

"I understand," I said, nodding my head a little. "Really, I do, but…I don't know, I just…there has to be more."

"More?"

"To the story," I insisted. "It can't just end there. There has to be some sort of…reason, or explanation or something."

Exotica smiled at me, but it was a sad sort of smile. "Of course there is more, to all sides of the story there is more, but I showed you that particular story for a reason. Now you must learn what it is."

"But Exotica, I…!" I tried to protest, turning to her, only to find the barrel empty. "Exotica?"

Silence. Darkness.

I sighed, resting my head in my paws.

"I'm going to find you a bell tomorrow," I vowed to the open air. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought I heard a quiet laugh, but it dulled in comparison to the roaring laughter that quickly rose up to overtake it, drowning everything in searing amusement.


	10. jellicle balls make very stressed cats

***glances nervously around* Hi everyone! I'm so so sorry for being ridiculously slow in updating. No excuses for my absence, but I'm sorry for leaving you guys hanging. I'm back now though, and I promise to update this more consistently.**

 **To my reviewers:**

 **Evelyn Knight: I always look forward to your reviews, and I'm glad you liked my backstory. I was nervous because it wasn't something typically seen, so I didn't know how fans would react. But I'm glad you liked it and I will be delving into it even further in future chapters, as well as my backstory for Mistofolees. :)**

 **PrettyRecklessLaura: Thank you for the review! More has arrived, I hope you enjoy!**

 **Guest: I'm glad you stuck around, and I'm happy to hear you enjoy my story so much. Characters are always something I worry about, especially staying true to who the characters are, so I'm glad for that confirmation from you. I hope you continue to read and enjoy.**

 **Ok guys, on to the chapter. It's a bit longer for you, to make up for my absence, and we're finally starting to get into the swing of things with preparation for the Jellicle Ball. (If you couldn't tell by the title. ;))**

 *****There is a slight warning for mentions of anxiety/panic attacks towards the end of this chapter, so for those who are sensitive to those sort of things, be warned! I don't go into detail, but it's there.*****

 **I hope you guys enjoy the chapter, and don't forget to review!**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

I woke up still inside the barrel I'd shared with Exotica, and I stretched carefully before peering out and seeing that it was light inside the Junkyard. I crept out slowly, and heard some kind of commotion, the noise coming from the clearing way off to my left. I shook my fur out and made my way towards the sound, weaving my way carefully through and around various piles of trash and odds and ends, and stopped just outside the edge of the clearing, taking in everything I was seeing.

Various decorations were strewn about the clearing, from birthday to Christmas and everything in between, all in different stages of either being torn apart or hung up, and almost every cat I had met, and some I hadn't, were all scrambling about trying to put it all together. Even the kittens were there, though most of them were playing in the decorations more than helping, and I spotted the twins talking with Munkustrap over by the tower of car tires towards the center of it all. I made my way over to the familiar faces, avoiding Tumblebrutus, who was still trying to do a flic flac.

"…don't know what we're going to do!" I heard Munkustrap saying as I got closer. "The lights aren't even strung up properly, the dances haven't been picked, and Bustopher is due to arrive any day now, which will set us back even further and…"

"Persephone!" Tantomile cried, cutting him off. Her face split into a smile, and she darted forward to give me a quick hug before drawing me into the group. "We were afraid you'd gotten lost. I was all set to come looking for you when you didn't come back once it had gotten dark."

"I told you she was alright," Coricopat said, sounding disgruntled, though he, too looked relieved to see me, even if he didn't express it as fervently as his twin.

"I was with Exotica," I told Tantomile, and she nodded a little, as though she had known, but still wanted to be sure.

Munkustrap had broken off from his tirade at my arrival, and now smiled at me as I stood between him and Tantomile, though I noticed that his eyes seemed guarded, and I had a feeling he hadn't forgiven me for the earlier fiasco with Demeter and Bombalurina either.

"Hello Persephone." At least he was still polite in greeting me, and I smiled back, albeit awkwardly.

"Morning, Munkustrap." It was still so weird for me. Here I was, addressing all these cats as though it were a normal thing.

"We were just discussing plans for the ball," Tantomile said, bringing me up to speed, oblivious to my train of thought. "Munkustrap worries too much, if you ask me."

"The ball?" I said, thinking that it couldn't possibly be…

"The Jellicle Ball," Munkustrap said, staring at me again in that 'what land are you from?' way.

"I suppose you wouldn't have heard of it," Coricopat broke in thoughtfully. "Since you came from outside the Junkyard."

I nodded, grateful. He had supplied the alibi and I didn't even need to say anything. But the Jellicle Ball? How was I supposed to fit into that?

"Right," Munkustrap said, still eyeing me warily as he turned back to the twins. "Some of the kittens have volunteered, and Victoria will open, of course, but…"

"Wait did you say Bustopher?" I cut in, remembering what I'd heard him say as I came in. "Bustopher Jones? In white…." I trailed off as I also remembered I wasn't supposed to know anything, and now all three cats were staring at me curiously.

"How…?" Munkustrap began to ask, and I tried to think of any excuses I could make to defend myself.

"I…I've seen him around, here and there. He could always get into the fancy restaurants and I could never figure out how he did it. I uh…I just didn't expect to see him here."

Munkustrap was staring at me even harder than before, but the twins both seemed to accept my story, nodding a little before turning back to the conversation. I fought hard to meet Munkustrap's gaze and not look away suspiciously, but he finally nodded once before turning back to the twins, and I decided to join the kittens before I said something else that would get me in trouble.

"Persephone!" Tumblebrutus cried the moment he saw me. "Check it out! I've finally got it!" And before I could ask him what 'it' was, or even fully process his excitement, he leapt backwards into the air and performed three consecutive flips, landing in an upright position with his hands above his head.

"See?" he said, once he'd stopped moving. "I got it!"

"That's amazing!" I cried, just as enthused, and he purred, straightening in pride. "I'm really glad you've finally figured it out."

"Yeah, and maybe, if I get good enough, Deuteronomy will let me do something for the ball!"

The other kittens had crowded around, and Victoria brushed shyly against my ankles. "What are you doing for the ball, Persephone?" she asked me, and all the kittens looked to me eagerly.

"Oh, uh…I don't think I…I don't know." I stammered lamely, and the shock on their faces was so priceless I would have laughed if I weren't so nervous.

"Well you have to do something!" Pouncival said sternly, drawing himself up importantly. "Every member of the Jellicle tribe participates and has a number in the ball."

I didn't want to crush their expectations by telling them that, technically, I wasn't a member of the Jellicle tribe, or even a real cat, but the thought was in my mind. Mistoffolees frowned thoughtfully before speaking, and I had to lean in to hear him over the noise of the other kittens' suggestions and arguments.

"What is it that you're good at?"

I shook my head. "I'm really not as talented as you guys are. I don't really dance, and I'm not a great singer."

"Can you play an instrument?" Etcetera asked, and I glanced down at my paws.

"No."

"Maybe you can do magic like Misto!" Electra gasped, while the kitten in question bristled slightly at being addressed as Misto by someone other than Victoria.

I took all of their suggestions with a grain of salt, and was getting ready to head back over to the twins when I heard a soft laugh. I looked up, and saw the last person I wanted to see. I felt my own fur stand on end a bit, and I scowled at the silky Tom making his way towards me. The kittens sensed my mood shift and carefully scattered, disappearing further into the clearing.

"Tugger." My voice held every bit of hatred and disgust I could conjure up, but he simply smiled at me, his eyes twinkling merrily.

"Persephone." I shivered in spite of myself at the way he said my name. "Are you going to dance at the ball?"

"No," I said coldly, still glaring at him. "I don't dance."

"Shame," he said, making a tsk-tsk noise. "I was hoping you'd save me one."

I growled, but was saved from any further remarks by an arm, slipping smoothly around my shoulders. I couldn't see who it was from how I was positioned, but I could smell them; a sharp, sweet sort of spicy smell, like bergamot and mint.

"Tugger," the cat said, with the same inflection of loathing I had used. "Don't you have a musical number to practice?"

"Deme!" Tugger cried with over-enthusiasm. "I was just wondering when you'd step in and kill the mood."

 _Demeter._ I thought, feeling relieved and nervous all at once. Was she still mad at me?

"I'm sure you were," she retorted, and Tugger laughed, winking at me before sauntering off humming a tune under his breath.

Once he had disappeared from view, Demeter's arm dropped from my shoulder, and I tensed inwardly as I turned to her, expecting her to start yelling at me. Instead, she smiled, and laughed just a little bit as she shook her head incredulously.

"You alright?" she asked, and I blinked, realizing that she was actually concerned, and that she wasn't raging like I thought she would.

"Yeah, he was just…." I shook my head, deciding not to finish that sentence. "I can't stand him, sometimes." I confessed, following her out of the clearing. "It's weird; I hate him, but I don't. Like every time he looks at me," I shivered briefly, thinking of it, then mentally slapped myself. "I can't decide whether I want to kill him or…." I trailed off in a frustrated groan, and Demeter chuckled a bit beside me.

"I know the feeling." Her tone was light, but there was something more to it, and I stopped, realizing that she did in fact, know that feeling.

"I did it again, didn't I?" I groaned, cringing inwardly.

"Did what?"

"Said something without thinking and brought up things I shouldn't have."

"It's fine," she said, so quick to reassure me. "And Bomba's fine, too. Really, it's alright.'

I didn't see how, but I didn't push my luck and comment further. I noticed we were drifting further away from the clearing and towards the other side of the Yard, and I glanced around curiously at the various dens and half formed set pieces in the midst of construction and decoration.

"Is all this stuff for the ball?" I asked, motioning to a giant carriage wheel propped up against the side of a den.

"Most of it," Demeter said, nodding. "Whatever we don't use this year gets recycled into dens, or else cleared away into the rest of the Yard. We usually reuse a lot of the pieces, though, so it's not too big a deal."

"Better not let Munkustrap hear you say that, he takes his decorations _very_ seriously." A new voice broke in, amusement lacing its tone. I froze, feeling my fur raise, and I stepped back involuntarily.

Bombalurina appeared, a small smirk on her face as she approached, pausing briefly when she saw me before turning back to Demeter.

"Did you still want to practice or have you found something else?"

Demeter's eyes widened slightly at her words, and I shifted nervously, hoping to fade into the background.

"That's right, I almost forgot!" she gasped. "No, of course we can still practice. I take it you've already stretched?"

"And managed a warm up," Bomba replied smugly, grinning when Demeter made a face at her.

"Fine, give me a second and then I'll join you."

She jogged around Bomba and dissapeared through a large metal pipe, and I realized when I looked closer that it was the same pipe I'd seen in the memories Exotica had shown me, the one Grizabella had used to get to her den. I was pondering this revelation when Bomba spoke up suddenly, startling me.

"What are you doing for the ball?"

I blinked, turning slowly to face her. She was in the middle of a stretch, reaching down as though to touch her toes, but twisting instead to grab the opposite foot. She made the simple move look graceful, and it took me a moment to process that she had spoken to me, and that it hadn't been an angry yell.

"I…I'm not…I mean, you're not…" I stammered nervously, and she glanced up at me, one brow lifting curiously. I cleared my throat, trying to focus. "Nothing, I mean I don't know. I didn't think I counted."

She straightened at that, frowning at me, and I shifted a half step back, anxious. "Counted?" She repeated, a look on her face I couldn't quite interpret.

"Uh, as…as a Jellicle," I clarified, and her expression went blank at that, her eyes sharpening. I felt a twinge of fear as she took a step towards me, reminded all too painfully of our confrontation in the alley.

"Of _course_ you count," Bomba said, her voice just as intense as it had been then. "Why wouldn't you?"

I said nothing, taken aback and oddly touched by the vehemence by which she swore I was part of the tribe. I hadn't expected it, especially from her, and the gesture was so unlike what I had imagined that I was literally speechless for a moment as I took it in. Demeter appeared, thankfully freeing me from further awkwardness, and Bomba and I both turned to face her, though I did so a little dazedly.

"Everything ok?" She asked, frowning slightly as she glanced between me and Bomba.

"Fine," Bomba answered, and I nodded, still reeling but shaking it off quickly.

"Yeah," I assured, smiling a bit and looking at Bomba. "Yeah I think so."

"Good," Demeter said, grinning back at me. "You wanna come watch us practice?"

"Sure," I agreed, and followed them back through the piles of junk. I thought at first we were returning to the clearing, but they turned off the path just before we reached it, and instead we stepped out into a large open field, random tufts of grass sticking out here and there amongst a few trees.

There was a large empty patch of dirt and sand that had been flattened and hardened until it was almost as solid as a wood or tile floor, and it was this section of the filed that Bomba and Demeter headed to. As I drew closer, I could see the impressions in the dirt from where it had been walked and trampled on, numerous paw prints indented into the sand.

"Should we start with stretches or are you good to work the routine?" Bomba asked Demeter, who was already halfway through a complicated looking stretch.

"No, I'm good to go," Demeter answered, standing from her stretch and shaking out her arms and legs. "It's been a while, so…"

Bomba nodded, frowning in thought. "Places?"

"I'll take point," Demeter said, and Bomba scowled.

"You always take point."

"But I'm good at it," Demeter stated calmly, smiling in the face of her sister's disapproval.

"Fine," Bomba answered sharply, a sly smile on her face. "Then you can start with your passes."

Demeter's smile fell from her face, and Bomba laughed as she growled. "Do you want to take point, then?" Demeter grumbled, a spark in her eyes.

Bomba lifted her chin triumphantly. "I thought you'd never ask."

Demeter growled again, but more exasperated than angry. "Let's just start, or we'll never get the routine done in time."

"Right." Bomba answered with a quick nod.

I realized as they started moving through a few paces that I was in the middle of their 'dance floor,' and quickly backed out of the space to sit against a nearby tree. As I watched them, I found I could recognize a few of the moves. I thought it was because I had a friend back home who took ballet and often could be seen doing random stretches in the school hallways, but then I realized it was because I knew the dance.

"Isn't that-" I started to say, then stopped and corrected myself quickly. "I mean, is that the dance you're going to do for the ball?"

Bomba didn't answer, still focusing on finishing her turn, but Demeter completed her own turn easily, and nodded, panting a little as she smiled at me.

"Yeah, what do you think?"

"It's…really good," I answered, unable to think of anything other than that. It was seriously incredible, a much more complex version of the Macavity dance from the ball, with a few added spins and turns, and ballet moves I couldn't have hoped to pronounce, let alone actually accomplish.

"You're just saying that," Demeter blushed a little, and Bomba turned to face us, brushing aside a stray tuft of fur that had landed in front of her eyes.

"I'm really not, though," I said with a slight chuckle. "You guys are really good. What…um, what's the dance called?"

Demeter shook her head a little, and something flickered in Bomba's eyes as she gave a wry smile. "We haven't decided yet."

Something about the way she said it told me it would be smart not to question any further, and I nodded at her in understanding.

"What about you?" Demeter asked, and Bomba's smile grew a little more genuine.

"What?"

"What does your dance look like?" Bomba clarified, and I shook my head, backing a step away from the 'dance floor.'

"Oh no, I- I don't…I _can't_ dance." I tried to emphasize as much as possible just how bad an idea me dancing was.

Demeter laughed, and Bomba smirked, her eyes lighting mischievously. "We'll see about that."

I tried to protest further, but Demeter's ears flickered, and she turned her head sharply to stare in the direction we had come from.

"Hey," she said, her brow furrowing as she stared. "What's going on in the yard?"

Bomba and I turned to follow her gaze, and sure enough there appeared to be some kind of commotion, and pricking my ears forward I could just faintly hear the sounds of things banging and crashing. I exchanged a nervous glance with Bomba and Demeter, and then all three of us were racing back up the path towards the heart of the Junkyard. I didn't know what to expect, but I could tell by the looks on the sisters' faces that they weren't expecting anything less than a fight or something equally big and unpleasant.

We reached the outskirts of the Yard, Demeter the first to see what awaited us. She froze, her mouth opening and closing a few times in wordless surprise. Bomba pulled up short beside her, her arms going out instinctively to pull her back from the danger, then she too froze, her brow furrowing and lips pursing in a silent question. I felt my stomach lurch in fear, but when I finally reached the two I saw what it was that had them so shocked.

The Yard was a mess, to put it simply. Various other synonyms strode through my mind; a war zone, a battlefield, a massacre. Bits and pieces of half formed sets and costumes were thrown all throughout the space, and I could hear shouting from up ahead.

"No no no! Absolutely _not!"_

I glanced over at Bomba and Demeter, frowning my own confusion. "Is that Munkustrap shouting?"

They shook their heads, just as unsure, and we jogged down into the clearing, mindful of the ruin. We reached the clearing in time to hear a loud crash, and a horrible wailing noise pierced the air. I flinched, as did Bomba and Demeter, and I was preparing to face a massacre, when the wailing suddenly ceased, and Tugger's voice spoke up.

"Come on, Munkus! It'll be great!"

We finally caught sight of what was going on, and we froze, unsure how to handle it. The Rum Tum Tugger stood in all his glory, his usual leather abandoned in favor of a plaid monstrosity that hung about his waist. An even larger plaid monster rested on his shoulders, tubes and funnels of all kinds sticking out at various angles. Munkustrap stood scowling in front of him, his paws pressed firmly over his ear while the few cats in the clearing cowered off to the side, Jellylorum glaring murderously at Tugger as she covered one of the kitten's eyes.

As we watched, Tugger squeezed the thing on his shoulder, blowing into one of the funnels and producing the horrible wailing noise we'd heard before. Munkustrap growled, and flung a shoe in Tugger's direction, which he nimbly dodged, sending the shoe into a pile of props, which fell over with another loud crash.

"Munkustrap," Demeter said quietly, her voice blank. "What is this?"

"Deme!" Tugger lit up, a smirk on his face as he bounced over. "Munkustrap is being entirely unreasonable and is refusing to allow to me to play my bagpipes for the ball."

"He's being perfectly reasonable, if what we just heard was anything to go on," she retorted, grimacing as she took in his appearance. "And what on earth are you wearing?!"

"Do you like it?" He asked, his voice lowering suggestively. Jellylorum made a shocked noise and tried to cover the kitten's ears as well, while Demeter growled at him in response.

"Tugger," Munkustrap said with a groan, rubbing his eyes tiredly with a paw. "You are not playing the bagpipes in the ball, and that's final."

"But-"

"Final," Munkustrap repeated firmly, and the two Toms glared at each other a moment more before Tugger sighed and drooped in defeat.

"Fine," he muttered, sulking away and muttering under his breath. I stared, completely caught off guard and not sure how to react to what I had just witnessed. Demeter seemed to feel the same, just as silently shocked as I was, but Bomba chuckled, glancing at Munkustrap with a smirk.

"How long until he starts parading the bagpipes down the street?" She asked, and Munkustrap groaned again, shaking his head.

"I don't even want to think about that right now," he confessed, and Demeter cracked a smile, the shock of the moment wearing off.

"Just tell me you've got your dances figured out, and I'll be happy," he continued, and Bomba and Demeter nodded. He looked to me, and I froze, my eyes widening.

"Um, about that," I stammered, glancing around nervously. "I…kinda…don't know how…to dance." My words lowered to a quiet mumble, but he still heard, and his own eyes widened as he stared at me.

"You don't…" he began, then stopped, wincing as though he couldn't bear the thought. "But you're…how do you not know…." He looked like he might pass out, and Bomba rolled her eyes while Demeter placed a comforting paw on his shoulder.

"It'll be alright, Munk," she said. "We're teaching her, she'll have a dance for the ball, don't worry."

"She will?" He whimpered, his eyes lifting hopefully.

"I will?"

Demeter glared at me, and I quickly changed my tone. "I mean, yeah. I will." She smiled, and Munkustrap nodded, seeming to rouse a little more.

"Ok. Ok, then, good. The last thing I need right now is another complication for the ball."

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Demeter offered, and Munkustrap shook his head.

"No, no, it's fine. Just…if Tugger's bagpipes were to…mysteriously go missing…."

Demeter laughed, nodding her understanding. "Sure thing, Munk." He brightened considerably, and moved off to oversee some more decorations, while Bomba, Demeter and I headed back in the direction of Cori and Tanto's den.

"Is he always so worried about the ball?" I asked, watching the lights begin to glow as night fell.

"No, but this ball is a bit…special," Demeter said, and I frowned.

"Special?"

"Old Deuteronomy chooses who goes Heaviside this year," Bombalurina said, her voice quiet.

"Oh…" I whispered, clarity hitting me. "Right, I knew that."

"You did?"

"I mean…" I cursed myself for yet another slip. "I mean, I figured there was…something going on."

Bomba frowned, her eyes narrowing as she stared at me. I shivered, trying to meet her gaze and not look suspicious but certain I was failing.

 ** _"_** ** _Yes, good job,"_** a voice whispered harshly in my ear. **_"Why don't you also mention that you work for me? That will go over well."_**

I froze, a pang of fear going through me before being replaced by anger. _I don't work for you!_ I hissed mentally, and he laughed in response, making me shiver again. Bomba was still staring at me, but Demeter stiffened suddenly, her ears twitching as though she too had heard the laugh. The slight movement drew Bomba's attention, and she turned to her sister, concern flooding her features.

"Dem," she said softly. "Are you alright?"

Demeter's eyes had gone glassy, unfocused as she stared around us, her ears twitching and turning at the slightest sound.

"I…I thought…." Her voice was low and hoarse with fear, and Bomba stepped closer, but didn't make a move to touch her.

"It's alright, Dem," she said, sorrow filling her eyes as she continued to speak quietly. "We're in the Junkyard, remember?"

"I know that!" Demeter hissed, her ears pinning slightly in frustration before shooting forward again. "But I heard…"

"No," Bomba said firmly, her voice still low but her eyes hardening. "No, you didn't."

Demeter growled, her body tensing slowly as she shifted her weight on her paws, and Bomba's face fell even further.

"Dem, please," she whispered. "Not now, please don't do this now."

I stared anxiously, unsure what exactly was happening, but feeling like I had an idea. "Is there anything I can do?" I asked Bomba.

She shook her head, sighing a little. "No, it's…" she stopped short of saying 'fine.' "She'll come out of it eventually."

"What's 'it'"? I asked, and she grimaced, her eyes hardening even further. I fell silent, stepping back and trying to give them space.

"Dem," Bomba started again, but Demeter shushed her, her eyes flickering warily back and forth.

"I know," she muttered again. "I know, I know, but I _heard_ him."

Bomba made a pained noise in the back of her throat, and I froze, understanding hitting me at the same time his voice filled my head again.

 ** _"_** ** _The Phan..tom…of the Op…era is there…inside your mind!"_** He laughed cruelly, and Demeter flinched, another low growl slipping past her bared teeth.

 _Oh you sick bas-_

 ** _"_** ** _Language!"_** He crowed, and I could almost see his vindictive smirk as he cut me off, reveling in the torment he'd caused.

 ** _"_** ** _Take this as a lesson, Persephone,"_** he turned suddenly serious, and I fought my own urge to growl as I watched Demeter tremble before me.

 _What kind of lesson?_ I growled mentally, and he added his own growl, a dark rumble taking over his words.

 ** _"_** ** _You make think you have the upper hand, but in the end, you will never truly escape me."_**

As I watched Bomba trying vainly to calm a paranoid Demeter, I couldn't help but wonder if he was right. And if he was, what other things were in store? The ball was drawing ever closer, and even though I knew what would happen, things were already so different; who knew what my presence here could bring? Whatever plans Macavity had in store, I knew one thing for absolute certainty: I would not have any part in it.


	11. frying pans are overrated

**Hey guys, hope I haven't kept you waiting long. This chapter is bit longer for you guys, and the plot really starts to pick up here. The next chapter is already halfway finished, so it shouldn't be too long in coming, though hopefully this will tide you over until I next update. :)**

 **On to the reviews!**

 **Evelyn Knight: I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, and that you like the way I write Demeter. It was hard getting her right, because I didn't want to just portray her as a paranoid victim, and give her a bit of the playful, graceful character we see in the 1998 movie. And Macavity is so fun to write! Guilt admission there. He's an interesting one, but I never saw the resemblance to Shere Khan until you pointed it out. But I'm glad you're enjoying the story and I look forward to hearing what you think.**

 **Guest: I feel bad just referring to you as Guest, but I'm glad to see you're still here and enjoying the story. :) I am back, so no worries, and I will have the next chapter up as soon as I can.**

 **No warnings apply for this chapter, though just a reminder that I am basing the Cats off of the 1998 movie, as well as my own head-canon. We are introduced to some more cats, so I just wanted to put it out there in case anyone got upset at my portrayals. :)**

 **Hope you guys enjoy and I can't wait to hear what you think.**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

Macavity's voice had finally faded from my mind, though his message still lingered, despite my attempts to ignore it. Bombalurina had succeeded in calming Demeter, as well, though I had a feeling it was more due to the lack of Macavity's presence than any actual attempts on her part. Demeter had proceeded to apologize profusely, nervousness and embarrassment coloring her face, though I could still see the traces of fear in her eyes as they left me outside Coricopat and Tantomile's den. I had been quick to reassure her this time, making sure she knew there was nothing to apologize for and that I understood; I wouldn't judge. Bomba had given me a grateful look at that, and I wondered just how many people had judged or reacted negatively to Demeter's fear.

I was now wandering aimlessly, exploring the yard and trying to figure out just what I was going to do about the ball. I couldn't dance, no matter what they thought, and I wasn't about to get up there and embarrass myself. And, despite Bombalurina's assurances, I still didn't feel like I had a place dancing with them. But I would still need to think of something, and I found myself heading back to that empty clearing where Demeter and Bomba had practiced dancing.

It was beginning to transition to early evening by the time I arrived, though the lights had yet to come on in the Yard. The clearing was exactly the same, the sparse grass and the beaten down dance floor. Only, there was one small addition that hadn't been there before.

A cat.

The cat stood in the middle of the field, away from the dance floor, her back to me as she seemed to be trying to decide something. I debated on whether I should leave or continue with my plan of practicing, when the cat began to move, swaying softly back and forth. Curiosity got the better of me, and I inched forward, careful to stay far enough to be unnoticed. The cat took a few steps, short and stiff, as though she had trouble walking. Her arms took up a position on either side of her, and as she stepped, she drew a leg up, turning on the ball of her heel.

Or rather, she attempted to turn. Instead, she lost her balance, stumbling and falling forward onto her knees. I started forward then, prepared to call out and help, but she was already pushing herself up, resuming the position and trying again. I marveled at the cat's ability to continue trying, even if she was lacking the finesse of the younger kittens and cats. I watched her as she took a few more steps, positioning herself again, and I held my breath, anticipating the turn and the fall.

Only, she didn't fall. Her leg stayed up and out, her arms held stiffly but perfectly in position, and she turned almost a full 360 degrees on her foot before she lowered her leg and held her arms out with a flourish, beautifully completing the move. I let out a soft gasp of awe, though it quickly turned into a sharp intake of breath as I suddenly caught a glimpse of the cat's face.

"Grizzle?"

The name slipped unthinkingly past my lips, and the ruffled Queen started, her eyes widening in surprise and fear as she spotted me standing just a few feet away. Her fur began to rise slightly, a defensive and wary look coming into her eyes, and I stepped forward quickly before she could decide to run away.

"I'm sorry," I said, holding out a paw reassuringly. "I wasn't trying to be rude or anything, I just…wow," the gasp came from my mouth again, and I smiled, shaking my head. "I never would have thought…that was…."

Her eyes flickered, maybe pride, for just a moment, before they darkened again and her ears went back. I stopped mid-step, uncertain at her reaction, and her lips pulled back into an imitation of a growl.

"You called me Grizzle," she said, and her voice was rough, a hint of something hard like anger in her tone. "Where did you hear that name?"

I realized my mistake too late, and I shifted my weight, meaning to step back, though she stepped forward, faster than I would have thought possible for her. Her eyes narrowed, and I knew better than to try to run.

"Where did you hear that name?" She repeated, each word stressed with that hard feeling, and I stammered wordlessly as I tried to think of some excuse.

"I don't know, I just…said it," I lied, a buzzing sensation tingling in the back of my mind. "I didn't…I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry if I offended you."

She seemed to pause at that, though the buzzing simply increased, an unreadable expression on her face as she stared.

"Offended me?" she repeated softly, and I couldn't tell if it was addressed to me or if she was simply thinking aloud. "You're worrying about offending me?"

"Should I not?" I asked, again without thinking, and I winced as her eyes flickered again. The buzzing was fully audible now, and I realized it wasn't a buzz at all. It was a growl, dark and heavy with hatred and anger, and my head spun a little as the feelings themselves seemed to surface inside me, directed at the aged Queen before me.

 _Why do you hate her?_ I thought silently, and the growl seemed to sharpen, but there was no answer.

"Who are you?" Grizabella was still staring at me, and I focused on her once more, trying to ignore the low rumble.

"I'm new," I answered, and she nodded, a soft chuckle slipping past her lips.

"Yes," she agreed, amusement in her smile even if it didn't reach her eyes. "I can see that. But who-"

"I'm Persephone," I replied sheepishly, and she faltered, her amusement fading and a heaviness coming back into her eyes.

"Persephone?" She repeated softly, and I nodded, wincing slightly at the grief I could see creeping into her expression.

"I chose the name myself," I said apologetically. "Probably could have come up with something better, but…"

"No," she said quietly, shaking her head. "No, Persephone is…it's fine."

I nodded, recognizing the tenderness and reverence for which the name was spoken, and she stared at me awhile longer, as though trying to reconcile me with the Persephone she had known.

"I um, that turn you were doing," I spoke, attempting to erase the awkwardness and ease back to a more comfortable moment. "Do you think you could show me?"

Surprise didn't come close to the look on her face, and she stared a moment more, her mouth opening and closing a few times. She composed herself quickly, reigning in any further emotions, and when she stood I could see that grace that surely had come with her title as the Glamour Cat. I stepped closer to join her, but suddenly she stiffened, dropping to all four feet to back away quickly, her fur ruffling once more as she stared at something just behind me.

"Persephone?"

A voice spoke up, and I turned to see Munkustrap approaching, his own fur raising slightly as he drew closer to Grizabella and I.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, his eyes narrowed as he stared, and I knew it wasn't so much 'what are you doing here,' as it was 'what are you doing here _with her'?_

"I was just trying to practice, Munkustrap," I dropped to my own four paws, purposefully stepping forward and placing myself between the two. My head only just came up to his shoulder, and I had to look up to see his face as he spoke.

"Practice?" His voice was hard, his eyes even harder as he stared past me to Grizabella, who hovered nervously, her eyes not meeting Munkustrap's, though she was still observing, waiting to see how this would end.

"For the ball," I clarified, taking a subtle step forward. He reacted as I'd hoped, and shifted backwards instinctively, and I took another small step, inching us both back further.

"But why is-?"

"It was my fault," I was quick to reply, and his brows furrowed in confusion, taking his eyes off Grizabella to glance down at me. "She was here first; I interrupted her."

His eyes instantly shot back up to Grizabella, and I heard her shuffle backwards even further. My attempt to get Munkustrap to step back again failed, as he brushed right past me to stalk towards her. I turned quickly, hoping I could get between them again, but he had already reached her, a low growl rising in the back of his throat as he glared at the Queen, who seemed to shrink even further under his intense gaze.

"What were you doing on this side of the Yard?" he asked, his voice low and harsh. I could practically feel the tension; the powder keg just waiting to explode, and I strode forward again, hovering just off to the side.

"Munkustrap," I said quietly, a pleading note in my voice. "Let's not do anything drastic."

He glanced over at me again, and I could see his eyes soften as he took in my worried expression. He gave an inaudible sigh before turning and taking one step towards Grizabella. I tensed beside him, waiting for him to lash out at her, but he only bared his teeth to let out another threatening growl.

"I will only tell you one more time," he whispered. "Stay away from the Tribe; and that includes Persephone. If I catch you on this side again…"

"I understand, Munkustrap," Grizabella said, her own eyes hard, though she didn't turn her glare away from the ground.

He humphed sternly, then nodded once, turning quickly and heading back towards the main clearing; as though he couldn't stand to be near her any longer than necessary.

"Come on Persephone," he called to me, and I glanced over my shoulder at his retreating form.

A soft sigh from Grizabella made me turn back, and I inched a little closer, mindful of her space.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, hoping my sincerity came through in my voice. "I didn't mean to cause you any trouble."

She shook her head, a tight smile on her face as she looked up at me. I could practically see the words 'it's alright,' forming in her mind, but she stopped just short of saying them, instead shaking her head again.

"You should go," she said instead, and I took a step back, startled by her sudden abruptness.

"Persephone!" Munkustrap called again, and I looked back to see him standing at the entrance of the clearing, his tail twitching anxiously.

I didn't want to leave on such fragile terms with the glamour cat, but she was already retreating herself when I turned back.

"I really am sorry," I insisted, and she hesitated, but didn't turn back.

"I know."

And then she was off, half limping and half jogging, disappearing into a forest of junk.

Munkustrap was tense as we journeyed back into the heart of the Junkyard, and I kept my eyes firmly on my paws, not willing to break the silence. Instead, Munkustrap broke it, his tone still tense but trying to be light for my sake.

"What was she doing?"

"Hm?" The questioning sound was out before I could form a more intelligent response.

"Grizabella," he clarified, looking over at me. "You said she was already in the clearing when you arrived. What was she doing?"

"Oh," I said, remembering that I had in fact, said that. "She was…" But then I stopped, not wanting to cause even further trouble for the ragged Queen. "I don't know, I didn't really pay attention."

"Persephone," Munkustrap said, and I cringed. It was one of those 'be honest with me, young lady,' tones, and I wasn't about to try and lie to him a second time.

"She was trying to dance," I mumbled, and Munkustrap stopped in his tracks, a startled look coming onto his face.

"What?" He turned around so he could face me fully, and I faltered at the intense look in his eyes. "Are you certain?"

"I…I mean I guess. That's what it looked like, anyway."

He made a soft noise -maybe a gasp? - and lifted his head to look over my shoulder in the direction we'd come from, as though he wanted to run back and confront Grizabella about this as well.

"Why?" I asked, stepping towards him. "Is it important?"

"Is it important?" he started to repeat, incredulous, but then he glanced back down at me, and he seemed to compose himself before quickly responding. "No. No it's not."

He turned back around and continued on, and I jogged to catch up to his longer strides. "Wait," I said. "Why is it important? And why does everyone hate her?"

Munkustrap half sighed, half growled, but didn't turn back, instead continuing towards the Yard. "It's not important," he said tersely. "And _that's_ not something you should concern yourself with."

I huffed impatiently, not willing to accept his answers. "If I'm a part of this tribe, shouldn't I know about these things?"

He seemed to hesitate at that, his mouth opening as though he were going to say something, but then he caught himself. I frowned, my brows furrowing, and I rushed forward to try and cut him off.

"What?" I demanded. "What is it?"

"Nothing," he said quickly, and I turned around, forcing him to face me.

"Munkustrap," I said, trying to use the same tone he had and failing, but he sighed all the same, refusing to look me in the eye as he spoke.

"It hasn't officially been decided yet," he admitted, and I faltered.

"What?"

He winced, and I could tell he was trying to soften the blows, but I still had to stop a moment and try to catch my breath.

"You aren't part of the Tribe," he said, just in case I hadn't understood the first time.

"What?" My voice was barely a whisper, and I couldn't figure out why I was so upset. I wasn't even a cat, why would I think I'd somehow be a part of the Jellicle Tribe? Bombalurina's reassurance seemed pale in the face of Munkustrap's confession, and I could feel a sharp sting welling up inside.

"Yet," Munkustrap said quickly, no doubt noticing the look on my face. "It's for Old Deuteronomy to decide, but until then...it's just not official."

"So what you said back there," I said, swallowing a few times and willing myself not to get emotional. "When you included me as a member; you didn't really mean it."

"Persephone," he tried, moving as though to reach out, but I shuffled back, shaking my head.

"No, no I get it. It's fine." But it wasn't, and I felt more than heard a smug chuckle.

 ** _"Do you see what I mean? They don't care; they're just using you. That's what they do."_**

I shook my head again, trying to argue, but I found that in that moment, I couldn't disagree with him. And that terrified me. So I did the only logical thing I could do in that situation.

I ran.

I turned my back on Munkustrap and I ran as fast as I could, ignoring his cries for me wait, ignoring the sounds of his own paws as he tried to pursue me. I ran blindly, and for once I didn't question the whispers in the back of my mind. I didn't know where I was going, but I didn't really care.

 ** _"You understand though. That's the important thing."_**

I hadn't even realized I'd left the Junkyard completely until his voice spoke up again, and I stopped, looking around me. I was in the middle of a street, shops and cars scattered here and there along the road. And there were so many _people._ I wouldn't have given a thought to their presence, but as a cat, I became aware that I was so much smaller than they were. I jumped up onto the sidewalk and crouched low, creeping along carefully and trying not wince at the loudness of their voices. Had I been that loud as a human?

I couldn't run here, but I certainly tried, ducking and dodging my way through the crowds until I came to a street where things were much quieter. Almost too quiet, if I were to use a cliché. But it was getting dark, and I was lost, and the alleyway I was in was just perfect for an attack. I could feel my fur rising on my body, and my tail twitched as I walked, every bit of me just waiting to be jumped.

I made it through without incident, however, and I could feel myself begin to breathe again as I stepped out onto another street. This street had no cars, but I could see the backs of houses on either side of the road; a little more run down than the ones by the shops, but sturdy enough to be lI've in. I crawled through a gate and continued down another back road, noticing that it was getting dark faster than I'd anticipated.

"Midnight; not a sound from the pavement. Has the moon lost her memory? She is smiling alone."

I felt bad for stealing Grizabella's song, but it was too quiet, and it wasn't as though there was anyone around to hear me singing. Not that I _could_ sing, but still...

"Oi! What d'you think you're doing here?"

I jumped at the voice, turning too fast and nearly falling. The accent was impossible to define, turning the 'what' into 'wot,' and 'here' into 'ear.' I squinted through the darkness, grateful for the streetlamp to aid me, but I couldn't see the stranger, though the voice told me it was a male.

"'E asked you a question," another voice spoke up behind me; female this time. "It's rude not to answer."

I jumped again, turning around once more, and I was startled at the sight of two eyes peering back at me. The cat snickered, and I shivered in spite of myself.

"Who are you?" I asked, somewhat bravely.

"You're in _our_ territory now," the first voice growled from behind me. "We'll be askin' the questions."

"And you still haven't answered his first one."

The female was visible now, a pale Queen with sharp green eyes, and tan and black hatch marks on her face and body. A tabby of some kind, I guessed, but something about the coloring of her fur seemed off to me; like it was muted or distorted somehow. But the dangerous gleam in her eyes, coupled with the smirk on her face, told me that she wasn't someone I wanted to mess around with.

"I'm only passing through," I finally answered, and I heard a soft **thump** as the Tom leapt down from some perch behind me. I didn't dare take my eyes off the Queen, though I shifted my body slightly so I could watch the shadows from the corner of my eye.

"Lost, eh?" He said, stepping into the light only long enough for me to see his own smirk before vanishing back into the shadows.

"No," I lied, shuffling around again. "There's a place I'm going to. I'm meeting people."

The Queen snickered again, but the Tom shushed her sharply. She glared over my shoulder to where he must have been, but when she turned back to me her smirk was in place once more.

"No places 'round 'ere," she said in a sing-song way. "No one to meet."

"An' you don't have a collar," the Tom added, slipping back into the light. "No humans waitin' for you at home."

"I have a…something," I faltered, and both cats laughed.

"You have a somethin'?" The Tom repeated. As he stepped closer I could see that his fur pattern was similar to the Queen's, though it was darker in shade, and his hatches crossed in a different direction. I noticed that his fur, too, seemed to be muted somehow, as though something were covering it and keeping his true colors hidden.

"You're one them Jellicle cats," he said, his eyes narrowing, and the Queen straightened, her own eyes narrowing as she stared at me.

"No," I said, and I wasn't able to keep the hint of bitterness out of my voice. "I'm not one of them."

"Well even you ain't," the Queen hissed, stepping forward. "You're still gonna be comin' with us."

"Coming with you?" I stepped back away from them as they both stalked closer. "Where? I don't even know…who you are."

My last words trailed off as they stepped into the light, and I was able to take them in fully, including their sinister grins. I stepped back even further, tripping slightly, and the Queen giggled at my fear, though the Tom shushed her again.

"I don't want any trouble," I said, tripping again and only just managing to recover my feet.

"That's too bad," the Queen said with a laugh. "Because we do."

"In fact," the Tom added, crouching low. "You might even say we're _notorious_ for it."

It clicked then, and I couldn't help but whisper a curse as I suddenly realized who I was facing. I didn't know why I hadn't seen it before. The accents, the similar fur pattern, the back and forth giggle-shush, the sly smirks. Even the pearl necklace that graced the Queen's neck. I was being cornered by none other than Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer.

This wouldn't have been a problem if it weren't for the complicated nature of their characters. No one really knew if they were actually part of the Jellicle tribe, or if they were brother and sister, or mates, or just partners in crime. But I had read somewhere that the director of the show had stated rather explicitly that there was no relationship between the two, so I'd always gone with the theory that they were just partners in crime. They also had a human family; a very rich human family; Victoria Grove being one of those fancier wealthy districts near the Royal Albert Hall.

And they also happened to work for Macavity.

There was also some debate about if they really worked for Macavity, and if they did, then why. Some thought they'd been manipulated by him, others thought they were just well meaning tricksters and it was a wrong place-wrong time-wrong people type thing. I never had been sure what to think about that, honestly, though I knew one did not simply work for the Hidden Paw and maintain any sort of well meaning nature.

As was proven right now as they continued to back me into a corner, teeth bared and eyes gleaming. I stared back and forth between the two, trying to think of a way out, and knowing that I wouldn't be able to fight if it came down to that. My best option was running, but there weren't many places to run to. The alley just continued out onto the street, and there was no way I was going to be able to outrun them in a crowd of humans.

"Come on now," Mungojerrie growled, startling me out of my thoughts. "Let's not make this difficult."

"What do you want with me?" I demanded, pausing in my retreat to glare at them both.

"'t's not what we want with you," Rumpleteazer hissed. "'t's what our boss wants."

My stomach seemed to simultaneously drop and harden, and I knew I had failed in keeping my fear hidden when they both chuckled, and I started looking even more desperately for a way out. I was _not,_ under any circumstances, going to meet Macavity. My eyes landed on a sewer grate at the end of the alley, and I could feel a crazy, and potentially suicidal plan beginning to form in my head.

I was small, even for a cat, and if I could just make it to the grate, I could squeeze through the gap and escape through the sewers. It wasn't the best plan, and disgusting if I dwelt on it too long, but it had to be better than anything Macavity had planned. It was my only shot, so I crouched low, mindful of my body language, and inched towards the two cats slowly.

"That's it," Mungojerrie drawled lowly. "Nice and easy."

I crept a little closer, shifting my weight to my back legs and preparing to leap as soon as I was able. I could see Mungojerrie relax as I did, though Rumpleteazer still seemed on edge, her tail lashing her sides and her eyes sharp as she watched me. I crouched down a little lower, trying to appear submissive and non-threatening, and as Mungojerrie relaxed a little more, I took my chance. I jumped forward, paws extended, swiping at him and startling him enough that he stepped back. The space between him and Rumpleteazer widened, and I leapt through it, sprinting towards the sewer grate as fast as I could.

Behind me, I heard Rumpleteazer hiss, and Mungojerrie cursed. I risked a glance back over my shoulder to see that he had disappeared, but Rumpleteazer was already chasing me, and she was much faster than I thought she'd be. She was gaining, and I turned my head back around to see the grate was still out of reach, and I let out a groan as I struggled to put on more speed. I was not going to be caught. I was going to make it. I was going to make it and I'd find my way back to the Junkyard and-

I heard a cry from Rumpleteazer, but before I could process what she'd said, something slammed into me, and I went tumbling. My head hit the ground hard, and I blinked as my vision blurred. Then everything snapped back into focus at the same time my shoulder burst into flames. I screamed, but it came out as a cat's yowl, and instinct took over. As we rolled again, I twisted my body, escaping the grip of claws and bring my own paws around to bat at my attacker. Only one of my blows managed to land, but it was enough to get Mungojerrie to let me go, and I slid to a stop, my back arched and body tense for a fight.

My shoulder still burned, and I risked taking my eyes off Mungojerrie to take in the damage. A choked noise slipped past my lips as I saw that I was bleeding, four long slashes of red standing out against the dark brown of my fur. I whimpered, and Rumpleteazer cursed as she reached us. Mungojerrie growled, preparing to leap at me again, but Rumpleteazer hissed, tackling him out of the way.

"Idiot!" she snarled, baring her teeth at him. "He wanted her unharmed!"

That's polite of him, I thought sarcastically, trying to gauge just how deeply I'd been scratched and wondering if I could still creep away unnoticed.

"She was gettin' away," Mungojerrie growled, glaring right back at her. "What else did you want me to do?"

"Not that!" Rumpleteazer snapped, and Mungojerrie hissed at her. "I swear, you don' think sometimes."

I took a small step backwards towards the grate, wincing at the sharp sting as my shoulder moved. The two cats looked like they were going to fight each other now, and I was more than ok with that if it meant I could escape. But of course, I couldn't be that lucky, right?

I took another step back, and slammed into something warm but solid. A heavy paw came down on my injured shoulder, and I barely managed to contain my yelp as it squeezed hard.

"While you two are bickering, your prey is escaping."

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer jumped, turning to face the new comer, and though they relaxed as they apparently recognized him, they still scowled.

"We had it under control," Mungojerrie grumbled as they approached.

"Yeah, I can see that." The Tom holding me chuckled, and poked my shoulder. This time I did yelp, and he chuckled again. "This is your handiwork, eh, Jer?"

Mungojerrie's lips curled in a silent snarl, but he said nothing this time, and Rumpleteazer huffed a sigh, though I could see the flicker of fear in her eyes as she glanced over at him.

"Let's jus' get her back, alright Jax?" she hissed, and the Tom jerked me around roughly, shoving me forward.

I stumbled, but managed not to fall, though my shoulder jarred and I hissed again in pain. I did not sign up for this, and I was really beginning to regret leaving the Junkyard.

"Just keep walkin'," Mungojerrie growled from my left side. "Or Jax'll give you a _real_ reason to whine."

"I wasn't whining," I snapped back at him, and he smirked at me, but didn't say anything more.

"So Jax," Rumpleteazer chirped from my right side, so much more light and bubbly now that she wasn't threatening my life. "Were you spyin' on us the whole time, or did'ja use your uncanny ability ta sense when someone was screwin' up?"

"Ha. Ha," Jax rumbled behind me, and I couldn't tell if he was actually amused or simply being sarcastic. But I wasn't about to turn around and look. I didn't even know what he looked like, but I knew from the sound of his voice and the way he'd gripped my shoulder that he was big, and a lot stronger than me; and there was no way I was going to risk making him angry.

I wasn't sure how long we walked, but it was well and truly dark by the time we turned down another side street, and a warehouse came into view. My paws ached from walking, and my shoulder was practically numb, and I couldn't help but feel slightly relieved that we'd seemed to reach our destination. I glanced around, trying to focus on where we were, but I couldn't make out the street sign from where I stood, and Jax shoved me forward again before I could get a good look. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer seemed to tense slightly as we approached the building, and my previous dread returned full force. If they were worried about something, what did that mean for me?

The warehouse seemed abandoned, but I followed them around the side anyway, and saw a pile of crates and packaging material half-hazardly leaning against the wall. Mungojerrie began to climb the stack, and Rumpleteazer leapt up nimbly, barely disturbing the pile as she leapt from perch to perch. I stopped at the bottom and stared up to the window that they were heading towards, and I shook my head slowly at seeing just how high up it was. It might not have been high for a human, but as a cat, it was much higher than a normal window. Now was probably not the time to mention my fear of heights.

"There is no way I'm climbing that thing," I said, forgetting for a moment who I was with. I turned around, prepared to walk away, and came face to face with Jax.

I didn't think it was possible for a cat to look burly, but Jax was burly; the pure definition of 'brawn.' He was much taller than Munkustrap, and I actually had to take a step back in order to look up at his face. His fur was a charcoal grey color, though it seemed darker in the night. His eyes were dark too, and he was missing the tip of his left ear, like it had been torn off in a fight. I didn't doubt that he'd been in a lot of fights, and I took another step back as he bared his teeth.

"Climb," he growled at me, and I turned back towards the pile. I wasn't going to try and fight my way past him like I had with Mungojerrie. Something told me he wouldn't take it as kindly, and that he was capable of doing much worse than a scratched shoulder.

I looked up at the sky, at the stars that were just starting to peek through the clouds. I thought about the Junkyard, the cats I had met, how they were probably worrying about me right now. I wondered if they'd come looking. I silently apologized to Munkustrap, letting him know that it wasn't his fault; I'd overreacted. I took a deep breath, then turned back to the pile and began to climb.

I squeezed through the window and found myself standing on a metal rigging of some kind, wires and beams crisscrossing precariously beneath my feet. Rumpleteazer giggled at the wary look on my face, and I snapped my gaze up to see her balancing easily on one narrow beam.

"Humans call this a cat-walk," she informed me proudly. "Fittin', ain't it?"

"Yeah. Fitting," I muttered, glancing back down so I could watch where I stepped. Jax squeezed through the window behind me, and we set off once more, climbing down through the cat-walk and into the heart of the building.

It was smaller than it looked on the outside, though still rather large, with several hallways and doors scattered throughout. I became aware of the sound of screaming and bellowing as we passed one particular door, and I flinched at a particularly loud scream that was abruptly cut off, and the bellowing turned into laughter.

"Ignore that," Rumpleteazer said quickly, and I looked over to see a look of equal parts disgust and fear on her face.

"What is that?" I started to ask, but she shook her head sharply, cutting me off.

"No. You don' wanna know."

Her eyes were hard, and I decided that I really didn't want to know, and kept my questions to myself. We travelled further into the warehouse, and the further we went, the more I felt like I was never going to leave. We approached a door at the end of the hall, and a heavy feeling settled into my gut. I felt like I was walking through water, everything slowing down and blurring suddenly, nothing quite making sense anymore. The door opened, and I felt afraid, feeling like the door opening was bad, but then I couldn't figure out why it was bad, and we were already walking through it.

I felt a sharp stab of clarity for a moment, and I looked around, noticing that Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had lowered themselves to ground in a sort of half-bow, and glancing back I could see that even Jax had inclined his head respectfully. Then the heavy feeling came back and I was crouching down too. I was trying to figure out why I was bowing when feet suddenly came into my view, and a voice spoke.

"Hello Persephone," the voice purred. "I must say it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

I froze, and it had nothing to do with the force that was making me bow; fear paralyzing me so deeply I couldn't move. I knew that voice, knew that low rumble, like silk and fire all at once. It was the voice from my nightmares.

It was the voice of Macavity.


	12. the devil you know is still a devil

**Hey guys, I hope I haven't left you hanging for too long. I have school and I've also been trying to get ahead in writing so in case I'm late with an update, you're not waiting for me to finish the chapter.**

 **To my reviewers!**

 **Evelyn Knight: I'm glad you thought the chapter was so exciting. Yes, it was unfortunate that my interaction with Grizabella wasn't longer, but don't worry, there will be more of her coming up. *hint hint* I'm also relieved that you liked my interpretations of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, there will also be more of them coming up, as well as some backstory on just how they wound up where they are.**

 **Guest (Aria): Thank you for the kind words! It meant a lot to hear you say you were thinking of my story even in your own rehearsals. That's really cool that you got to be in production of Cats! Who did you play? I hope you continue to read and enjoy. :)**

 **Now on to the chapter! Slight warning for mentions of blood and violence as well as implied sexual abuse.**

 **I hope you guys enjoy and don't forget to review!**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

I stared up into the face of evil in its most raw form, and I couldn't help but think that evil looked much more charming than I'd expected. I had been looking for the 'highly domed head', the 'sunken in eyes,' the brow that was 'deeply lined with thought.' I was looking for a maniacal laugh, and crazy gleaming eyes. I was looking for the devil in feline form, and instead I was faced with Macavity.

Macavity was a devil, there was no mistake about that. But I couldn't see the ruthless psychopath. I saw a cat with long, unruly fur, bright shades of orange and red licking across his body in a way that made him look like he was on fire. No, like he _was_ the fire. He had a splash of white across his chest, and a few stray stripes of black mixed into the red of his coat. His eyes were a brilliant shade of green, a deep and clear green; like the picture perfect image of a grassy field kind of green.

And he was smiling.

It startled me to see him smiling. It wasn't an 'I'm going to kill you any second' kind of smile; it was an 'I'm genuinely happy to see you' kind of smile. And that scared me more than the other smile. I flinched when he laughed, a soft amused chuckle as he watched me take him in, and I couldn't help but shift back a step as he approached me.

"There's no need to look so nervous," he said, circling me slowly. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"You'll forgive me if I don't find that reassuring," I said before I could stop myself, and I saw both Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer stiffen beside me.

Macavity just chuckled again, his eyes flashing, and for just a second I saw that dangerous gleam I'd been looking for. Then it disappeared, and he continued his examination of me. I tried not feel self-conscious, but I was very aware of the fact that he was extremely dangerous and unpredictable, and he could snap at any second. He stopped off to my left side, and I sucked in a breath as his paws hovered just above my wounded shoulder.

"What's this?"

His voice was soft, and I couldn't tell if the emotion was anger or simple curiosity. Nothing could be simple with Macavity, though, and I shifted my feet anxiously as he continued to stare, waiting for an answer. No one spoke, not even Jax, and Macavity turned slowly to face Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, an unreadable expression on his face.

"I thought I had made it clear she was not to be harmed," he continued lowly, and I shuddered at the sound of his voice; so calm, but promising violence.

Mungojerrie's tail flicked his sides anxiously, but Rumpleteazer shrugged one shoulder, not making eye contact as she broke the silence.

"She ran."

Macavity's head whipped sharply to stare at her, and she looked up at him, cool in the face of his anger. "It was either chase her or let 'er go; didn't think you'd appreciate lettin' her go."

"I _appreciate_ my orders being followed," he growled, and Rumpleteazer's casual façade slipped just enough for me to see the fear flicker across her face before it was gone. I wondered if my assumptions had been wrong after all, and that maybe they weren't as into this as I had believed. Before I could take my thoughts any further, Macavity spoke, and I found myself snapping to attention, anxious to hear what he said.

"Ajax, if you would be so kind as to escort our guest to where she'll be staying. I have matters to discuss with these two."

I heard a quiet grunt of assent from behind me, and before I could fully process what was happening, I found myself being lead from the room. The door closed firmly behind me, and I stared at it a few moments, trying to decide if I wanted to know what was going to happen to Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer.

"This way," Jax rumbled, and I turned back to see him standing at the end of the hall, an impatient look on his face.

I glanced back at the door a final time, then hurried after him, staying close to his side to avoid getting lost. And to avoid any further shoving on his part. I glanced around the dark hallways, jumping at the tiniest noise, tense and anxious as I travelled down some stairs further into the heart of the warehouse.

"So," I finally said, if only to distract from my fear. "Ajax, huh? Is that your real name, or…" I drawled off as he glowered down at me, his teeth bared in a silent snarl.

"Right, ok." I fell silent then, and he huffed quietly before shoving open a door to his right.

"In," he growled, nodding his head towards the open room, and I carefully crept past him, stepping into the darkness.

The door shut firmly behind me, a latch clicking with finality and echoing in my ears. I took a slow breath, trying to calm my racing heart and thoughts, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. As they adjusted, I realized the room wasn't as dark as I thought, a dim light shining from somewhere further in, though I couldn't quite make out its source. My ears pricked suddenly, and I froze as I tried to understand the shift in the air that I sensed. I took a careful step, every sense on high alert, and I drew another breath, trying to filter through all the scents.

I felt like I was being watched, and I couldn't even scold myself for the cliché because I could _feel_ eyes on me, even if I couldn't see them. Then a voice spoke up, and I jumped so hard I actually felt my feet leave the floor.

"Hey look at that, he's got another one. What does that make now, then?"

"Third in the last year or so."

" _Year_?"

"I think you're counting wrong."

"I _know_ you're counting wrong."

A hiss rang out at that, and I spun around anxiously, trying to see where the voices were coming from.

"We're scaring her, someone turn that light up."

"But Jax…"

"Won't know the difference. Just turn it up so we can all see."

The dim light grew brighter, and I squinted at the blurry shapes that gradually appeared before me. I couldn't make out anything other than a few faces, but slowly the light grew, and I was finally able to see that cats that were surrounding me. There were four of them, all Queens, all ranging in age, size and color. The most prominent of the bunch was a tall, lean, Sphinx-like cat with creamy gold fur and black spots on her body that reminded me of a cheetah. Her eyes were a pale grey, sharp and calculating, but I could see something resembling a smile on her face as she stared at me.

"There now, that's better," she said, and I slowly lifted myself from my wary crouch, taking them all in.

"What's your name, then?" Another cat spoke up, and I turned to see a smoky blue Queen, with small ears and electric orange eyes peering at me curiously.

"Persephone," I whispered, unable to break my stare. Her eyes seemed to stare into my soul, but she was smiling, and I carefully relaxed again.

"You wouldn't happen to know any other cats by that name, would you?" The Sphinx/cheetah said, and I shook my head.

"No, but I've heard about her," I answered. "Not much, but enough."

"We're being rude," a small white Queen scolded the group, her eyes narrowed. The others turned to her in confusion, and she scowled.

"Names," she hissed, and I recognized her hiss as the one who'd spoken before; the one who'd named me as second in a year.

"Right," the Sphinx replied, and she turned to me with an apologetic smile. "I'm Jezabel."

"We all just call her Jez," the small Queen said. "Makes it easier."

"It's really not that hard to say," Jezabel grumbled, but the small Queen shoved herself forward, ignoring her.

"I'm Svetlana," she purred, her blue eyes bright as she introduced herself.

"We all just caller her Lana," Jez said, mimicking her. "Makes it easier."

The other Queens laughed while Svetlana growled, her ears pinning back against her head. Her fur would have been pure white if it weren't for the dust and the darkness covering it, and she had short legs that held her long body just above the ground, a small bob of a tail twitching behind her. The smoky blue Queen stepped forward, her orange eyes twinkling as she stared at me.

"Artemis," she said simply, then stepped back, and Jez nodded her head towards the last of them, a small Queen-kit with long cream colored fur, her tail and paws dipped with a chocolate-black. Her face was white, but she had small splash of chocolate across her eyes and nose, and her tail fluffed up when she noticed me staring at her. She wasn't as young as I had thought at first glance, about as old as the kittens in the Junkyard, closer to adolescent just bordering on young adult. She was clearly not as well fed as the Jellicle cats, making her seem younger than she really was.

"That's Smudge," Jez said, smiling as the kit hissed quietly at me. "She doesn't talk, but that's what we call her.

"Why Smudge?" I asked curiously, smiling myself as the kit tucked herself into a small ball and glared at me.

"Because of the smudge on her face," Jez explained, and I nodded my understanding.

"Whose is she?" I asked, and they slowly fell silent.

"She's ours," Artemis snapped firmly, her orange eyes flashing. "Smudge's mother is dead, as far as we're concerned."

I blinked, surprised by her vehemence, but I decided it was best not to press the subject.

"Why are you all here?" I asked instead, looking around at them. "I mean, what's your…purpose?" I faltered as I was given three glares of differing intensity, and Svetlana's eyes were hard as she stalked towards me.

"What do you think we're here for, dearie?" She hissed. Jez flicked her tail at her, and she stopped just short of biting range.

"I'd like to think the most optimistic thing I can," I muttered, backing away from her slowly. Artemis gave a huff behind me, and I turned to see her fiery eyes gleaming with bitterness.

"I remember when I was optimistic," she growled. "Optimism won't get you anything here."

"Maybe dead," Svetlana chimed in. "If you're lucky."

"Enough!" Jez hissed sharply, though I could see even her gaze seemed heavy as she glared at them. "There's no need to frighten her."

"No need to be honest, you mean," Artemis hissed right back, and Jez rose from her seat beside me to confront the other Queen head on. "We can't hide her away like we do Smudge. She'll have to face it eventually."

Jez growled lowly, her ears pinning against her head, and Svetlana stood, walking over slowly to stand beside Artemis. Smudge backed away from the group slowly, her body tense and eyes wide as she stared at Jez. I glanced back and forth between the cats as they stared each other down, confused and terrified by what I was hearing.

"Is that what I'm here for?" I asked, and Artemis glanced over at me, her eyes narrowing in thought.

"Young, pretty…you won't be with us long, that's for sure."

"That's enough!" Jez snapped, but before she could launch herself at Artemis, Svetlana shoved her way between them; giving me an accusing look before turning to face the growling Queens.

"Come on, Jez," Svetlana said wearily, her tail gently flicking her side. "Is this really necessary?"

Jez seemed to pause, though her eyes were still hard as she stared at Artemis, who calmly stared back.

"You know better than all of us how things go around here," she said quietly, no longer angry. "There's no use trying to deny it."

"Or fight about it," Svetlana added sternly, and I could see the anger slowly fading from Jez's eyes.

Artemis relaxed as well, and instead of attacking, she stepped forward and gently nuzzled Jez's face with her own.

"We have to be together on this," she said lowly. "We can't have another repeat of history, now can we?"

Jez gave a short bark of laughter, relaxing completely as she returned her affection. "No, you're right. I was overreacting."

"You were," Svetlana grumbled, but there was a softness in her eyes that betrayed the rough tone. "You care too much, I keep saying it."

"We can't all be aloof and unemotional like you," Jez teased back, and the tension in the air completely evaporated as they all laughed.

"I'm sorry," I said, creeping forward slowly. "What just happened? I feel like I missed…everything."

Svetlana rolled her eyes, huffing again, but Jez and Artemis turned to face me, similar expressions of amusement on their faces. Before I could receive an explanation, all three Queens stiffened suddenly, fur bristling and ears cocked towards the door.

"Artemis," Jez whispered, but the Queen was already moving, darting across the room to grab Smudge by the scruff of her neck. The kit opened her mouth in a silent mew of protest, but Artemis carried her off to the back of the room, quickly disappearing from view.

"What is it?" I asked Jez, instinctively inching closer to her. "I don't understand."

"You will," she murmured. "In a moment."

The latch clicked just as Artemis came scurrying back, and Jez nudged my shoulder.

"With me," she said, leaping forward, her long legs carrying her to the closest wall. I scrambled after her as the door opened, and a small group of cats entered. I shivered as I recognized Macavity, who strode confidently to the center of the room, surveying each corner with a cool air.

"Alright, enough hide and seek," he rumbled, flicking his tail.

Jez rose to her feet, and I could hear the sounds of the other Queens doing the same from wherever they had tucked themselves away. I stood slowly, but Jez bent over me, stopping me from moving.

"Stay close," she said, then stepped out into the room.

I followed her, pressing myself close to her side. Her tail brushed my side comfortingly, and I could see Artemis and Lana creeping out from the opposite wall. Macavity's eyes barely swept over them, instead turning to Jez and I, who tensed under his gaze and shifted even closer to me.

"Jez," he drawled, amusement in his voice as he grinned. "I should have known you would take her."

Jez scoffed, her eyes flickering almost accusingly towards the others. "Well I knew Artemis wouldn't play nice, and Lana never likes the new kids."

Macavity chuckled at her response, while Artemis hissed her indignation and Svetlana gave her own silent hiss as she glared at Jez and I. I glanced around, trying to understand this sudden shift in the dynamic.

"Is there a specific reason for this visit?" Jez asked, and though her question seemed out of place, there was a tense politeness with which she said it. Macavity nodded, his eyes locking on me.

"A trade of sorts," he said, and gave a flick of his tail. The two other cats that had come in with him left the room, and came back dragging a burlap square between them. There was something wrapped up in the material, but I couldn't see what it was from where I stood.

"I'll take Persephone, and you can look after this for me," he continued.

I looked back over at Macavity to see him watching me expectantly, and I pulled myself away from Jez's side; walking without really wanting to, but knowing that I didn't have a choice. Jez stiffened, her lips pulling back in a silent hiss, but Macavity smirked in response.

"Don't worry Jez," he purred. "I'll bring her back."

Jez growled low in her throat, clearly not pleased with the situation, but she made no move to stop me as I crossed the room to Macavity. His hench-cats held the door open for us as we left, closing it firmly and locking it once we were through. The walk was silent as I followed Macavity through the warehouse, trying to hold onto my courage and remain calm. I somehow managed to keep up the façade until we reached a small office, and the door was closed and locked behind me. It occurred to me just how far from home I was, and that I was alone with Macavity, and that they didn't call him the Napoléon of Crime for no reason.

Macavity himself seemed very relaxed for the situation, walking easily into the room and pulling a chair from the table in the center. I crept closer, every nerve tingling with suspense, and I noticed that the table was actually a worn out pool table, the green felt all but threads against the wooden surface. Macavity leaned casually against the table, motioning to the chair he'd just moved, and I was reminded of a mafia leader interrogating a prisoner. The image was influence even further as I sat and Macavity crossed his arms, his green eyes intense as they bore into mine.

"Do you know why you're here, Persephone?"

I blinked, unsure how to answer that question in a way that didn't terrify me. There were so many different things I could be here for, each more horrible than the last, and I wordlessly shook my head.

"You're here because you interest me."

Again, I could think of nothing; horrible scenarios playing out in my mind. I opted to stay silent, and Macavity pushed himself away from the table, circling me slowly, his arms still crossed over his chest.

"You're here because of your knowledge," he continued smoothly, and I had to resist the urge to turn and watch him as he paced. Instead, I kept my eyes forward, trying to maintain an air of indifference; as though I wasn't terrified out of my mind. I couldn't make sense of what he was saying, though, and I abandoned my facade in favor of questioning him.

"My knowledge?" I repeated, turning to face him, only to discover that he wasn't where I thought he'd be.

"Yes," he responded, and I whirled back to find him right in front of me, green eyes blazing. "You were chosen because somehow, you have information that I don't."

"Such as...?" I drawled nervously, and his mouth twisted into what may or may not have been a smile.

"You are aware of the Junkyard, and my plans for it. You know whether I succeed or fail..."

"Fail," I broke in immediately, nodding my head slightly. "Yeah, definitely fail. It's kind of epic too. I mean, not for you since you d…"

My words abruptly died off as Macavity towered over me, placing his paws on either side of the chair to glare down at me.

"Precisely my point," he whispered, and I shivered in spite of myself. "I brought you here for your knowledge; you know how I fail and why."

"You let your arrogance blind you, bit off more than you could chew, were hopelessly outnumbered and..." I trailed off again, wincing at the murderous look on his face.

"Sorry," I whispered, shrinking in my seat. "Sorry, sorry I...ramble when I...sorry."

I bit my lip nervously, but he simply stared, still slightly murderous.

"You know what goes wrong," he repeated, daring me to interrupt him again. "And you will help me fix it."

"How do you figure I'd do that? I mean, what makes you think I'd ever help you?"

I was trying to appear braver than I really was, my head still reeling from the information. Macavity smiled, and it was that terrifying 'I'm going to kill you now' smile that I'd been looking for earlier. I regretted sitting in the chair as I was now left with no way to retreat as he stalked towards me slowly.

"Let me guess, this is the part where you threaten me and everything I hold dear?" I stammered, rambling again as I noticed his claws had been unsheathed. "Because I'd hate to be the one to inform you that I am significantly lacking in the friends and family department." At least in this world.

He chuckled smoothly, shaking his head slightly. "Oh, I don't do threats, Persephone. Threats are so vile."

He was right in front of me now, his eyes blazing with fire, and this time my paralysis had nothing to do with fear. I couldn't pull myself away no matter how hard I tried, and all I could see was the grin on his face as leaned towards me, his voice a low whisper in my ear.

"I make promises. And I _always_ keep my promises."

* * *

Macavity's 'promise,' as it turned out, was a series of long, deep scratches; far surpassing the scratch Mungojerrie had given on my shoulder. My arms bore several small gashes from when I'd thrown my arms up to protect my face, though the worst were the three larger wounds along my side, from where his claws had grabbed me as I tried to run. He had then verbally promised that I would change my mind, and I was too traumatized to try and argue with him this time.

Ajax had escorted me back to the room with the other Queens, and Jez looked ready to murder someone when she saw the state I was in. I would have laughed at her fierce attitude if I weren't in such pain, and I made no protests as she worked to patch me up. Svetlana was nowhere to be found, but Artemis helped Jez clean me up, her piercing eyes subdued and apologetic.

"What was in the bag?" I asked, if only to distract from the sting as they rubbed some kind of ointment into my wounds.

Jez made a questioning sound, though Artemis continued working. I pointed to the empty burlap, and her expression cleared, though she made no attempt to answer me.

"Jez?" I repeated, wincing at another sharp sting.

"It's nothing you need to worry about," she said, her lips pursed slightly.

"I heard that before," I muttered. Silence met my words, and I winced again, though this time it had nothing to do with my injuries.

"I'm sorry," I said, dropping my head. "I'm sorry, that was low."

"It's alright," Jez said, but I could hear something in her voice that told me it wasn't quite. I shook my head a little.

"I just…never pictured myself in a situation like this."

That was truth; how could I have pictured being turned in a cat and transported into the world of Cats, only to wind up kidnapped and held hostage by the most insane villain known to cat kind.

"No one ever does," Artemis chimed in. "But it's not a reason to get snippy with the people who're just trying to help."

"Mis!" Jez hissed, but I nodded in agreement.

"No, I get it. She's right, and I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Jez said again, but this time she meant it.

"Ugh, all this touchy feely's makin' me sick," a voice snapped abruptly, and I jumped, turning to see Rumpleteazer making her way towards us, Svetlana close on her heels and carrying Smudge in her mouth.

"Teaser?" I asked, staring in surprise at her. Or rather, the impressive array of bruises that littered her body. Her eyes narrowed when she caught me staring, baring her teeth at me as she stretched stiffly before lowering herself to the ground.

"Didn' say you could call me that," she grumbled, still glaring.

"Sorry," I stammered. "Sorry, it just…slipped." I focused my attention on Smudge, who was trying to pounce on Rumpleteazer's tail, which kept twitching away each time she jumped.

She huffed a sigh, and I glanced back up to see her giving me a begrudging look. "Didn' say you couldn't," she offered, and my brows raised slightly in surprise.

"Lana," Artemis hissed, glaring at the white Queen. "I thought you were supposed to be…"

"You try keeping this one in one place and tell me how that works out for you," Svetlana responded, jerking her head towards Rumpleteazer.

Rumpleteazer snorted derisively, lifting her chin slightly. "I'm not an invalid," she said. "'S no reason for you to keep me here if I don' wanna be here."

Svetlana spluttered wordlessly, motioning helplessly towards Rumpleteazer. Jez shook her head, exasperated, while Artemis glared at the lounging Queen.

"Fine," she said to Svetlana. "Just watch out for Smudge, then."

"Can't do that either," Svetlana grumbled. "For reasons unknown to me, Smudge has attached herself to Rumpleteazer."

I couldn't help but laugh slightly as Smudge continued to pester the Queen, still not succeeding in catching her tail. Svetlana and Artemis eventually left, leaving me and Jez behind with Smudge and Rumpleteazer. Rumpleteazer looked somewhere between annoyed and amused as she watched the kitten, and I stared at them both, still trying to figure Rumpleteazer out.

"You gonna say somethin' or just keep starin' at me?" Rumpleteazer said, and I started as I realized she was matching my stare, the annoyance stronger on her face.

"Sorry," I muttered, and she huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Will you quit with the sorry?" she snapped. "I'm not gonna hurt you or anythin'."

"No, just attack me and kidnap me; hold me against my will." I said it without thinking, and I froze, waiting for her to get angry.

Instead, she shrugged, her gaze cool as she responded. "Job's a job."

I blinked, caught off guard by her answer. "How…how did you wind up with this one?" I tried to keep my tone casual, but her eyes still hardened slightly at my question.

"I mean," I tried again. "Why Macavity?"

She smirked, but I could see something in her eyes that made me think it wasn't quite genuine. "It was fun."

"Fun?" I repeated, and she gave a short chuckle as Jez gave a low growl under her breath.

"Yeah, it was fun," Rumpleteazer repeated. "Could do what we wanted, cause all sorts a trouble. Weren't many rules ta follow, just a who and a what. Long as we did the jobs, we could visit the Junkyard as we pleased, and go home to our human family at night."

There was a nostalgic feel to her words, a past tense, and I paused a moment to really take her in. Her eyes echoed the nostalgia in her voice, and I frowned slightly, wondering if I'd been too quick to judge her and Mungojerrie.

"What changed?" I asked, and her expression shifted, that hardness from earlier coming back.

"D'you always ask this many questions? Or are you jus' particularly curious?"

I faltered, trying to think of a response, but Rumpleteazer suddenly froze, her ears going back and teeth baring as she turned towards the door. Smudge took advantage of her distraction and tackled her from behind, and Rumpleteazer sat up abruptly, causing the kitten to lose her grip and tumble to the floor. Jez darted forward and scooped her up, running to hide her as the bolt on the door clicked. Artemis and Svetlana came running up just as the door itself banged open, and Rumpleteazer shot to her feet, fur bristling as Ajax and another cat came in, dragging something between them.

Rumpleteazer's growl died off, turning into a whispered curse as she focused on the thing that was tossed in. No one moved until the door had slammed closed again, And Rumpleteazer launched herself across the room, sliding to a stop beside the unmoving lump with a soft cry.

"Jerrie!" she cried, paws hovering anxiously. I drew closer, and gave my own soft noise of horror.

Mungojerrie was still and lifeless on the floor of the warehouse, his fur alternately ruffled and matted with blood. His face was barely recognizable as his own, so bruised and stained that his eyes were hardly visible. I lingered just off to Rumpleteazer's side, feeling helpless as she frantically tried to rouse him. He finally gave a rough imitation of a groan, and Rumpleteazer's relief was so strong it was like a visible aura.

"Jer," she murmured again, pressing her face close to his.

He gave a muffled whimper of pain, his eyes blinking as he struggled to focus on where he was. His head turned, and his eyes narrowed into a pained glare as he spotted me standing there. Rumpleteazer pulled away in surprise as he stiffened, and he bared his teeth in a grimace as he shifted towards me.

"M-message for you," he groaned, before his eyes rolled up and he collapsed back to the floor.

"Jerrie!" Rumpleteazer screamed, reaching for him again, only to be pulled away by Artemis.

"Calm down," the older Queen hissed, bright eyes narrow with malice. "He's not dead."

Rumpleteazer gave a shaky noise of relief as Jez and Artemis began caring for Mungojerrie, carefully dragging him away from the door and to a more secluded spot. Her eyes were still worried as we turned to watch them, but her voice was hard when she spoke to me.

"What'd he mean? What message for you?"

I shook my head, and Rumpleteazer left to follow after Jez and Artemis; but as I stared at the spot where Mungojerrie had been and the faint red stain in the floor, I couldn't help but feel that I knew exactly what he had meant. Macavity didn't need any of my friends or family to give me an example of what was to come. Threats _were_ vile, but promises…promises were meant to be kept. And I didn't doubt that Macavity hadn't been lying when he said he always kept his.

* * *

 **I know, another cliffhanger! I thought I'd include the breeds of the cats I introduced in case anyone wanted to do a quick search to know what they looked like. I put it at the end to avoid spoilers. ;)**

 **Jezabel (Jez) - Jez is a Cheetoh cat. Yes, that is the correct name. A Cheetoh is a cross between a Bengal and an Ocicat, which gives them their distinct spots and wild look/nature.**

 **Artemis- Artemis is a blue British Shorthair, the same breed of cat as the Cheshire Cat.**

 **Smudge- Smudge is a Munchkin cat, a relatively new breed of cat, that stays small their entire lives.**

 **Svetlana- Svetlana is a Himalayan cat, similar to the Persian cat, like Snowball from Stuart Little.**

 **And there's the cat info of the day! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and I look forward to your reviews!**

 **\- Raven**


	13. might as well dance a tango

**Hey guys! Thought I'd give you a bit of an early update as a treat for Father's Day. Happy Father's Day to all the Dads, father figures, and even single moms out there doing it all. :)**

 **To my reviewers!**

 **Evelyn Knight: I'm glad you're enjoying my story so much, it's always good to hear from you. I'm also relieved at the positive reception to my OCs, I know too many can crowd a story, but I'm glad you like them. I can't say too much about Macavity's plans without spoiling things, but I will say that I am not following traditional fan theories for this story. I will make honorable mentions of them, but I am not following them, if that's any comfort. ;)**

 **Aira (Guest): That's so cool you got be Gus! I'm not a great performer, but I'd always wanted to be in even a local version of Cats. Unfortunately it's not all that popular compared to other shows, so none of my local theatres do it. :( I'm also happy you like my OCs, I had a fun time thinking of unique names for them. And yes, Macavity is definitely one of those hate to love, love to hate villains! I actually delve into his backstory and the Jellicle's history a bit more in this chapter so be on the look out for that.**

 ***Hopefully without spoiling too much, this chapter contains mild violence and mentions of blood and death, as well as implied abuse, so warnings for that.***

 **Also, the chapter title is a reference to Rent the musical, but I do not own Rent or Cats in any way.**

 **Hope you guys enjoy, and I look forward to hearing what you think!**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

It was hard to tell time in the warehouse, given that there were no windows or clocks in the basement. The days were split between when food was brought, or when one of the Queens left to go upstairs. There was always a heavy feeling in the air when they came back, but Jez always did her best to smile at me and give the appearance of 'alright,' even if she wasn't. Rumpleteazer left on what Artemis had said was the third day after my arrival, but Mungojerrie remained, still recovering from his multitude of wounds. He hadn't regained consciousness, though Jez and Artemis were confident that he would recover. Rumpleteazer was always by his side when she came down, waiting anxiously for him to wake up.

I 'visited' Macavity twice more in that length of time, each time learning more and more about his plans. I still had refused to play a part in it, much to his…displeasure. I was grateful at least, that my fur, while short, was thick enough to hide most of the damage he caused. I was still wary and anxious around him, however, and I was quickly beginning to learn his limits. Macavity was a surprisingly patient cat, but he would only tolerate so much before he snapped.

"What's all this for?" I asked, staring around the room and seeing papers strewn about in disarray. The pool table had been tipped on its side, and a large spreadsheet of some kind was pinned to it, which Macavity was poring over as I entered his office.

"Work," he muttered, not bothering to turn around. I poked at a paper with my paw, but it quickly slid away from my reach. I looked up to see Macavity glaring at me, the paper clutched tightly in his paw. I stared back calmly, and he placed the paper by his side before turning back to the chart. I sighed quietly in relief, but I also couldn't help but feel a little curious. I knew Macavity had magic, but this was the first time he'd ever openly displayed it in front of me, and I was trying to figure out why it felt like a big deal.

"I thought you were working on a plan for the Junkyard," I finally said, breaking the silence. Macavity moved something on the chart, but didn't turn around as he spoke.

"Believe me, I haven't forgotten about my plan. But I have other things to work on as well."

"You mean it isn't a twenty-four hour obsession?" I said with fake surprise. "I'm shocked."

Macavity growled, and I fell silent, but I was smiling to myself. It was an interesting thing, our dance, walking that fine line and seeing just how far I could push. A game of cat and mouse, almost, where the mouse knows the cat can catch it, but teases it anyway just for fun.

"If you're so concerned," Macavity drawled. "You could…"

"No." I said firmly, and he chuckled, finally turning from the paper to face me.

"So certain," he said, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "But I guarantee…"

"I know," I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "You keep saying I'll change my mind, but I'd say I'm doing a good job of sticking with what I said. Which is no."

Macavity's eyes flashed a brighter green, and that was all the warning I needed to shut up. I'd learned (the hard way) that Macavity only tolerated one sarcastic remark per visit, and that was one rule I wasn't keen on pushing again. He stalked towards me slowly, and I backed away a step as he approached.

"You're so loyal to them," he growled. "But what have they done for you?"

"They didn't have to take me in when they found me," I replied carefully, watching him begin to pace a circle around me. "But they did, and…"

"And?" he sneered. "There was no 'and.' They took you in, yes, but they didn't make you a part of the Tribe; you're not one of them."

"Neither are you," I shot back before I could catch myself, and I cringed, waiting for him to lash out at me for the comment. He simply growled another warning as he continued to pace, but I noticed that his claws and come unsheathed, and I knew that I wouldn't get away with it a second time. It was time to tip toe instead of dance.

"You're right," he finally acknowledged, and I glanced up at him in surprise. "I'm not one of them; not anymore."

"Is that why you hate them?" I questioned softly, careful to keep my posture submissive. "Because they kicked you out?"

"Kicked me out?" he repeated with a sharp laugh. "I _chose_ to leave."

"But I thought…," I began, before falling silent in confusion.

"What?" he snapped, and I flinched as he turned on me, green eyes blazing. "What did you _think_? What do you _know_ about me?"

His words dug like knives, and I shook my head wordlessly, at a loss. I didn't know anything about Macavity other than that he was evil incarnate, and the little bit that Exotica had managed to show me before…. But the fandom was so full of theories it was hard to decide which the story was. What was generally agreed upon was that Macavity, Munkustrap, and Tugger were Old Deuteronomy's sons, and that Macavity had magic. Somewhere along the way, something happened to set him over the edge; either Munkustrap was chosen as Protector over him, or he was experimenting with his magic and killed another cat, or kidnapped Demeter and left with her. The more common belief was that he'd murdered someone, and had been exiled, but I had no way of knowing that for sure.

"Well?" he snarled, and I realized he was still waiting for my answer. I stammered soundlessly as I tried to piece together what little I knew from this world, but the only thing that leapt out at me was….

"Grizabella," I whispered, and Macavity faltered, the fire dying suddenly from his eyes.

"What?"

"Grizabella," I repeated, a little more confident in my knowledge. "You were close with Grizabella. She…took care of you."

"How do you know that?" his voice was a low hiss, the anger back in his glare, and it was my turn to falter as he advanced once more.

"Exotica," I stammered out. "She…."

"Of course she did," he growled, almost to himself. "She always loved to meddle."

"What does Exotica have to do with Grizabella?" I asked, forgetting myself for the moment. "And why do you hate her?"

Macavity growled again, a little louder, and I staggered backwards as a sharp pain blossomed across my face. Before I could fully process that pain, another blow caught me from the opposite side. I scrambled away blindly, my paws flying instinctively to my face and coming away painted red. Macavity was still growling, but when I snapped my head up to meet his gaze, he wasn't there. I pressed my paw to my face again, wincing and cursing my stupidity. The dance had changed and I'd missed my cue; now I was paying for it.

"Let me make this perfectly clear," Macavity's voice hissed from the air. "This is not a game. I am the one making the rules; you survive only as long as I see some sort of use for you."

Another blow caught me from behind, and I stumbled forward, barely managing to avoid falling. I spun around, but he was still nowhere to be seen.

"Make no mistake, Persephone," he spat, once again from behind me. "I can send you back to where you are from, but as long as you are here, you are _mine_. Is that understood?"

"Pretty sure you can't own a person," I stammered, if only to cover my fear. "I mean, it goes against nature…and ethical…."

I staggered back as he leapt at me, tumbling under him and wincing each time his claws struck. I scrambled back towards the wall, feeling my fur raise defensively. I wouldn't dare try and fight him, but I wasn't going to become a punching bag, either. He leapt at me again, and I bared my teeth in a futile attempt to intimidate as I was pinned beneath him once more. There was nowhere for to go, and we both knew it. He bared his own teeth at me, a low growl rumbling in his throat.

"Is. That. Understood?"

I nodded, unable to keep the tremble from the voice as I answered. "Very understood."

"Good." He smiled then, retreating only enough to allow me to get to my feet, and I shivered as he leered at me, green eyes bright with malice. "Now if there are no further _questions,_ let's begin."

His plan was simple and straightforward in theory; topple the Junkyard. To do that, he would take away their pillar and foundation: Old Deuteronomy. The problem there, however, was once he had Deuteronomy, what would be done with him.

"You wouldn't…kill him, would you?" I asked, and he shot me a glare.

"That's not something you need to worry about. Your job is to make sure my plans succeed."

I bit my tongue and nodded my understanding, though I couldn't help but feel that even here, I was told not to question. To just go along with it.

"What was that?" Macavity snapped, whirling on my suddenly, and I scrambled away hastily.

"I didn't say anything!" I was quick to defend, but he shook his head, peering at me closely.

"That thought you had," he said. "About the Junkyard."

"It's rude to read someone's thoughts without asking," I said, echoing Tantomile's words to Coricopat. "Didn't anyone teach you that?"

"I'm a terrible learner," he deadpanned, growling slightly.

"I just meant," I backpedaled quickly. "That even though I was part of the Junkyard, I wasn't really…part of the Junkyard. I just sort of had to accept things the way they were, and I didn't really get explanations for my questions."

His eyes took on a thoughtful look, and he hummed quietly to himself as he stared at me. I shuffled anxiously under his gaze, not sure if he was just thinking of ways to kill me or if he was truly pondering my words.

"A bit of both," he muttered. "But I think…I think I'd like to show you something."

"Oh no," I said, shaking my head quickly and backing away. "No, that's never a good…."

The ground lurched under my feet before I finished my sentence, and darkness swept Macavity and the warehouse away. When it cleared, and my head stopped spinning, I was standing in the Junkyard, just outside of a familiar looking den.

"What…?" I started to ask, and Macavity's voice filtered in, low and bitter.

"Just so there is no confusion; this is not a sign of trust. I merely think that it would be… _beneficial_ for you to have some understanding."

"How is it to my benefit to view the memories of a psychopath?" I retorted, but there was no answer, and I huffed a sigh before walking forward and into the den.

I started when I realized that it was Grizabella's den, and this memory seemed to begin just where the one Exotica had shown me had cut off.

"Yes, that was intentional," Macavity growled impatiently. "And if you are just going to comment on everything you are seeing…."

"Got it," I muttered, and fell silent once more.

Old Deuteronomy stood in the doorway, a grieved expression on his face, and I squeezed past him to see Grizabella standing with her fur raised, Macavity still in her arms.

"Grizzle," Deuteronomy greeted, inclining his head to her before glancing down.

"Macavity," he acknowledged with a sad smile.

"Deuteronomy." Grizabella's tone was stiff but respectful as she stared at the older cat. Deuteronomy sighed heavily, his gaze turning to Macavity, who stiffened in Grizabella's grip.

"I heard about the fire," Deuteronomy said, and Macavity's fur bristled while Grizabella spoke, still in that stiff respectful tone.

"It was an accident."

"So I've been told."

Grizabella growled softly at that, her eyes narrowing, and Deuteronomy sighed again before turning back to Macavity.

"Macavity, would you wait outside a moment?"

Macavity lifted his head to look to Grizabella for confirmation. She nodded at him, and he pulled from her arms to exit the den, barely glancing at Deuteronomy as he did so.

"What am I going to do with him?" he muttered sadly.

"He's only a kitten," Grizabella responded. "He can't be expected to…"

"But it _is_ expected of him, Grizzle," Deuteronomy intoned. "As my son, it's expected of him, and what he does reflects on me as his father and as the tribe leader."

"Yes, I'm sure it must be a terrible thing for you," Grizabella said, and the respect had dropped from her voice, leaving only the stiffness.

"What is this really about then, Grizzle?"

"You're never here. I understand that you have other responsibilities, but as his father, you have a responsibility to him as well."

"And you think I don't understand that?"

"You don't come around often enough for me to tell, and when you do, you're with Munkustrap or Tugger. Not him."

"It's different, and you know that."

"He doesn't."

Deuteronomy slumped dejectedly at that, while Grizabella continued to stare at him accusingly.

"The truth is I don't understand him," Deuteronomy said quietly. "A terrible thing to admit, but I can't reach out to him, and with his magic…I don't know how."

"You have to be there for him first," Grizabella replied. "Then you can reach out."

Deuteronomy faltered, and Grizabella sighed, softening and taking a step towards him. "I understand, Deuteronomy," she said. "Really, I do. I may not be his mother, but I'm all he has to turn to. It's hard for him."

"It's hard for me!" Deuteronomy protested, but there was a lightness with which he said it, and Grizabella scoffed, though her gaze was no longer angry or accusing.

"What will happen?" she asked quietly, and Deuteronomy frowned, sobering once more.

"There are many who are calling for his banishment, though none dare mention it straightforwardly. Instead, they call it a 'break,' or else a 'vacation,' of sorts."

"You wouldn't-," Grizabella began, but Deuteronomy gave her a look, and she caught herself.

"What, then?" she insisted instead. "I've already said he should apologize to Jellylorum."

"He'll be doing a bit more than that," Deuteronomy said. "He'll be helping to rebuild her den."

"Is that a good idea?" Grizabella asked. "With what they already think of him…and the fact that Jellylorum hates him…."

"She would never do anything to act on those feelings," Deuteronomy said with a slight growl. "Especially not while I'm here."

"You mean…you're staying?"

"Until this is resolved," Deuteronomy affirmed with a nod, but Grizabella's eyes narrowed, and she took another step towards him.

"What is it that you're not saying?"

"Until he learns to control it…," Deuteronomy hesitated, but pushed on with a grim determination. "It has been decided that Macavity's magic will be bound."

Grizabella's eyes widened in horror, before narrowing once more in anger. "And who has decided this?" she hissed.

Deuteronomy gave no answer, and she hissed again, furious. "How is he supposed to learn to control it if he won't even be able to use it?"

"Exotica has volunteered to teach him," Deuteronomy replied, and Grizabella bared her teeth in a snarl.

"And has Exotica also volunteered to be the one to bind him?"

Again, Deuteronomy was silent, and Grizabella turned away with a growl. "What about Coricopat and Tantomile?" she snapped as she began to pace. "Will their magic be bound as well?"

"Grizzle," Deuteronomy said, his voice low with a warning, but she merely glanced at him expectantly, and he sighed. "No."

She made a quiet, vindictive noise, but Deuteronomy was quick to respond. "Their magic is different…it's…"

"Complicated," she finished for him, still pacing.

"Grizzle," Deuteronomy said again, his tone a little sharper, but she continued, ignoring him.

"It's different…a difficult situation. But what do I know of difficult situations? I only raised him for you."

"That's enough, Grizabella," Deuteronomy growled.

I realized at the same moment she did that he had used her full name, and she fell silent beneath his gaze. His glare was sorrowful, but still pointed, and she stepped back, her eyes dropping slightly.

"It's not your place to question," he continued, and she smiled bitterly, her eyes lifting to his once more.

"No," she agreed softly. "It isn't, is it?"

Deuteronomy grimaced, dropping his own gaze. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's not me you need to apologize to." She continued to stare at him even though he wouldn't meet her eye. "You need to be the one to tell him. You owe him that much."

He nodded heavily, and she moved to the door. As she did, the room began to crumble away, darkness filtering in and slowly taking over.

"You promised!" I heard Macavity scream, but even that was faint as the warehouse began to come back into view.

"I hate you!"

 _Macavity!_ Another scream, but it was gone in a sudden rush, and I was back in the dim room of the warehouse.

I was shaking, I realized belatedly, reeling from everything I'd seen and heard. Macavity stood before me, an unreadable expression on his face. He seemed lost in thought, but he roused quickly when he noticed me staring, moving to pace a slow circle around me.

"The funny thing about magic," he said as he walked. "Is the thing that so few truly understand. Magic is not the cat. The cat is not magic. The cat is merely the bearer; the vessel, if you will. The magic itself is unpredictable…a wild creature, that doesn't take kindly to being locked away without the space to run."

He paused a moment to stare sharply at me, his eyes narrowing. "Do you know what happens when a cat's magic is bound?"

I shook my head wordlessly, and he bared his teeth in a sneer. "The magic tries to break free," he growled. "And when it fails, it turns inwards, and attacks the vessel."

A bitter smile twitched his lips, venom coloring his words. "Being burned alive is always a… _fun_ experience. It's even more so when you know that it was your own father who did it to you."

I shook my head again, at a loss for what to say. "I…I'm…"

"Don't. You. Dare," he hissed, and I faltered, staring up at him in surprise.

"I don't need your apologies," he continued lowly. "Only your cooperation."

"But I…"

"You _understand_."

"I…Yes, I understand, but that doesn't mean I _agree_."

His head tilted slightly as he stared at me, frowning thoughtfully before suddenly lifting his head, an amused smile slipping onto his face.

"You think I'm going to kill them."

"Aren't you?" I responded. "I kind of thought that was synonymous with 'destroy the Junkyard.'"

He laughed, and I shuddered, backing away a step for safety.

"I will destroy them, yes," he said, nodding slightly. "But I want them to suffer, as I did. I can't do that if they're dead."

"I'm not sure if that's comforting," I said, backing away another step.

"You have a choice," Macavity growled lowly. "You can work with me, or you can be destroyed with them."

"Is there a third option?" I whispered from halfway across the room.

"No one _needs_ to die." He growled again. "That's the third option, and I will do it with or without you."

He raised a paw, and the door opened quietly behind me.

"Think on that, Persephone."

I was still thinking when Ajax led me back to the room in the basement, and Jez was instantly by my side, hissing as she took in my appearance. I tried vainly to shrug off her paws as she worried over me, making my way into the room without really focusing on where I was going.

"I'm fine Jez," I muttered. "Really, I'm fine."

"Fine!" she spat, her eyes flashing. "What's this, then?" She motioned to my face, and I lifted my paw slowly to press against the wound, wincing at the sharp sting it brought.

"My own fault," I said, honestly. She hissed again, and I pulled away before she could comment further.

"I'm fine, alright? I just need to think for a moment."

She withdrew with a startled and hurt expression, and I sighed, wincing again. "Jez…" I began, but she pursed her lips, shaking her head slightly.

"No, it's alright. Go think."

There was no harshness in her voice, but I still walked away feeling heavier, guilt and confusion churning in my gut.

 _'No one **needs** to die.' _

I let out a frustrated groan as Macavity's words echoed in my head. I knew what he was saying; no one had to die, but they would if I didn't cooperate and participate in his plan. I was never meant to be a part of the story, but now I was, and I had no way out except the way I came; through Macavity.

"Tha's an angry noise if I ever 'eard one."

I looked up to see Rumpleteazer where she'd been for the past few days: curled up by Mungojerrie's side, and Smudge napping on her back. I climbed the small dais to where they lay, and Rumpleteazer moved over slightly to make room for me. Smudge stretched, but didn't make any other move, and I smiled as Rumpleteazer twisted her head to scowl at the sleeping kit.

"'Nnoying little thing, ain't she?"

"Sure," I said, but my smile was halfhearted this time as I stared at Mungojerrie, and Rumpleteazer glanced over at me curiously.

"He hasn't…?" I asked, and her eyes flickered with emotion.

"No."

"I'm sorry," I said, and she shook her head.

"Nothin' you coulda done about it."

"Seeing as I'm the reason he's like that…"

She scoffed, and I looked up at her in surprise. "You were jus' the job," she said, but there was a bitter note to her voice. "Not your fault we failed. We knew the consequences."

I fell silent at that, not entirely sure how to respond. Artemis came back and roused Smudge, coaxing her down off of Rumpleteazer's back and letting me know that Jez wanted to see me once I was done 'thinking.' The way she'd said it made me bristle, but she left with Smudge before I could respond. Rumpleteazer stretched gratefully once the kitten was gone, shifting just a little closer to Mungojerrie before settling down again.

"How did you decide?" I asked her, and she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Decide what?"

"This," I motioned vaguely to the room; the warehouse. "I mean, how…why Macavity?"

"It's not as complicated as you're thinkin' it is," she finally said, her eyes still on Mungojerrie. "We knew what we were signin' up for, not like we were tricked into doing anythin' we didn't want."

"There's a 'but,' though," I said, watching her closely. "Isn't there?"

Her lips twitched wryly, and her eyes glinted with that same dark amusement they'd had the night she and Mungojerrie had confronted me.

"What's he askin' you to do?" she asked, and I started at her knowing tone.

"What?"

"You wouldn't be askin' me all these questions if he hadn't asked you to do something,'" she said. "So, what is it?"

I shook my head, not wanting to reveal to her everything I'd seen and heard, but needing some kind of reassurance.

"People will get hurt," I finally said, refusing to look at her. "People that I care about."

"Do they care about you?"

"What?"

She scoffed lightly, but the amusement was still there as she repeated herself. "Do they care about you? Cuz there's no use fightin' and carin' for them if they wouldn't do the same for you."

"I…I don't know if they care," I admitted quietly. "I know some do, but the rest…I'd like to believe they do."

"No," she said sharply, her eyes holding a bitter, sorrowful look as she stood abruptly. "Belief ain't good enough; you gotta _know_. And if ya don't know, well…there's your answer."

"Is that how you do it?" I asked her, stopping her midstride. "You and Jerrie?"

She glanced at me over her shoulder, the bitterness drifting into her smile. "It's how we've survived."

I fell silent at that, and she turned back around, not looking back as she jumped down off the dais. "Yell for me if he finally moves his lazy self, alright?"

I smiled a bit at that, but she was already heading to the door before I could respond, and I sighed, turning to my thoughts once more. Despite her belief, it wasn't quite so simple a decision for me, but the wrong one would cost more than just my life, but the lives of those I'd grown to care about. I tried to shove away the doubts, but they kept coming back, and I wasn't sure how to answer them. Rumpleteazer's advice didn't do much to help my confidence, either, but it wasn't as though I had many options in front of me.

"I could always leave," I suggested to myself, and a sharp laugh made me jump in surprise. I looked up to see Artemis glaring at me, her eyes like twin bolts of fire as she stared.

"Leave," she repeated with another scoff. "No one _leaves_ Macavity."

I stood, unnerved by her stare but trying not to show it. "I was just thinking," I protested, and she frowned.

"I know you are. But thoughts lead to actions, and as loathe as I am to admit it, you've grown on me."

"Thank. You?"

"We don't need another repeat of history," she growled, her tail flicking restlessly.

"I keep hearing that," I said, jumping down so I was level with her. "What does that mean; I'm not allowed to leave?"

Her eyes flickered, but her sharp tone never wavered as she responded. "Go ask Jez," she hissed darkly. "Ask her what happens when you try to outrun the Hidden Paw."


	14. perspective is a terrible hand to hold

**Hi everyone! *shyly peeks out at the angry mob* I'm sooo sorry that I haven't been updating! School stuff is getting in the way, and I was going through some things...but I'm back now and I promise I won't suddenly go away like that again! I've managed to get a little bit ahead in the writing for this story, though updates might be sparse as I have a test coming up that I need to prepare for.**

 **But I haven't forgotten all of you, and the knowledge that I had a story to work on and fans to think of helped give me a push to get moving.**

 **To my reviewers!**

 **Evelyn Knight: I'm glad you liked my backstory! I wasn't sure at first, afraid it might be too bold or come across the wrong way, but I'm glad you like it. There will be more backstory, and more Macavity interactions with Grizabella. That's all I'm going to say. ;)**

 **Guest (Aira): I took inspiration from Shere Khan (both the original and the latest live action) as well as a bit of Moriarty Sherlock for Macavity, and just a little bit of Loki thrown into the mix for that mischievous fun. ;) He's definitely an interesting character and I have so much fun writing him. I'm glad you're enjoying my interpretations and I hope you continue to enjoy.**

 **Guest: Is it alright if I request some kind of nickname for you as well? I'd hate to be so impersonal and just call you Guest since you took the time to share your thoughts. Thank you for the kind words, and I hope you will continue to read and enjoy my story! :)**

 **Ok, I think I've held you up enough! No warnings for this chapter aside from general angsty feels, and hints at some darker things. I hope you guys enjoy, and I promise I will have the next chapter up soon!**

 **Don't forget to review!**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

"What do you need me to do?"

Macavity's surprise lasted only a second before his face split into a grin, and I prided myself on not shuddering as he approached me.

"I'm glad you've finally come to your senses," he said, still smiling, but I held my paw up before he could continue.

"If I'm going to do this, we need to set some ground rules." I kept my voice steady, maintaining eye contact as I spoke.

"Ground rules?" he repeated, but his expression was amused, not murderous, and I felt confident enough to continue.

"You have to promise me that no one will get hurt."

He smirked at that, and a small tremor went through my body. "I'm afraid I can't promise that," he said lowly. "You see, my plan is to make them suffer, and unfortunately that will involve hurting."

I grimaced, but grit my jaw anyway, resolute. "No one will die," I stated, and his eyes flashed, but his smirk remained in place.

"That is entirely up to you, my dear."

I growled, ignoring the way he was glaring at me, ignoring the warnings. I wasn't going to back down on this. I might be following his plan, but I was following it on my terms, and only so nothing worse could happen.

"No one. Will die." I repeated, and he was no longer smiling, all amusement gone.

"No one will die," he echoed, but I still felt a sick feeling in my stomach, and I knew I would have to watch carefully to ensure he kept his word.

"Now," he said stiffly, a hint of a growl in his words. "If you are entirely satisfied…." His words drawled off as he made a gesture with his paw, and the door opened behind me. I turned, and was surprised and startled to see Rumpleteazer entering the room. She barely glanced at me, instead stopping just off to my left, watching Macavity for instructions.

"You will be going to the Junkyard with Rumpleteazer," Macavity said, and I straightened instantly, simultaneously relieved and terrified at the news. "She will be showing you the 'ins and outs,' so to speak, of the yard."

"But I already know the ins and outs of the yard," I said, and Rumpleteazer glanced slyly at me from the corner of her eye.

"Not all of 'em."

"You are not to be seen," Macavity said sharply, drawing our attention once more. "You are simply there to observe the state of things, and you will report back to me immediately. Is that understood?"

Rumpleteazer nodded once firmly, and he looked to me. I hesitated, my eyes on the floor as I thought about it. Was I really going to do this? Betray the Junkyard? Betray the Jellicles, when they had done so much for me that I hadn't deserved? Sure they had done terrible things, but who didn't? Everyone made mistakes. Their mistakes just happened to cost more than anyone had foreseen. I had to remind myself that no one would get hurt; no one would die as long as I was careful, and made sure to keep them out of harm's way without revealing how I knew about the harm. Easy. I could do that.

I raised my eyes to Macavity's and nodded, and he smiled once more, satisfied with my cooperation. The door opened again, and I followed Rumpleteazer out of the room and into the hallway. We walked down a flight of stairs, and stepped out into the place I recognized as the main room where I had first entered the warehouse.

"We're not going out the window?" I asked, and she shook her head, her gaze focused on where we were going.

"Nah, there's no need for that now. We're goin' out the front door."

"Oh," I said, and fell silent.

The sky was clear as we stepped out onto the street, and I squinted at the light from the sun, my eyes used to dim and dark. Rumpleteazer allowed me a moment for my eyes to adjust, but then she took off at a fast jog, and I darted forward to sprint after her. As we turned off the street of the warehouse, I noticed the street sign that I hadn't been able to read when I had come in. The letters were worn and faded, but I just managed to make out the name.

Lupus Street.

I laughed, and Rumpleteazer paused and gave me a curious look.

"Lupus Street," I said, nodding at the sign. "Macavity's warehouse is on Lupus Street."

"So?" she said, her brow furrowing.

"You know, Lupus, like the Latin for 'wolf.' I just thought it ironic that a cat lived on a street named for a dog."

She rolled her eyes and set off again, not even cracking a smile. "Keep up, we don't have a lot of time."

"Come on, Teaser," I protested as we ran. "Tell me it's not a little funny."

"Ha ha ha," she huffed, and I frowned.

"Did I do something?" I asked. "Are you mad at me?"

"No," she said quickly, glancing over. "Why?"

"You just seem…testy." I said carefully, and she glanced back towards the road ahead of us.

"Not mad at you," she finally said. "Jus' mad at the situation."

"The situation?"

"We might work for Macavity, but the Junkyard is still our home," she said. "Jerrie and I were born there; it's on our blood. Don't quite like the idea of it bein' destroyed, is all."

"I…I didn't know that," I said quietly, my doubts returning full force. "That would make you guys part of the Tribe, wouldn't it?"

"Not quite," she muttered. "We come and go too much to really settle and be part of the Jellicle Tribe, but they can't exactly do anythin' about us bein' there if we wanna be there."

I remembered the words from their song, then: 'This is merely our center of operation,' and I nodded my understanding. She turned back onto the side street where she and Jerrie had ambushed me, but stopped just short of the main road. Her ears pricked forward, every muscle tense and alert as she scanned the area quickly. She relaxed only enough to sit, and I followed her actions warily.

"Ok," she said in a low whisper. "Rule numb'r one of bein' discrete: avoid the humans."

"I know to avoid the humans, Teaser," I said, but she shook her head, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Numb'r two: stay low. Humans're usually focused on where they're goin', but not how they're goin', so you will get stepped on if you're not careful."

"Ok," I drawled, highly amused by the seriousness with which she spoke.

"Numb'r three: Watch your scent."

"My scent?" I repeated, and she nodded, pausing to take another look around.

"Once we step out onto that street, every cat within a hundred yards can smell us, includin' the Jellicles."

 _A hundred yards?_ I thought, but I just nodded again, and she nodded, satisfied.

"Hey, just out of curiosity," I said sheepishly. "Um…what _do_ I smell like?"

It was her turn to look amused as she took in my embarrassed expression, but she humored me anyway, lightly sniffing the air around me. "You smell like dust," she informed me with a smug smirk, and I faltered taken aback.

"Dust? Like, dirt dust?"

She giggled at my tone, and I tried not to look offended. "No," she said, still giggling. "No, like…you know those wood tables?"

I nodded cautiously, unsure what she was getting at.

"You smell like them; ya know, when they're bein' made, and the table dust is everywhere."

"So I smell like table dust," I said, and she laughed again, her eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Yes."

"Great, I guess."

"Would you feel better if you commented on what I smelled like?"

I glared at her, trying to see if she was just making fun of me. She straightened, trying and failing to contain her grin. I growled at her, but she just laughed again, nudging me slightly, that mischievous gleam back in her eyes. As she leapt at me again, the wind shifted and I caught the smell of perfume.

"Wait," I said, stepping back in surprise. "Wait, perfume?"

She tilted her head in a sort of begrudging motion, and I took another cautious sniff, wrinkling my nose at the strength of the perfume.

"I think it's supposed to smell like flowers," I finally said. "But it's too strong to tell."

"Lilacs," she said. "It's our human's favorite. I tried to get rid of it, but it sticks."

I chuckled a little, and she growled at me, her eyes narrowing. "You're one to laugh, saw dust."

I tried to protest, but couldn't think of anything to retort with, and she laughed again before sobering. "Ok, we can argue, or we can do the job we were sent to do."

"Right," I said, and she started out from the alleyway.

We crept out onto the sidewalk, and then jumped down to walk in the street by the curb. I stayed low, following Rumpleteazer exactly, making note of all the street signs and buildings we passed. We finally entered Queen Street, and Rumpleteazer relaxed minutely.

"Almost there," she muttered, and I looked around and realized we were on the same street where Munkustrap and Alonzo had found me only a couple short weeks ago.

"Forgot to tell you the most importan' rule," Rumpleteazer said suddenly, and I looked over at her curiously. "Dogs."

I smiled then, my earlier amusement returning. "Let me guess: run?"

"No!" she hissed sharply. "You never run! Runnin' just makes 'em chase you!"

"Ok, then what?" I asked, and she resumed her serious tone.

"You hold your ground and look 'em firm in the eye; make sure he knows you aren't gonna invade his territory, long as he don't invade yours."

"And that works?" I asked, and she nodded.

"'Cept for them lousy Pekes," she snarled. "Them you wanna run for."

"But they're so small!" I said with a laugh, and she scowled fiercely.

"Big enough to bite."

"Right," I said, my amusement cut short. She straightened suddenly, and I looked up to see a familiar line of shops, and a lone sewage pipe, narrowly wedged between a crumbling building and a wooden fence.

"This is it," she said softly, and I felt a pang of something sharp and desperate in my gut. "Stay close, and stay low."

I nodded quietly, creeping after her as she approached the pipe. Instead of crawling through it, however, she leapt up on top, squeezing through a narrow gap and disappearing from view. I leapt onto the pipe after her, anxious and nervous as I came face to face with the knowledge that if I took that step, I would be betraying everyone I'd grown to care about.

"You comin'?" Rumpleteazer hissed from the darkness, and I steeled myself, squeezing into the space after her.

I found myself in a narrow walkway, small shafts of light piercing the space and highlighting all the cobwebs. I coughed away some dust, squinting as I tried to see where I was walking.

"If you keep goin', you're gonna walk right into the clearing," Rumpleteazer's voice said, and I looked up to see her balancing on the wooden fence beside the pipe.

"How did you get up there?" I asked, and she gave me a deadpan look.

"Magic," she muttered, and I huffed an irritated sigh. I crouched low, then leapt straight up, scrambling desperately at the fence beneath me to maintain my balance.

"You have got to be the worst excuse for a cat I ever met," Rumpleteazer said, walking easily along the rail. "I mean, it's understandable, considerin' you're not really a cat, but still…least you could do is try."

"Ok, well you know…what?" I faltered, almost slipping off the fence. "What did you say?"

"I'm not stupid," she said, continuing along. "You don' act like a normal cat; in fact, you gotta be the worst excuse for a cat I ever seen."

I faltered, unable to think of how to respond.

"And, anyway," she continued, easily. "It helps that Macavity explained his plan beforehand. Jus' never thought he'd actually do it."

"So you've known I wasn't a cat this whole time?" I finally burst out, unable to keep the hurt and indignation out of my voice. "And you didn't think to say anything, or..."

"Or what?" she interrupted sharply. "Help you find a way out? I'm not magic, you know. I don' know how all that hocus pocus works."

I growled, and she sighed, softening slightly.

"If it helps any, I only found out the other day."

"It doesn't," I muttered, and she fell silent. "I'm sorry," I said with a slight huff. "I just never thought…."

"Sh!" she hissed, and I straightened, angry again.

"Hey, I'm just trying to…"

"Be. Quiet." She hissed again, and I saw that she had gone rigid on the fence, and voices were filtering through the cracks.

"…anything?" I heard a voice say, and I pricked my ears forward as I recognized it.

Munkustrap!

"No," I heard someone else respond lowly, and I recognized the Scottish accent as Skimbleshanks.' "I've looked all along the rail, even asked the other station cats, but no one has seen her."

"We have to keep looking," a female spoke up firmly, and I felt a deeper pang as I recognized Demeter. "We'll find her."

"I still don't understand why we're even trying," another female interjected, a sour note in her voice. "She clearly made her decision."

Growls met this remark, and I crept closer, peering carefully through the cracks to see what was happening. A small circle of cats stood just outside the clearing, and I recognized the distinct patterns of Munkustrap, Demeter, Skimbleshanks, Bomba, and…I paused, then peered closer. Jellylorum and Jennyanydots. It seemed that most of the adults of the Tribe were there, aside from a few: Alonzo, Cassandra and Coricopat and Tantomile.

It was Jellylorum who had spoken, and Demeter and Bombalurina both were glaring at her fiercely, Demeter growling to show her disapproval. Munkustrap sighed, making a vague motion with his paw towards Demeter, who stopped growling but still glared at the older Queen.

"Jel," Munkustrap began, but she cut him off sharply.

"You said it yourself, Munkustrap; she's not one of us."

I realized with a start that they were talking about me, and my tail twitched as I crept closer.

"Maybe if we had made her feel more welcome," Demeter hissed angrily, but Jellylorum interrupted her as well.

"Inviting her into our home wasn't enough?"

Munkustrap sighed again, stepping forward before Demeter could do more than just growl at Jellylorum.

"That's enough," he said quietly, but firmly, and they fell silent. "What matters is she's gone, and arguing about it won't bring her back."

"We should never have brought her in in the first place," Jellylorum muttered, and Munkustrap's ears went back, a frown pulling his features down sharply.

"Jellylorum, please," he said firmly, and she sniffed haughtily before walking away. I couldn't say I was sad to see her go, and the tension in the group seemed to diminish once she had left.

"C'mon," Rumplteazer whispered, and I jumped, forgetting that she was there. We continued along the pipe until she stopped and squeezed her way down through a hole in the metal. I followed, and just caught a glimpse of her disappearing through the side of the pipe. When I stepped out after her, we were at the far side of the Junkyard, well away from any of the dens or other cats. There were several piles of junk strewn about, and a few mismatched props for the ball were wedged in the debris, including something that may or may not have been a flagpole.

"Stay low, and meet me back here when the shadows cross the pole," Rumpleteazer hissed, and I looked over to see her preparing to leap onto a pile of trash.

"Where are you going?" I whispered, and she made a shushing noise.

"Got my own work to do," she said quietly, already halfway up the pile. "Jus' remember the rules and you'll be fine."

She was gone before I could protest, and I glanced around anxiously, my fur raising slightly as I found myself alone in the Junkyard. There was no guarantee that I would be perceived as anything less than a threat, and Jellylorum's words rang in my ears. I wasn't welcome, and I wasn't entirely sure if I had been at all; if my initial experience with the Jellicles was simply due to the hiding of true feelings. I tried to shake myself of the doubts, but my time with Macavity had influenced me more than I thought. I shouldn't have agreed to this; I shouldn't be here.

I was preparing to flee back into the pipe when something rustled off to my left, and a voice whispered my name.

"Persephone?"

The pronunciation was wrong, and I froze, not wanting to turn and see my fears confirmed. I felt a gentle sort of tingling, and could smell something resembling coffee beans, as a body brushed against me softly. I couldn't help but flinch, and the form withdrew before circling around me completely. And there she was: Exotica, her dark eyes filled with worry, the white stripes on her face only serving to highlight the emotion.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered, and I shifted backwards slightly as she made to approach me again. She stopped, and the worry strengthened, hurt flickering into the mix.

"Sorry," I said, my voice hoarse as the memories that I had seen replayed in my mind. "Sorry, I…I don't know why I came back, I…." I turned, desperate to flee from this situation.

"Stay," Exotica said from behind me, a pleading note to her voice, and I hesitated, shuffling uncomfortably. "Everyone has been looking for you. We were all worried something might have happened."

 _Something like Macavity, you mean? I know. I know what you did._ The bitter remark was just there on the edge of my lips, but I clenched my jaw, forcing it back.

"Nothing happened," I lied, still not turning to face her. "I just didn't think I fit in, so I stayed away."

"Where did you go?" she asked, still in that quiet tone, and I couldn't help but feel a slight surge of anger.

 _Stop pretending you care!_ I didn't know if the thoughts were mine or Macavity's, but the anger and the pain were definitely my own. _I know the truth; I know what happened! I know why Macavity hates you all._

It was all there, waiting to be said, and my resolve was slipping. I knew I'd have to say something, do something, but….

"I went all over," I finally said, turning around but not looking her in the eye. "I found some museums, even a few theatres. I almost snuck into one, too." I tried for a smile, but I was certain she would know it was fake.

"Bustopher and Skimbleshanks never saw you," she said, and I knew she could tell.

"I saw them," I lied again; so easy. Why was it so easy? "I just stayed low, I really didn't think you would want me back."

"Well," she said after a moment. "You're back now. That's all that matters."

No! I felt a hint of panic. No, I'm not back, I can't be back. That wasn't part of the plan. Don't be seen! That was the one rule, the one rule and he'll….

"Persephone?"

I drew a sharp breath, my eyes flicking up to hers on a desperate instinct. There was more than worry there now…something worse. Knowledge. Understanding; as though, somehow, she _knew._

"I wasn't supposed to get this far," I said. "I told myself I wasn't going to come back."

"Then why did you?"

I shook my head, unaware that I had been backing away until she stood. "I don't know."

"Don't-," I heard her cry, but I was already running before she could finish telling me not to, leaping for the closest shadow and burying myself in it, doing what I should have been from the beginning. Staying low, and not being seen.

I crawled my way through, peering out only long enough to gauge where I was, how I had gotten there, and who was around before moving on. I had made it halfway across the Junkyard before something caught my eye, and I paused again, curiosity getting the better of me. I felt the air leave my lungs in a soft sigh, then return in a constricted rush as I saw what it was.

My den.

Only, it wasn't as I had remembered. The porch had been buried so deep it was only just big enough to crawl into, but now it stood higher from the ground like a tent. A small alcove could be seen looking in, and the alcove itself was filled with books. There was a small green bed tucked into the corner, and strung up above the entrance was my name, painted in a delicate flowing script, accentuated in equal parts by flowers and small gold fairy lights.

There were cats standing outside, and I recognized Demeter, Bomba, and...I had to look again to be sure. Tugger. He stood with his hands on his hips, eyeing the lights with a slight frown.

"I still think we should have strung up flashing ones," he said. "You know, really make it pop."

"I don't think she's the kind to fall for things that pop," Bomba said. "Especially considering the way she turned you down."

Tugger shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "Come on, Bomba, it was one time! I said I was sorry, and it won't happen again, I swear."

"I can't see how it could," Demeter said, sorrow in her voice. "Seeing as she's gone."

"Deme," Tugger said softly, obviously trying for comfort, but she shook her head, waving it off.

"It's fine," she said, but Bomba stepped forward, placing her paws comfortingly on her shoulders.

"It's not fine," she said firmly. "What is it?"

"It's been a week," Demeter burst out, and I could see her struggling not to cry. "We should have found her by now, and I just can't help but think…."

Bomba shushed her before she could continue, though I could see the same fear reflected in her own eyes. "We'll find her."

"Yeah," Tugger chimed in helpfully. "She's tough. If she could stand up to me, she could stand up to anything."

"Not helping," Bomba snapped, and he ruffled his mane.

"Fine. I have to go find Munkustrap, anyway." He wandered off, and I followed him on a whim, staying low and creeping along the edges of the junk piles.

Munkustrap was still in the clearing, but Alonzo was with him this time, as well as Coricopat and Tantomile. They glanced up as Tugger approached, but continued with the conversation once he had moved to stand beside Munkustrap.

"There's still no sign of her anywhere," Alonzo said. "At this point, Munkustrap, I think we should consider…."

"What? Giving up?"

Alonzo winced, but nodded slowly.

"We can't give up on her, Munkustrap," Tantomile said. "She's one of us, no matter what anyone thinks."

"I know that," Munkustrap said tiredly. "I can try to delay the ball, but as much as I hate to say it, we may have to assume the worst."

A heavy silence settled over the group, and I couldn't help but wonder again if the worst was death, or Macavity. Coricopat's ear twitched, and his head turned sharply to stare in my direction. I sucked in a sharp breath, not daring to move from where I hid. He couldn't possibly have heard me, not with the block….

"Cori?" Tantomile asked, and all eyes turned to him. "What is it?"

"I thought…" he drawled thoughtfully, but was interrupted as Alonzo sneezed.

"Why do I smell cheap perfume?" he asked, his nose wrinkling, and Rumpleteazer stepped out from behind another pile of junk, a small bag that she hadn't had before draped over her shoulder.

"Cheap!" she hissed indignantly, her fur raising as she glared at Alonzo. "I'll have you know my 'uman paid seven 'undred pounds for this perfume."

Seven hundred pounds! I thought, choking back an audible gasp. That was like, a thousand dollars in American money.

"What are you doing here?" Alonzo said, hissing right back at her, and Munkustrap raised his eyes skywards, as though mentally sending a prayer for help.

"Alonzo," he said reproachfully, and the Tom scowled but didn't say any more. He turned to Rumpleteazer and leveled his own questioning look at her.

"I do have to agree with him on one thing, though," he said. "What are you doing here, Teaser? And where's Jerrie?"

Rumpleteazer shrugged with one shoulder, adjusting the bag on her opposite side. "Didn' wanna come," she said easily, and Alonzo growled slightly at that.

"What, he didn't feel like we were good enough?" he asked, but Munkustrap ignore him, understanding in his eyes as he gazed at Rumpleteazer. I wondered if he knew, somehow, and it was just some sort of code between them, and I made a mental note to ask her later.

"Should I be concerned about what's in the bag?" Munkustrap asked, and Rumpleteazer smirked, a gleam in her eye.

"You should be very concerned," she answered, and Alonzo took a wary step back while Munkustrap tried to decide if she was serious.

"What's goin' on here, anyway?" she continued, while he thought. "I mean, shouldn' you be getting' ready for the ball? It's only what…three days away?"

"We should be," Munkustrap said. "But one of our members has gone missing. She…you know, you and Jerry weren't here when she arrived. I doubt you'd even know her if you saw her."

"Well, if ya tell me, I could keep an eye out," she said, and I shook my head. She was quite the actress.

"She has short brown fur that has darker brown stripes if you look close enough in the right light," Coricopat said.

"And just a little hint of white under her chin," Tantomile finished, and Rumpleteazer nodded, looking as though she was receiving this information for the first time.

"Well if it helps any, there haven't any new arrivals at work, so…."

There was a collective sigh of relief, and Munkustrap looked grateful as he responded. "It does help. At least our worst fears haven't been confirmed."

Yes, I thought, my eyes narrowing. It's good to know you'd rather see me dead in a ditch.

"I'll keep an eye out," Rumpleteazer repeated, adjusting the bag again. "An' I'll let Jerrie know, since he likes to do his own thing sometimes."

"And Teaser," Munkustrap said before she could leave. "Just know that if you or Jerrie need anything…"

Rumpleteazer scoffed lightly. "Come on, Munk, we're not havin' this conversation again."

"The offer still stands," he said, and she paused before nodding slightly, then jogging off and out of the clearing.

I ducked back into the shadows and made my way after her, reaching the pole moments before she did. She nodded at me, then leapt back into the pipe. The trip back was silent as I thought over everything I had seen and heard, still struggling between doubt and anger. But I couldn't deny the fact that I was touched to see how Bomba and Demeter, and even Tugger had gone out of their way to decorate my den for me, and the fact that Munkustrap had even considered cancelling the ball for my sake…. It made me question everything all over again.

"Is that perfume really seven hundred pounds?" I asked Rumpleteazer to distract from my thoughts. She chuckled, and nodded.

"Yup, and it's worth every penny."

"Apparently," I muttered, and she chuckled again before suddenly changing the subject.

"Did you find anythin' useful?"

"Huh?"

"You can't go back empty handed!" she hissed. "You were sent to get information; what information did you get?"

* * *

"The Junkyard seems to be in a vulnerable position," I reported in a monotone. "My…disappearance…hit harder than I thought it would."

Macavity made a thoughtful hum before motioning that I continue. He was pacing again, circling around the room slowly, and I couldn't decide if I should worry about his silence or take it for the blessing it appeared to be.

"Munkustrap nearly cancelled the ball," I said, and his head shot up in shock. "Nearly," I made sure to emphasize. "It's three days away, so he can't really afford to cancel now."

Another thoughtful hum. A nod of the head. The bag that Rumpleteazer had brought was sitting innocuously on the pool table, and I focused on that instead of the pacing criminal.

"There's a side entrance," I said. "Rumpleteazer showed me; if you jump onto the pipe instead of going into it…"

"I know about the pipe," he snapped impatiently, and I started, looking up in surprise.

"You do?"

"Who do you think told her about it?"

I fell silent, and he huffed slightly. "Anything else?"

"I…," I began, but then I faltered, not wanting to think about what would happen if he knew I'd run into Exotica.

"No," I finished. "Not much."

"I suppose it is better than nothing." He frowned, but thankfully didn't press.

"Thanks," I muttered, and his eyes narrowed.

"You're not having any second thoughts now, are you my dear?" he growled. "Because I can assure you, it is far too late to turn now."

 _Past the point of no return, no backward glances. Our games of make believe are at an end!_

"No," I said quickly, shaking my head to clear it of the dark thread it had gone on. "I know that…I…."

"You're still worrying about what I'm going to do to them," he finished, and I nodded. It had been on my mind, and it was better admitting that than to admit my confrontation with Exotica.

"There is no need to worry," he purred smoothly. "As long as you do your part, no one will be seriously injured."

"Wait, _seriously_ injured?" I repeated. "As in, there will still be injury?"

He said nothing, just peered at me calmly, and I growled in frustration. It was my turn to pace, and I cursed myself for even thinking I could trust him to keep his word.

"I should never have agreed to this," I said.

"No, you shouldn't have."

"I should have known you would do something like this! I should have seen I was being tricked."

"I'm not called a master criminal for nothing, my dear."

"I should have run when I had the chance."

"Ah, but we all know where that leads, don't we?"

 _Jez, can I ask you something?_

I froze, remembering, and then slumped in pained defeat. This wasn't a game. I could try and tell myself it was, to try and hide from the truth. But the truth was standing before me, glaring back with bright green eyes.

"Don't look so upset," he said with another purr. "You're going back to the Junkyard."

"What?"

"Tonight."


	15. not so sweet homecomings

**Hey guys! I can't begin to apologize enough for how long it had taken me to update this story. No excuses, I am a horrible person and you have every right to be upset. But I am back now, and I swear I won't let a delay like that happen again.**

 **To my reviewers!**

 **amethyst-labyrinth: I love your username! And yes, it's definitely a tricky situation, with a lot more going on beneath the surface. I can't say what Jellylorum's issue with me is, since 'I' haven't figured it out yet, but I will say it's not so much me as it is, the situation in general. Can't go into details without spoiling, but we will be finding out soon. ;)**

 **MsDefender: Don't worry, Bustopher Jones and his infamous white spats will be making an appearance. I hope you'll stick around and continue to enjoy the story.**

 **Aira: Yes that was indeed a Phantom of the Opera reference! I'm glad you picked up on it, and that you're enjoying the story. Thank you for the kind words! There's another musical theatre reference in this one, let's see if you can find that too. ;)**

 **Moving on to the story, I've started working on notes for the next couple chapters, so it shouldn't be insanely long until I update again. And, added bonus, this chapter is insanely long! I was going to cut it, but couldn't find a good place to cut, and then I thought, well it's been 3 months, you deserve a super long chapter. So enjoy the super long chapter!**

 **No warnings apply for this chapter. Again, really sorry for the delay. I hope you will continue to enjoy and I look forward to hearing what you all think!**

 **\- Raven**

* * *

I tried to remind myself to breathe as I walked alone through the streets. The sky was clear, not even a hint of stars to direct me towards my destination. It would be fine, I tried to tell myself. I was going back to the Junkyard, and everything would be fine. It had to be fine, the other options didn't bear thinking about.

Macavity had made it very clear that I was not to mention anything about where I'd been or what I'd done, as though I couldn't have figured that out for myself. My side still burned from where he'd struck me for offering that very remark in response, but that was the only recent injury. The rest had all healed relatively quickly, with Jez's help, although the mark across my face, she'd said, would be permanent. I tried not think about Jez, or the other Queens, but I couldn't help but wonder what they must have thought, knowing that I was leaving and possibly never coming back.

I growled to myself, pulling my thoughts away from the warehouse and focusing on where I needed to go. I turned down a side street, and there it was; the Junkyard. I took a slow, deep breath, calming my nerves and thinking about what I was going to say.

 _They're going to ask questions._

 _Of course they will. It's your answers that I am concerned about._

 _What am I supposed to say? It's been over a week._

 _You'll say what I tell you to say, and nothing more._

I crawled through the pipe, remembering the first time I had entered with Alonzo and Munkustrap. I ducked my head, smiling just a little as Alonzo's voice echoed in my mind, warning of the low hanging bar. And then, just like that, I was through and standing just outside the main clearing. It was Rumpleteazer's voice in my head now, telling me to stay low, and I pricked my ears forward, swiveling them around to pick up on the smallest noise. She had also given me a few lessons on 'how to be a real cat,' and I was finding them quite useful now as I crept forward quietly, my paws barely making any noise against the soft sand.

I was just approaching the entrance to the clearing when I felt something shift in the air, but before I could even look around, I found myself falling forward, tumbling under a heavy weight. Again with being tackled from above, I thought in exasperation. First Mungojerrie and now this! I let my momentum carry me, then twisted, lashing out blindly with sheathed paws to free myself. My attacker leapt away, but I could just make out their form in the darkness, and hear their loud growling; clearly this wasn't a welcoming party.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?"

It was a Tom, I realized at the sound of the voice, though exactly who it was, I couldn't tell. I circled to the left on the balls of my feet, my fur raised slightly and back arched, ready to attack or run at a moment's notice. I sniffed the air and just caught their scent; a sort of piney smell like Christmas trees, and I faltered slightly.

Alonzo? I felt a surge of so many conflicting emotions, I couldn't decide what to feel strongest.

"I said," he growled again. "Who are you, and what are you doing here?"

"Lonzo, is that you?" I choked out, and he hesitated, approaching slowly.

"Who…?" he started to ask again, but then he froze, and he was close enough that I could see the disbelief on his face. "Persephone?"

I tried for a smile, but it didn't quite feel the way it should, so I nodded instead. "Yeah," I said sheepishly. "It's me."

"What are you…I mean…do you have any idea how worried we all were?"

"You were?" I asked, and he made a sound somewhere between a scoff and a laugh.

"I can't believe you're here," he said, and I felt just a small hint of confusion. His reaction wasn't what I had been expecting given…. I had thought that there would surely be no way I could come back, not after leaving the way I had, but apparently that wasn't quite the case.

"Come on," Alonzo said suddenly, standing and reaching out a paw.

"Where?" I asked, fighting the instinct to pull away from his grip on my arm.

"To tell everyone you're alive and that they were wrong," he said with a slight smile. "And to collect my winnings from Tugger."

"Wait," I said, too overwhelmed to process all but one thing. "You made bets about whether or not I would come back alive?"

He cringed, chuckling nervously. "I probably shouldn't have mentioned that last part."

I glared at him, and he wilted slightly under my gaze. "You think?"

He offered an apologetic smile, and I let out a breathy laugh in response. I couldn't reconcile what was happening now with everything I had learned, but I couldn't help but feel grateful that it was Alonzo who had found me. Somehow, he was able to take all the negative emotions and thoughts and turn it into something fun, if only for a moment.

"This way," he said, and I followed him through the familiar piles of junk and past the dens and nearly finished set pieces.

There was light up ahead, and I could hear voices, growing louder as we drew close. I stopped short at the sight of the entire Jellicle Tribe, all gathered around the giant pile of tires. Munkustrap sat atop the tires, looking down at a dark shape below him, while the rest of the tribe looked on. I glanced around, trying to gauge the tension of the situation, and I was startled and surprised to see Grizabella present as well; just lingering towards the back of the crowd, hidden inside a hollow barrel.

"What purpose would I have for being untruthful?" The cat at the foot of the tires asked, and I whipped my head around as I recognized the accented voice of Exotica.

"No one is suggesting that, Exotica," Munkustrap said, and though his voice carried over the crowd, I was surprised to hear how tired he sounded. "You can understand, however, that it is difficult to believe."

"I saw her," Exotica insisted. "I spoke to her. She was here, in the Junkyard."

I drew a sharp breath as I realized she was talking about yesterday, when I'd run into her trying to be discrete. There was a quiet grumbling at her words, and someone spoke up from the gathered cats.

"What exactly was she doing here?" It was Jellylorum, and my ears went back as she spoke. I couldn't help it; I didn't like her, especially not knowing what I knew now. "If she had been intending to return, I doubt she would have been sneaking around like a criminal."

I growled, and Alonzo sighed beside me. "You'll have to forgive Jelly," he said apologetically. "She can be a bit…outspoken at times."

A bit? I thought, but said nothing, listening instead.

"I can't imagine she felt very welcome." It was Demeter who spoke up in my defense, her own ears going back as she glared at Jellylorum. "Not when we never gave her a chance to be one of us."

"Have you forgotten what happened the last time we gave a stray a chance to be one of us?" Jellylorum hissed.

A flash of movement caught my eye, and I turned my head to see that Grizabella had stiffened inside her barrel. Demeter, too, had tensed, several emotions flickering across her fast, too fast for me to interpret.

"She's not one of us, and she'll never be one of us," Jellylorum continued.

Munkustrap sighed again heavily, and raised his voice to be heard over the mutterings that had arisen at her words.

"That is not your decision to make, Jellylorum," he said sternly, and she fell silent, though she continued to scowl.

"Regardless of what exactly drove her away," Exotica said carefully. "I can't say I'm entirely certain what made her stay away. She seemed…afraid of something. She felt as though we wouldn't accept her back."

"I don't know why she would feel that way," Munkustrap said, and Alonzo chose that moment to step forward, raising his paw slightly to grab Munkustrap's attention.

"You can always ask her yourself," he said with a grin. "Since she's here."

Silence fell, as all eyes turned. I grimaced, stepping up next to him and trying not to look as terrified as I felt.

"Thanks, Alonzo," I muttered sarcastically.

And then, chaos.

The kittens surged forward first, purring and shouting and squealing; rubbing, batting, licking and pouncing; questions pouring out of half a dozen mouths like, where did you go? Why did you leave? Did you explore? What was it like outside? How did you find your way back? Did you bring anything back for me?

The adults pressed in behind them, varying degrees of shock in their faces as they fired their own versions of the kittens' questions. What are you doing back? How dare you come back? What do you think you're doing here? Do you know how worried I was? What do you have to say for yourself? Are you alright? What were you thinking?

I turned desperately, trying to find a way through the crowd, to find a face that wasn't glaring at me, to find shelter from the storm breaking loose all around me. The tide seemed to shift suddenly, a gap opening and allowing me to catch a glimpse of gold fur before I was suddenly being tackled again, but from a different angle this time.

Arms were going around me, and I could only just register the sound of sobs and the faint smell of oranges and cinnamon before pain exploded in my side and I was staggering backwards. There was a sharp whistling sort of noise, and I realized it was me, hissing as I tried to avoid further contact. Demeter's eyes widened in surprise, but it was Bombalurina who leapt to my side, adding her voice to mine and hissing at any who tried to get too close. It was all too much, and I could feel myself slipping, everything pouring into my senses at once.

"Hang in there, Persephone," Bomba whispered, and I registered her arms around me before the world went away in favor of darkness.

* * *

"Well as far as homecomings go, I have seen worse. But I suppose what really matters is that you've arrived."

I groaned, my head pounding in a darkness that was pierced with light with each syllable he spoke.

"Please go away," I mumbled, pressing my hands to my eyes. "Let me be unconscious in peace."

"Chaos is where all the fun is," he retorted, and I groaned again.

"What do you want? I'm already in the Junkyard."

"That you are," he agreed. "But being in is not enough."

"You can never be satisfied, can you?"

"I will be _satisfied_ once I achieve my goal, which means that I cannot just leave you unconscious in peace!"

"…What do you need me to do?"

"The ball is still three days away," he replied easily, as though he hadn't just been shouting a moment ago. "In that time, I will send one of my hench-cats to the Junkyard. You will give him a report on the proceedings for the ball, as well as information on the Jellicles and where they will be at each moment."

"That's…an awful lot," I said carefully, and he growled angrily.

"You knew what you were agreeing to. I expect you to play your part well, Persephone."

* * *

I woke up feeling strangely warm and comfortable, and it only took my brain a moment to realize why it felt so wrong. I froze, keeping my eyes closed, listening intently for any signs of trouble. Voices filtered into my senses, and I focused on them, refusing to move in case I drew their attention.

"…seem to be any other injuries aside from the obvious ones," one voice was saying, and I felt a twinge of familiarity, but I was certain I didn't know who was speaking.

"But if she's alright, then why is she still sleeping?"

I knew that voice. I almost shot upright then at the sound of Demeter's voice, but I lay still, breathing slowly to maintain the illusion. If Demeter was here, then Bomba must be as well, though I had yet to hear her.

"I think it's mostly shock," the stranger said, and her voice was soft, kind and only slightly accented. Again there was that feeling of familiarity, but my mind refused to cooperate and tell me who it was.

"Shock?" Demeter somehow managed to sound even more concerned than she had before, and I couldn't decide whether to feel amused, sad, or angry.

"Sometimes when the body or mind experiences something…traumatic, it will shut down to recover." The strange but familiar voice explained carefully, as though trying not to upset anyone further, but I knew it was unsuccessful when I heard Demeter make a soft noise.

"What could have….?"

"Jenny," and here Bomba chimed in, cutting across Demeter. "You said aside from the obvious injuries. Are there…are there any that are not so obvious?"

Jenny? I thought, her question not fully registering. Jenny. Oh! I had to fight to keep the noise from becoming audible. Oh of course! Jennyanydots, how could I not have figured that out before? Wait…what did Bomba mean by that? I returned my focus to the conversation, though it had come to a tense pause at Bomba's question. Then I heard a sigh, and Jenny spoke again, pausing slightly before continuing.

"It's hard to say for sure," she said carefully. "But I believe there may be several other injuries that I can't see."

"Such as…?" Bomba asked slowly, and I tensed.

Ok, no. No, I was done with the conversation. It was fine when I thought I might learn something useful, but we were not talking about M…. We weren't talking about _that_. I opened my eyes and sat up, shaking my head slightly at the sudden shift to being upright.

"I hate it when people talk about me like I'm not even there," I muttered, and all three cats turned quickly to face me.

"You're awake!" Demeter cried, rushing over and only just managing to keep from tackling me again. But she was smiling, clearly relieved, and I felt bad for my attitude. Of course she really cared, why would I think otherwise? Bomba came over and stood on my opposite side, and though she didn't say anything, I could tell she was relieved and happy to see me as well.

"How are you feeling, dear?" Jenny asked, smiling softly, and I shifted uncomfortably on what I realized was a low table, covered in soft blankets.

"I feel fine," I said, and it was only a partial lie. "Where am I?"

"The med wing," Demeter answered. "It's not really a full medical center; we only have a partial den. So we just call it a wing, since it's all we have."

"That's actually pretty clever," I said, then hesitated as a thought struck me. "How, uh…how long was I out?"

"About an hour," Bomba said quietly, and I looked up at her in surprise.

"What? Really, an hour?"

She nodded, a tight smile of amusement flickering across her face before disappearing. I felt more than saw that something wasn't right, and I had to force myself to maintain eye contact as I spoke.

"What happened in that amount of time?"

Bomba opened her mouth to answer, but Jenny cut in, glancing nervously towards the entrance. "Maybe, not all at once?" she suggested, and I straightened even further at her anxiousness.

"No," I said firmly. "No, I want to kn…."

There was a soft tap at the den's entrance, and a familiar striped head poked its way in the door.

"Is she awake?"

"Yes, Munkustrap," Jenny replied with a soft sigh. "She is awake, but if you're only coming in to pester and ask questions…."

Munkustrap ducked his head sheepishly, understanding the unfinished threat. "No pestering, then," he said. "I promise."

Jenny humphed but waved him in, and he entered slowly, folding the flap down behind him. He stopped just inside the door, raising his paw in a slightly awkward greeting.

"Hello Persephone," he said, smiling just a bit.

"Munkustrap," I replied, nodding slightly.

"It's good to see you awake. And back," he said, and I wasn't sure how to handle his sincerity. "You've created quite a stir."

"A good stir?" I asked, and he paused, glancing over at Jenny, who was frowning slightly.

"She didn't say I couldn't ask questions," I pointed out, and he shrugged helplessly as Jenny made an indignant noise.

"It's a bit of a mixed stir," he finally said, and I nodded again.

"I kind of picked up on that," I said, and he sighed a little.

"It's…things are a bit complicated right now," he said, and I straightened a little further as I waited for him to continue.

"The tribe is glad to have you back," he said. "But there are a few…."

"And those few are important, I'm guessing," I said, and he nodded, grimacing.

"So, what's going to happen?" I asked, searching his face closely for an answer. "Am I staying?"

"You are staying," Munkustrap was quick to confirm. "However, not as part of the tribe."

I felt a confusing mix of relief and anger, as well as anxiousness as the plan was laid out before me once more. I decided to focus on my anger instead, and let it chase away and fears or doubts I might have had.

"So, what does this mean?" I asked. "We're back to square one?"

"It means," Munkustrap replied. "That we're waiting on Old Deuteronomy's decision. The ball will continue as planned, and in the meantime, you are staying on in the Junkyard."

"When will he decide?" I pressed. "And how exactly does it work?"

"That is something we can worry about after you've recovered," Jennyanydots suddenly broke in, frowning at Munkustrap for bringing up the topic, and he ducked his head in apology.

"I believe I've overstayed my welcome," he said, making his way towards the door. "We'll talk more later. But it really is good to have you back, Persephone."

He left then, Jenny disappearing after him, and I sat a moment in silence as I tried to process that statement. My first thought was that it wasn't true, that it couldn't possibly be true, but the sincerity with which he'd said it…. I grimaced, trying to pull myself together and remember the point of my being here. I had to get home, and to do that, I couldn't afford to let myself get caught up in this again.

"Persephone?"

I flinched, so deep in my thoughts I'd forgotten there were still others with me. I turned to face Demeter, who was staring at me closely.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine," I said quickly. Maybe too quickly, judging by Bomba's raised eyebrow, but it was too late to change it.

"I'm fine," I repeated firmly, and Demeter still looked concerned, but she didn't press it. A slight rap on the outside of the wing paused any further discussion, but I wasn't in any way prepared for the cat that strode in.

"Hey, she lives! Welcome back Persephone."

"Tugger?" I said, surprise and confusion, as well as a healthy dose of apprehension filling me as he entered the room.

"In the flesh," he said, spreading his arms widely and smiling, though it faltered slightly as he took in my expression. "How, uh…how are you feeling?"

"Ok, I guess," I said slowly, still trying to process his presence, and figure out his intentions.

"Well ok is better than bad, right?" he tried, and I realized he felt just as awkwardly as I did, and that fact helped calm me and I began to relax.

"Yeah, I suppose it is," I said with a wry chuckle.

"Hey Deme," he said, once the tension had gone. "Have you told her?"

"Told me what?" I asked, looking up at her and Bomba, and Demeter shook her head.

"Not yet. I was hoping…."

"What do you mean you haven't told her yet?" Tugger cried, an exaggerated look of horror crossing his face. "That's just…." He trailed off, and Demeter rolled her eyes. I glanced over at Bomba, who just shook her head slightly.

"Tell me what?" I repeated, and Tugger turned back to me, a slight glint in his eyes as he smirked.

"It's something that needs to be seen," he said, and I found myself being pulled from the bed and led outside, Demeter and Bomba close behind.

"Why do I have the feeling this isn't going to end well?" I asked, following after Tugger.

"I'd say you shouldn't worry," Demeter replied from behind me. "But considering that it's Tugger…."

"I would be offended…," Tugger called back, but suddenly he stopped, his fur raising slightly as he took in something beyond my field of view. "Not good," he muttered, and I instantly straightened up, trying to peer over his shoulder.

"What is it?"

Demeter and Bomba rushed up, and a low growl rose from Demeter, though no one made any move to answer my question. I shoved my way forward, ignoring their warnings, and stopped just past the pile of junk we were hidden behind. We were at my den, but it was now being crowded around by a group of cats, hostile glares directed at the lights which were now dull and lifeless, a few bulbs appearing to be broken.

"I worked hard to get those lights up," Tugger whispered, only half whining, and I glanced over at him as he and Bomba and Demeter crept up beside me.

"You hung them?" I asked, and he nodded. "I painted your name across the top, too," he said, and I felt oddly touched.

"Tugger, that's amazing," I said softly, and he shrugged a shoulder, smiling sheepishly.

"It's the least I could do, considering…." He drawled off, looking away awkwardly. "Look, Persephone, I…."

"No," I said, cutting him off. "It's…I've moved past it. It's fine, Tugger."

It wasn't quite, but I'd been through far worse to hold grudges against the Rum Tum Tugger. And seeing how earnest he'd been, and the work he'd put into my den; in making me feel like I belonged, made me realize there was more to him than I'd previously thought.

"Well, the surprise is ruined," Demeter said lightly. "But what do you think?"

"I love it," I said sincerely, smiling at the three of them. "Really, it means a lot."

"But what are they doing here?" Tugger broke in, motioning to the group.

"Good question," I drawled, the 'n' deepening and turning into a growl as I recognized Jellylorum among the group.

"Persephone," Demeter said softly, a warning in her voice that I didn't quite hear as I was already moving, stalking over on all fours before standing to match the glares I was being given.

"I'm not sure if you're aware," I said lowly. "But this is private property, and I don't appreciate loitering."

"You've got a lot of nerve, I'll give you that," Jellylorum replied sharply, her eyes narrowing. "To think you can come strutting about here like you own the place."

I raised an eyebrow, then pointed casually to my name, which while no longer illuminated, still stood out proudly along the roof of my den. "This is my den," I countered. "Though I don't strut. I'll leave that sort of posturing to you."

I couldn't help the vindictive smirk that crossed my face, and a chorus of growls and hissing met my words. I met them with a cool indifference, though I knew I couldn't keep up the act for long. They weren't here to be insulted; they wanted something.

"What are you doing here, Jellylorum?" It was Demeter, and I felt simultaneously relieved and anxious by her presence. "This isn't your den."

"It's not hers, either."

This didn't come from Jellylorum, but from a dark Sphinx like cat. Cassandra glowered at me, but turned back to meet Demeter's gaze when I hissed at her.

"Persephone has just as much right to be here as you do." Tugger came to my rescue this time, and though Bomba was silent, she was still imposing as she stood on my opposite side.

"She doesn't belong here."

I was surprised to hear Asparagus speaking against me, but I just braced myself further, dropping back to all fours and growling softly.

"Persephone," Demeter said lowly. "It's alright. No one is threatening you."

"Funny," I muttered. "I feel threatened."

"This doesn't need to become a fight," she insisted.

"It's an ambush if anything," I countered, counting the cats silently in my head and trying to determine my odds. Cassandra. Jellylorum. Gus Jr. And a light brown/ginger tabby Tom that I only vaguely recognized. I tried to recall if I'd met him when I first entered the Junkyard, and I remembered seeing him in passing, but never really being introduced. It didn't matter much now, I reasoned, but I figured it would at least be nice to know who was about to jump me.

"No one is threatening you," Demeter repeated, but even she didn't sound so certain. "Jellylorum, that's enough."

"I'm not going anywhere," I said, speaking for myself this time, approaching the scowling Queen with a purpose. "I'm staying; I'm part of the tribe, and I'm not going to let you or anyone else tell me otherwise."

Jellylorum snarled, her teeth bared and eyes flashing as she dropped to her own four feet. There was a soft shuffling behind me, and I was only vaguely aware of Tugger shouting something about getting Munkustrap, but then I had other things to worry about as I was suddenly tackled from the side. I registered only dark brown fur before the sharp sting of a bite broke through my senses, and I growled, my claws coming out as I rolled under the weight. I twisted around, bringing my back feet around and kicking out hard, dislodging the grip on my shoulder.

"Ok, so, that was definitely a threat, right?" I said, to no one in particular, hissing at Cassandra as she scrambled to her feet.

I could feel the wind blowing through my fur as it bristled along my body, but I stayed low, my claws digging anxiously in the dirt as I took in the forms all around me. Asparagus leapt at me next, but he overshot in his zealousness, and I easily dodged his blows, whirling quickly to meet the strange Tom with a glancing blow of my own. He snarled at me, his sharp features becoming sharper, his eyes dark with malice. I growled back, but it was only half the intensity it could have been as I was still trying to figure out who he was.

My distraction proved to be dire as Jellylorum took the opportunity to leap at me, and for an older Queen she could still move. I rolled, but it was only to find myself pinned beneath Asparagus. I brought my arms up to shield my face but even as I did so, I kicked at him with my back feet, trying to throw him off. He backed away just enough for me to get enough leverage, and I used it to my advantage, throwing myself forward and slamming him hard against the ground. He winced, retreating instantly, though Cassandra came at me again, and I wasn't in the position to dodge.

But Cassandra never connected, and the chorus of hisses and snarls fell silent, subdued in the face of a singular growl, low and commanding. I looked up to see Munkustrap, bristling indignantly, his eyes hard as he glared around the group.

"What is the meaning of this?"

He didn't shout, but the intensity of his voice was enough to make me shiver as I picked myself up of the ground. Instantly there was a warm presence at my side, a soft purr and a hint of cinnamon.

"Are you alright?" Demeter whispered, rubbing against me gently.

"I'm fine, Deme," I muttered back, but I wasn't going to deny that having her there certainly helped.

"Well?" Munkustrap said again, and though there was a chain reaction of wincing, no one dared draw attention to themselves. He turned on me, and Demeter quickly rose to my defense.

"It wasn't Persephone's fault," she said quickly, her voice low and just as intense as his own. "They were vandalizing her den."

"Hardly," Jellylorum muttered haughtily. "She attacked us first."

"I felt threatened," I growled lowly, baring my teeth at her. She growled back, and we probably would have gone at it again if Munkustrap hadn't shoved his way between us.

"That is enough," he snapped, and I straightened at his tone, tail twitching slightly. "We don't have time to be dealing with petty grudges. We'll…."

"Petty?" Jellylorum and I chorused together, each of us indignant in different ways.

"They attacked me!" I snapped, motioning in her direction as I glared at Munkustrap. "And you're just going to let it go and call it a petty grudge?"

"Persephone, that's enough." Munkustrap had barely raised his voice, but I faltered anyway, caught off guard by the sharpness. "I will discuss this with you later."

Oh. I took another slight step back as Jellylorum gave me a smug look, anger as well as uncertainty filling me.

 ** _"Oh. I see how it is."_**

 _It's not like that at all!_

 _Of course it is!_

 _What do you know, you weren't even there?_

 _Enough!_

 _I'll deal with you later._

 _I'm sorry._

 _Sorry won't change what you've done..._

 _What have you done?_

 _Can't believe…._

 _Told you he was…._

The whispered statement was enough to open a floodgate, snatches of other words and statements ringing in my head and making me dizzy. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, growling softly against the onslaught and trying to ignore the whispering buzzing in my ears.

"Stop it," I hissed, and the voices stopped, but I could still feel him, a lingering sort of presence clinging in the back of my mind. "Stop…"

"Persephone?"

I flinched, my fur bristling at the soft touch on my arm, but it was only Demeter, concern etched into her features as she stared at me. Behind her, I could see Munkustrap glance over, and though his expression was still stern, I could see traces of that same concern in the slight lift of his brow. I casually shook off Demeter's paw, and tried to ignore the hurt and heightened concerned the action brought.

"I'm ok," I said quickly, straightening. I wasn't going to give Jellylorum or any of the others a chance to see me in a weak position. Not after all that.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, are you sure, Persephone?"

I growled again, and Demeter and Munkustrap exchanged a quick look.

"Come on," she said softly, placing her paw on my arm again. "Let's get you back to the wing."

"I'm fine," I insisted, but Bomba gave me a firm look.

"You're bleeding," she said, and I paused.

"Am I?" I registered the twinge of pain and glanced down to see Cassandra's bite on my shoulder. It was more like a scrape than a bite, but it was bleeding slightly, making my fur stick awkwardly.

"It's barely a scratch," I said, carefully shrugging off Demeter's hovering paws. "I've had worse."

I didn't realize what I'd said until I saw the looks on both Demeter and Bomba's faces; a fleeting, panicked and instinctual knowledge, that bordered almost on paranoia on Demeter. It was followed up by a low rumble in the back of my mind, but I wasn't able to focus on it over the questions that were now being asked.

"Worse?" Came from Bomba, who looked like she was trying to be calm, but the flicking of her tail ruined the effect.

"Where…where have you been?" Demeter's voice was hesitant, like she really didn't want to know but had to know at the same time.

"I-I've been all over," I stammered out, avoiding both of their gazes in favor of staring at the ground. "Not every neighborhood is as friendly as this one."

I tried to keep my tone light, but I was pretty sure I was failing. The growl in the back of my mind was practically a roar, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could take it all. The growl didn't subside, but Demeter and Bomba must have noticed how their questioning was affecting me, because they stopped pressing, and the rest of the trip back to the wing was in relative silence.

I was in no way prepared for the two cats waiting outside, however, and even the growling stopped as I took in the forms, one of which was already rushing towards me. I froze as a set of black and white hatched arms were thrown around me, a soft purr rumbling as a familiar warm and slightly accented voice filled my ears.

"Persephone," she sighed happily. "It's good to have you home."

I blinked hard at that, and it took me a moment to wrap my own arms around her, receiving another purr in response. "Tanto," I whispered hoarsely, then broke off, too many emotions going through me all at once to think of any kind of response. But I hadn't missed her wording, either, or the slight smile Coricopat was giving me, and I tried to get myself to relax a bit more as I pulled away.

"They said you'd come back, but we had to be sure," Tantomile said, still smiling despite the space between us.

"Well, it is for sure," I said, a nervous chuckle slipping past my lips before I could really stop it.

Tantomile thankfully didn't mention it, but I could tell she was fighting to contain her many questions; questions that I couldn't have given answer to. And so I was almost relieved when Munkustrap came storming up, his eyes flashing and a severe look on his face.

"Would you like to explain to me, Persephone," he growled out before he'd fully stopped moving, "Just what happened back there?"

Demeter and Tantomile both moved instinctively closer to me, and even Coricopat shuffled forward a few feet, lending a silent support. I was grateful, but though Munkustrap was intimidating when angry, I'd faced worse than him to truly be terrified. But that isn't to say I didn't think I had nothing to worry about, either. I was still technically an outsider, and I'd just attacked a few members of the Tribe. It could end one of two ways, and the second just wasn't an option.

"I'm sorry Munkustrap," I said, and I didn't have to work hard to show that I was sincere, though I did have to fight to contain my anger. "I didn't mean to get into a fight with them, I just... I felt like I had to defend myself.""

"So you've said, but the situation should never have presented itself in the first place."

"To be fair," Bombalurina cut in smoothly. "They did attack her first."

I'd almost forgotten she was still there, but I was glad for the extra support. Munkustrap sighed, seeming to take it on, but then he shook his head.

"That may be, but according to Cassandra, Persephone did escalate the situation."

I growled, and it had nothing to do with the voice that was trying to say something in the back of my mind.

"What would you have liked me to do then, Munkustrap?" I snapped through gritted teeth. "Simply let them have their way; do nothing to defend myself and just let them ruin my den?"

He stared at me, startled by my attitude, but I was all worked up now, and I wasn't about to go unheard.

"I've been outside the Junkyard for a week now," I continued. "And simply standing there and taking whatever comes doesn't get you anywhere." Except dead, or...well.

Demeter pressed herself even further against me, silently offering her support, and I realized once again, just how close I'd come to revealing my 'week outside the Junkyard.' And there was a painful sort of understanding look in the faces around me, and I didn't want to think about how they'd react if they knew the truth.

"I-I understand that the Junkyard isn't like that," I finished slowly. "And that everyone has…good intentions." Almost everyone. "But it's different coming back from that…so I hope you'll forgive me if it takes some time to get used to it all again."

I waited nervously, the silence too thick around me, the tension too real. I didn't dare raise my head to see just how my little tirade had been taken, but somehow found myself doing it anyway. Of course, my eyes met Munkustrap's first, and I cringed at the look on his face; almost like a grieved or disappointed parent.

I looked away quickly, Coricopat and Tantomile the next to meet my gaze. They were silent, which wasn't unusual for them, but it was a heavy sort of silent. Coricopat's face was a mask, revealing nothing, but his eyes were probing; dark and intense. They were eyes that _knew,_ and I had to fight to tear my gaze away and look to Tantomile. She was a copy of her brother, with that same deep sort of _knowing_ in her eyes, but they shone with a gentle compassion that had been missing from her twin.

Bombalurina looked fierce, a protective gleam in her eye that I was relieved to see was directed not at me, but at Munkustrap, who was still trying to find his words. And Demeter…I couldn't quite tell what the expression was on Demeter's face, but there was something almost haunting about the look in her eyes.

Munkustrap finally cleared his throat, and I braced myself for whatever he was about to say, but he was cut off as Tantomile stepped forward.

"I think," she said pointedly. "This is something we can discuss later, Munkustrap." She glared at him, but there was something meaningful about her stare, and I had the feeling I wouldn't like the 'later discussion.'

"Persephone has had a long day," Tantomile continued smoothly. "A long week, really, and rest would do us all some good."

"It would help to have clear heads about this," Coricopat agreed.

Munkustrap sighed, looking unhappy but resigned. He nodded stiffly, then turned to me. "Forgive me if I've jumped to any conclusions, Persephone," he said. "We'll talk more later."

He left before I could think on how to take his response, but I was grateful for his sudden departure as it meant I didn't have to think of one of my own. The tension seemed to lessen once he had gone, too; still there, but not as strong.

"I feel like I'm causing more trouble being back than being gone," I said, shifting nervously back and forth.

"It's not you," Demeter was quick to reassure me. "It's just…this time of the year, things can get complicated."

"That's an understatement," Bombalurina snorted, but looked a little uneasy herself.

"Alright," Tantomile cut in. "Let's not scare her away again."

I laughed, shaking my head. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere." And I didn't scare easily. Not anymore.

It was decided almost without saying that I would be staying with the twins again, until we got things resorted with my den. But I didn't mind. It would give me a chance to regain my standing with the tribe, and as much as I hated what I was doing; what _Macavity_ was doing, if I was going to have any shot at keeping the Junkyard safe, I was going to have to go back to square one and lay low. I just hoped that it wouldn't be too late to salvage things. For more than just my sake.


End file.
